Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

Billy Crystal: Calcifer

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after Sofi puts a pan and bacon on Calcifer] 

  Calcifer : Here's another curse for you - may all your bacon burn.

• Howl : This war is terrible, they bomb from the southern coast to the northern border. It's all in flames now.

  Calcifer : I can't stand the fire and gunpowder. Those dopey guys have absolutely no manners.

  Howl : My own kind attacked me today.

  Calcifer : Who? The Witch of the Wastes?

  Howl : No, some hack wizards who turned themselves into monsters for the king.

  Calcifer : Those wizards are going to regret doing that. They'll never change back into humans.

  Howl : After the war, they won't recall they ever were human.

• Old Sophie : All right Calcifer, let's get cooking.

  Calcifer : I don't cook! I'm a scary and powerful fire demon!

• Young Sophie : They say that the best blaze burns brightest when circumstances are at their worst.

  Calcifer : Yeah, but no one really believes that. Come on, let's be honest.

• Howl : The Witch of the Waste and Madame Suliman's dog at my table? What possessed you to let them in my house?

  Calcifer : I didn't let them in here! Sophie crash landed her plane into my face!

  Howl : [laughs] 

  Old Sophie : Hmph!

  Howl : I knew she'd make a great pilot!

• Howl : [Quietly amused]  Calcifer? You're being so obedient.

  Calcifer : Not on purpose! She bullied me!

  Howl : Not just anybody can do that.

  [Looks at Sophie] 

  Howl : And you are... who?

  Old Sophie : Er, you can just call me Grandma Sophie. I'm your new cleaning lady. I just started work today.

• Howl : Calcifer, move the castle sixty miles west.

  [walks away] 

  Howl : And while you're at it, make hot water for my bath.

  Calcifer : Fine, like moving the castle isn't hard enough!

• Howl : You didn't have to come back, Calcifer.

  Calcifer : Yeah, I kinda missed you guys, and it looks like it's gonna rain.

  Young Sophie : I missed you too, Calcifer.

• Young Sophie : Calcifer.

  Calcifer : Sophie, I'm so tired.

  Young Sophie : If I give Howl back his heart, what will happen to you?

  Calcifer : I'll be okay if you do it, I think. I mean, you dumped water on me and Howl and we both survived.

  Young Sophie : I'd better try then.

• [to Howl] 

  Calcifer : You shouldn't keep flying around like that. Soon you won't be able to turn back into a human.

• [Sophie removes Calcifer from the hearth] 

  Calcifer : No, no, no! Don't do this! Help! Help! Crazy lady with the shovel! If you kick me out that door, the castle could collapse!

  Young Sophie : Good!

• Old Sophie : Are you the one moving this castle?

  Calcifer : Of course I am! No one else does any work around here.

• Old Sophie : Do you know what Madame Suliman said? She said that Howl's heart was stolen by a demon. Tell me now, what do you know?

  Calcifer : I'm so sorry but that would be confidential information.

• Young Sophie : A heart burns like a blue flame.

  Calcifer : But it's still the heart of a child.

• Howl : Markl, make sure the cleaning lady doesn't get carried away while I'm gone.

  Markl : Sophie, what did you do now?

  [Sophie shrugs] 

  Calcifer : She almost smothered me! If I die, Howl dies too, I hope you know.

• Howl : I'm tired, make some hot water for my bath.

  Calcifer : Not again!