Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktakular (2003 TV Movie)

Garry Chalk: Harry the Werewolf, Bug-a-Boo

Quotes 

• [Scary Godmother's doorbell rings] 

  Scary Godmother : I'll get it! How do I look?

  Skully Pettibone : Mm, frightful!

  Scary Godmother : You're too kind.

  [opens the door to reveal Harry the Werewolf] 

  Hannah Marie : Ahh! A Monster!

  [hides behind a chair] 

  Scary Godmother : [aside to Skully]  Only to his mother.

  [to Hannah Marie] 

  Scary Godmother : It's just Harry. Hi Harry, come on in.

  Harry the Werewolf : [enters the room]  Thank you Scary Godmother, I don't mind if I do.

• Harry the Werewolf : [enters the party]  Mm, where are those wonderful smells emanating from? The goody-plate I believe. You won't mind if I just sample the delicacies do you?

  Skully Pettibone : [hits Harry on the head with a rolled-up newspaper]  No! Down boy! Last year you devastated the entire buffet before the other guests even arrived!

  Harry the Werewolf : [offended]  How dare you sir! I come to the party to enjoy the company of good...

  Skully Pettibone : [holds a cookie in front of Harry, mesmerizing him]  Now, sit.

  [Harry reluctantly does] 

  Skully Pettibone : [holds out a hand]  Good boy. Shake.

  [Harry shakes Skully's hand] 

  Skully Pettibone : Now, roll over.

  Harry the Werewolf : [rolls his eyes]  Oh please.

  Skully Pettibone : Roll over.

  Harry the Werewolf : I will not degrade myself.

  Skully Pettibone : [spins the cookie around Harry's head]  Over.

  [Harry falls to the ground and tries to roll over but fails due to his girth] 

  Skully Pettibone : Good boy, here.

  [tosses Harry the cookie] 

  Skully Pettibone : Now, no more until everyone else arrives and you'll be lucky to get that.

  Harry the Werewolf : [gets up, mad]  Oo and you'll be lucky if I don't bury your femur in the backyard you scoundrel!

• [Hannah Marie and Orson accidentally crash into Skully and Harry in the kitchen, causing Skully to toss his goody plate and Harry to start losing his balance backwards. Harry takes advantage of this by preparing to catch the goodies with his mouth, but instead he bangs into the cupboards and a bottle lands in his mouth] 

  Harry the Werewolf : [after drinking the bottle's contents]  Hey, I can talk again!

  [Skully's skull lands on Harry's chest] 

  Skully Pettibone : [sarcastically]  Be still my beating rib cage.

• [Hannah Marie sees Bug-a-Boo for the first time and starts screaming, causing Bug-a-Boo to automatically scream back. Hannah Marie then stops to catch her breath] 

  Scary Godmother : It's okay! It's okay Hannah, take a deep breath...

  [Hannah Marie takes a deep breath... and goes right back to screaming] 

  Bug-a-Boo : If I start scaring kids after hours I'm gonna put in for overtime.

• [Hannah Marie is running away from Bug-a-Boo with fear, when she sees her Trick-Or-Treat bag] 

  Hannah Marie : My flashlight! That'll save me.

  [Grabs her flashlight] 

  Hannah Marie : Take that!

  [Shines it in Bug-a-Boo's face] 

  Bug-a-Boo : [skids to a halt; sarcastically]  What are you, a coal miner?

  Hannah Marie : [confused]  But, my dad said...

  Scary Godmother : [covering up]  Uhhh Hannah, flashlights only work on... monsters that hide in your closets, yeah, and, uh, Bug-a-Boo is a monster that hides under your bed.

  Bug-a-Boo : [to Scary Godmother]  Nice cover.

• [Harry is ordering pizza for everyone and Skully asks for extra cheese] 

  Bug-a-Boo : [with Hannah Marie]  Yeah! Extra cheese and olives! Yeah!

  [they high-five each other] 

  Hannah Marie : [looks at Bug-a-boo startled]  You? You eat pizza with cheese and olives?

  Bug-a-Boo : Yeah I like olives, so?

  Hannah Marie : I thought monsters ate little girls.

  Bug-a-Boo : Aw that's silly, little girls get the crust all soggy.

  [Hannah Marie looks at him horrified] 

  Bug-a-Boo : [laughs]  Just joking kid. It's my job to scare kids, not eat 'em. If I went around eating all the clients, I'd be out of work!

• Count Max : [complaining about the changing fashions]  One century it is corsets and bustles and the next thing you know...

  Skully Pettibone : It's platforms and mini-skirts?

  Count Max : [snaps fingers]  Exactly!

  Harry the Werewolf : [wakes up]  Oh. So, as I was saying- Oo, snacks.

  Count Max : [facepalms]  Doh!

  Harry the Werewolf : [tries to eat a treat, but is stopped by a glaring Skully]  What? Dancing always makes me peckish.

• [Hannah Marie has brought up her cousin Jimmy, who told her lies about monsters] 

  Harry the Werewolf : [clears his throat]  While I'm sure this Jimmy-slash-monster discussion is imperative to the plot, can we get back to something that is really important? Like ordering pizza?

  Scary Godmother : [warningly]  Harry, we haven't forgotten who inhaled the boo-fet.

  [Everyone glares at Harry] 

  Harry the Werewolf : Touche. Point well taken.

  [pause] 

  Harry the Werewolf : Socially awkward pause...

  [holds up the phone] 

  Harry the Werewolf : I'll phone this in.

• Scary Godmother : [uses her magic to grab Harry, who tried to make off with all the pizza]  You! You have wrecked my snack table, insulted my broommates, made a mess of my house, and stuck me for twelve pizzas. Harry, sometimes you are insensitive, boorish, and you just have plain lousy table manners.

  Harry the Werewolf : [pleadingly as everyone else starts taking the pizza boxes]  Oh please, I'll do anything!

  Scary Godmother : I know you will Harry. You'll help me in the pumpkin patch, you'll knit spiderwebs, clean the tombs... Oh yes, you'll probably have tonight paid off by Halloween next year. Enjoy your pizza.

  [lets him go with only one box of pizza left] 

  Harry the Werewolf : [looks away from the pizza]  It's turned to ashes in my mouth.

  Skully Pettibone : Oh, that's mine then. I had half-ashes half-green pepper.

  [takes the pizza away]