Straight-Jacket (2004)

Matt Letscher: Guy Stone

Quotes 

• Ray Verrine : Mr. Stone, are you now or have you ever been a homosexual communist? Are you or have you, Mr. Stone?

  Guy Stone : Yes.

  Ray Verrine : And are you personally aware of others, like yourself, working in the motion picture industry?

  Guy Stone : Yes, I am.

  Ray Verrine : Please state their names for the record.

  Guy Stone : I am what you say, and so are many of my peers. So what?

  Ray Verrine : I just need their names, Mr. Stone.

  Guy Stone : This is the only way I can help you, Ray. Because movies, for all their cornball reactionary idiocy, show us life as it might be, if only we could live up to our ideals. Movie characters are honest, and loyal, and brave. They sacrifice themselves for those they love. They are proud of the qualities that make them individuals. They stand up for what's right, no matter the odds, or consequences. Movie characters, in short, would not care who plays them. But I guess there's a reason we pay money to see people like that. In a way I wish I could give you 10 million names today, because then 10 million people could stop hiding and living in fear. And the rest of you would discover wonderful new sides to people you thought you knew. But I can't do that Mr. Verrine, because the main trait that separates my kind from yours is that we mean you no harm. When you can say the same about yourself, you will have earned the privilege of knowing our names.

• Jerry : I am not a lesbian.

  Guy Stone : Yes, and Agnes Moorhead is just a tomboy.

• Guy Stone : You're like a lesbian trapped in a gay man's body.

• Guy Stone : Um, what do you do for fun?

  Sally : Watch Guy Stone movies.

  Guy Stone : Really? Me too.

  Sally : Oh, and I'm taking an acting class from the prestigious Tom Hertz.

  Guy Stone : Ah, Tom, sure.

  Sally : You take from him?

  Guy Stone : Sometimes I'm the student, sometimes I'm the teacher. So, you wanna be an actress?

  Sally : Oh, gosh, no. Actresses are whores.

• Jerry : [picks up phone, knows that it's Guy calling again:]  You CAN'T get out of the marriage.

  Guy Stone : Jerry! She is destroying my house, Jerry. She's giving away my things and she's always hovering with a tray of this God-awful lemonade.

  Jerry : Your "Ben-Hur" contract stipulates TWELVE MONTHS of matrimony.

  Guy Stone : I'm not going to make it Jerry. Where we're at home... she takes advantage.

  Jerry : What? You slept with her? What was it like?

  Guy Stone : Terrible! She's a total "bottom."

• Guy Stone : [trying to hurry Sally out the door:]  Now you mustn't be late for Bernice.

  Sally : I hate her stupid women's group. Barbara Stanwyck is such a bully. And that Edith Head...

  [shudders a bit] 

  Sally : just stares at me.

• Victor : [clearing Rick's plate:]  Finished, sir?

  Rick Foster : Yes. It's "Rick."

  Guy Stone : No, let him call you "sir," otherwise he blows his paycheck on escorts.

• Guy Stone : How can they call it a mine when everything is theirs?

• Guy Stone : [at breakfast, looking at his toast:]  There isn't any butter on this, is there?

  Victor : There hasn't been a stick of butter in this house since you dragged that trainee milkman upstairs.

• Guy Stone : What's the point of being famous if you can't use it to get laid?

• Viola : [a prostitute, seeing Guy drive up, before she recognizes him:]  Hey, baby, you wanna -

  [recognizes him, smirks] 

  Viola : oh, never mind.

  Guy Stone : Evening, Viola. How's business?

  Viola : Three so far today.

  Guy Stone : Amateur.

• Moron #1 : [seeing Guy and Rick walk down an alley]  Look, look, look! It's the, uh, movie queens!

  Moron #2 : Hey, Guy "fag", you wanna suck on this?

  Guy Stone : Ok, how hard is "Gay" Stone?

• Guy Stone : We're both gay.

  Rick Foster : Custom dictates we have sex now.

• Rick Foster : I don't mess around on the first date.

  Guy Stone : Are you sure you're gay?

• Guy Stone : You know why they call it 'freedom'? Because nobody's free. And that's dumb.