- Paul Slippery: [pointing to Edwin] How does he fit into all of this?
- Edwin Slippery: I'm helping!
- Paul Slippery: [repeated line] You should be at school!
- Daniel Slippery: [looking at Rory] Who's the guy with him?
- Edwin Slippery: Maybe he's for me! I need someone to love!
- Mr. Proek: [after explaining the side effects of a new drug] You mean I could die?
- Paul Slippery: Technically, yes. But you could die from an excess of whipped cream, which is what I intend to do tonight.
- [holds up a desert that has a peeled banana sticking straight up in the middle]
- Paul Slippery: It's called 'Proud Banana'.
- [to Proek]
- Paul Slippery: Look... would you like to stay for dinner?
- Mr. Proek: Sorry, my wife's expecting me.
- Paul Slippery: Give her a call and tell her to come over.
- Mr. Proek: Proud Banana, eh?
- Paul Slippery: It's from the Big Book of Erotic Food.
- Surinder: [discussing a new drug Dr. Pilfrey has been testing on his patients] Dr. den Harg rang me too. Apparantly in Germany, they tried it on hamsters. They died within minutes.
- Dr. Ronnie Pilfrey: [raises his right hand] As God as my witness, I'll never give it to a single hamster.
- Edwin Slippery: [replying to a love letter/e-mail Pilfrey sent to his mother] I've called it "Deeper feelings for a Doctor".
- [Lucy giggles]
- Edwin Slippery: "Dear Ronnie..."
- Laura Proek: Don't over do it.
- Edwin Slippery: Sorry..."Ronnie, my feelings for you have gotten deeper and mow they threaten to shake my marriage to Paul. He is old and tired. You are young and..." What's the word?
- Lucy Proek: Vibrant?
- Edwin Slippery: That's the one. "I need to see that crazy, crazy smile of yours. The strange and hypnotic hand gestures. The way you sing those old Beatles' numbers."
- Laura Proek: He'll never believe this.
- Edwin Slippery: Of course he will. People believe what they want to believe, and take my word for it, every man wants to believe this.
- Dr. Ronnie Pilfrey: [Reading e-mail] "I've felt the secrecy of what we have between us. We know things others don't. WE're like spies. Secret agents in a forgien land. Once you get this message, destroy it!"
- Edwin Slippery: [Narrating e-mail] "P.S. Give me a sign that you feel the same. A secret code. Wear the brightest socks you can find, and I will know." Now watch him go.
- Laura Proek: I hope you know what you're doing.
- Edwin Slippery: [heavy accent] He insulted my mother. He must die.
- [Clicks 'Send' button]