The Whole Ten Yards (2004)
Bruce Willis: Jimmy
Photos
Quotes
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Lazlo : You killed my Strabo.
Jimmy Tudeski : Actually, Strabonitz was already dead. He got shot when your hitter tried to shoot us.
Lazlo : [looks at Julie] Is this true?
Julie : Hey, Lazlo. Shit happens, all right?
Lazlo : Oh, yeah? Watch this shit happen.
[He grabs Jill's gun hand and shoots Julie]
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Jill : [refering to Jimmy's crucifix] Where did he get it, Oz?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I don't know.
[in a flash, Jill is holding the point of a knife to his Adam's apple]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [very fast] It's Cynthia's; she got it from her grandmother when she was a child, and Cynthia gave it to Jimmy for good luck on hits.
Jimmy Tudeski : [grabs Oz by the throat] You say you're not a squealer! Huh?
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Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [hears and sees Jimmy shooting bullets at him] Jimmy! Jimmy, don't shoot! It's me, it's Oz!
Jimmy Tudeski : I know.
[shoots at him again]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : OK, that almost hit me!
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[Jimmy, Oz, and Cynthia are Lazlo's prisoners; Jill, outside, has Lazlo's son hostage]
Lazlo : [shouting] Where's my son?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : All right, that's it!
Cynthia : Oz...
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : No, I've had enough!
[suddenly tough]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : If you ever want to see your son again, you'll let us go right now.
Lazlo : Is that right?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Yeah, that's right! And if we're not out of here by 11:00, Jill's gonna put one in Strabo's forehead. Just like Jimmy put one in Janni's forehead. Oh... it wasn't pretty.
Lazlo : [enraged] Give me a gun.
Jimmy Tudeski : [impressed] Not bad, Oz.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Thanks.
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Jimmy Tudeski : [catchs Oz and a topless Jill holding each other] What's all this?
[look to Oz]
Jimmy Tudeski : First my ex-wife, now my wife-wife.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : No, no, no! She just hated her outfit.
Jimmy Tudeski : Come here.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [to Jill] I think he wants to talk to you for a minute.
Jimmy Tudeski : [points at Oz] No, you.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Oh.
[Jimmy grabs Oz and throws him against the wall]
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Jimmy Tudeski : [to Oz] Squeal bag! Squealster! Remington Squeal!
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Jimmy Tudeski : Oh no! Look it! Blanche!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Who's Blanche?
Jimmy Tudeski : Consuelo! Xerxes! Alert the others! There's been a tragedy!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Who's Blanche?
Jimmy Tudeski : This is Blanche. You killed her.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I'm sorry.
Jimmy Tudeski : Go home, Oz. Go home before something bad happens.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Something bad already has happened; Cynthia's been kidnapped!
Jimmy Tudeski : Blanche, put down in her prime...
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : He names his chickens! You name your chickens?
[Jimmy runs away crying]
Jimmy Tudeski : WAAAHHHH! Blanche! You're DEAD!
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Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : So this is how a retired mass murderer acts.
Jimmy Tudeski : No. This is how a retired mass murderer acts when people show up uninvited for dinner!
[grabs Oz by the throat]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Noted.
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Jimmy Tudeski : [Jill points a gun at him] You don't have the balls.
Jill : Ha. This coming from a guy who rarely gets it up.
Cynthia : That's funny. He never had that problem with me.
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Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Hell, you were shooting at me in Mexico. Was that all part of the plan?
Jimmy Tudeski : As a matter of fact. It was. Yeah.
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Jimmy Tudeski : Stay away from my chickens, Oz.
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Jimmy Tudeski : If you ever grab me like that again, I will stick a knife in your face.
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Jimmy Tudeski : Do unto others before you're turned into a pillar of salt.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : A pillar of salt?
Jimmy Tudeski : Yeah. Moses said that. Read the bible, Oz!
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Jimmy Tudeski : [Talking to Lazlo while getting shot at] Did you hire a hitter?
Lazlo : I can't really remember. Why? Is somebody shooting at you?
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Jimmy Tudeski : [referring to Lazlo] Jill, tie him up!
Jill : What am I gonna tie him up for? I'm gonna kill him!
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[from trailer]
Jimmy Tudeski : You refused to follow the ABCs of professional killing!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : There's an actual ABC for professional killing?
Jimmy Tudeski : Shut up!
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Jill : For two years I have been begging you to go back to work and then when Cynthia gets kidnapped, you're off to the races.
Jimmy Tudeski : Off to the races?
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Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [after Oz wakes up naked in a bed with Jimmy] What the hell happened last night? And why does my ass hurt?
Jimmy Tudeski : You fell down a flight of stairs.
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Strabo : [after seeing Jimmy and Oz in a bed together] A little male bonding?
Jimmy Tudeski : Just like C-Block, huh, Strabo?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [in the background] I fell down the stairs, Strabo!
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Jimmy Tudeski : You know I was a bedwetter?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : You don't do it anymore, do you?
Jimmy Tudeski : When I was 12 I saw my father naked in a shower.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Well, that's probably why you wet the bed. Very Freudian. Jungian.
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Jimmy Tudeski : What is this?
[referring to a tower of glasses on the table]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : It's what we've been building for the last few hours.
Jimmy Tudeski : Well, get it out of here!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Why?
Jimmy Tudeski : Because I hate it! It makes me sad.
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Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I don't think God keeps an eye on your sperm. What kind of job is that for God? It'd take him all day. I'm gonna throw up.
Jimmy Tudeski : [later] Did you have a good relationship with your father?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Yeah, we were like pals.
Jimmy Tudeski : I wanna to kill my father. I want to take a icepick and stick it right in his eyeball.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Still gonna throw up.
Jimmy Tudeski : We had some great times though.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : You and your father?
Jimmy Tudeski : No. Me and Cynthia.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [burps] That's almost vomit.
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Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Why don't you just consider adopting.
Jimmy Tudeski : Come on, Oz, how many adoption agencies are gonna give a kid to a professional killer.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : You may have a point there.
Jimmy Tudeski : Maybe I could just steal a kid. They're small. How hard can that be?