American Chopper: The Series (2002–2020)

Michael Teutul: Self

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Paul Sr. : Mikey, get your fat ass upstairs and find my drill bits.

  Mikey : I want you to apologize for calling me fat.

  Paul Sr. : I apologize for calling you fat. Now get your fat ass up there and find my fuckin' bits!

• Paul Sr. : That seat's gonna look ridiculous with just a picture of me on it.

  Mikey : Well who the hell sent him a picture of just you?

  Paul Jr. : It's gonna look ridiculous.

  Mikey : I don't care. Every time I sit on it, I'll just... I'll fart.

• Mikey : Dad, I'm here to kick your ass!

  Paul Sr. : Oh yeah, why me?

  Mikey : 'Cuz I'm STRESSED.

• [Debating a detail on the Fireman's Bike...] 

  Mikey : You guys want me to hold it on there while you fight about it?

  Paul Sr. : [laughing]  You know why you're here? You really know? To make me laugh. That's the only reason you're here.

  Mikey : Ok. So, let's get this fuckin' bike together!

• Mikey : You know, everybody gives me a problem about the grinder being face up and they think my middle name is "safety". But it's not... It's "danger". No, I'm kidding... It's "Joseph".

• [after watching his beloved Nissan being trashed by the guys] 

  Mikey : That car has lasted nine years... longer than any relationship with a girl I ever had.

• Paul Sr. : Where's my bits!

  Mikey : This is an ongoing saga with you, isn't it?

• Paul Sr. : You're not happy unless you're gettin' me aggravated!

  Mikey : Well, you're not happy unless you're aggravated.

• [Commenting on his lumberjacking skills] 

  Mikey : I'm not really a lumberjack... I'm a lazy ass.

• Mikey : Where's my motorcycle, Daddy?

  Paul Sr. : Ha ha ha ha ha...

  Mikey : You don't love me.

• Mikey : [on the radio to Campo to get the trailer keys]  Campo... We're Pissed... You Key-Hordin' Pixie!

• Mikey : [in the UK, Sr. is riding the clutch trying to drive on the opposite side of the road and drawing attention]  From London!