I Heart Huckabees (2004)

Richard Jenkins: Mr. Hooten

Quotes 

• Mr. Hooten : God gave us oil! He gave it to us! How can God's gift be bad?

  Tommy Corn : I don't know. He gave you a brain too and you messed that up pretty damn good.

  Mr. Hooten : I want you sons of bitches out of my house now!

  Tommy Corn : If Hitler were alive, he'd tell you not to think about oil.

  Mrs. Hooten : *You're* the Hitler! We took a Sudanese refugee into our home!

  Tommy Corn : You did. But how did Sudan happen, ma'am? Could it possibly be related to dictatorships that we support for some stupid reason?

  Mr. Hooten : You shut up! You get out!

  Tommy Corn : You shut up.

  [to Albert] 

  Tommy Corn : Come on. Let's get out of here.

• Mrs. Hooten : Albert, what brought you to the philosophical club?

  Albert Markovski : You mean the existential detectives?

  Mr. Hooten : Sounds like a support group.

  Cricket : Why can't he use the church?

  Mrs. Hooten : Sometimes, people have additional questions to be answered.

  Cricket : Like what?

  Albert Markovski : Well, um, for instance: if the forms of this world die, which is more real, the me that dies or the me that's infinite? Can I trust my habitual mind, or do I need to learn to look beneath those things?

  Mr. Hooten : Sounds like we got a philosopher.

• Mr. Hooten : Do you have a job, Tom?

  Tommy Corn : I'm a firefighter.

  Mrs. Hooten : Oh, God bless *you*! A hero!

  Tommy Corn : I'm not a hero. We'd all be heroes if we quit using petroleum, though.

• Mr. Hooten : What happened to the cat, Albert?

  Albert Markovski : How'd you know about my cat?

  Mr. Hooten : The cat was killed by curiosity.

  Albert Markovski : Oh, right, that cat.

• Mr. Hooten : Stevo, I'm so disappointed.

  Mrs. Hooten : It's all right. Look, he's sad. He's sad.

  Mr. Hooten : I'm sorry Stevo. My bad. You didn't know.

  Tommy Corn : You should be ashamed of yourself.

  Mr. Hooten : I should be what?

  Tommy Corn : You should be ashamed of yourself.

  Mr. Hooten : And why's that? Why whould I be ashamed of myself?

  Tommy Corn : You're a hypocrite.

  Mr. Hooten : I'm a what?

  Tommy Corn : You're misleading these children. 'Cause you're the destroyer, man.

  Mr. Hooten : How am I the destroyer?

  Tommy Corn : I saw that S.U.V. out there.

  Mr. Hooten : My car's the destroyer? You wanna know how many miles per gallon I get?

• Mr. Hooten : Hey, I don't want to hear it again or there will be no internet tonight.