- Vince Russo: [to a fan holding a sign saying "Russo's a Virgin"] I think you're mom will disagree with that.
- Mike Tenay: What would you rather see? A classic wrestling match between the likes of Flair and Steamboat, or a midget jerking off in a garbage can?
- Don West: He hit it perfectly!
- Jeff Jarrett: I learned a hard lesson. In order to be a success in this business, you have to be a selfish son of a bitch. Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, Dusty Rhodes, they're all selfish. So when I heard Hulh Hogan was planning to come to TNA, I decided to bring TNA straight to him. No-one is gonna take my glory! No one is gonna take my title!
- Raven: Be my partner. Come on, trust me. I've never screwed you before.
- The Sandman: What? You've never screwed me before? You kidnapped and brainwashed my wife and son! Whadda you mean, you've never screwed me before?
- Monty Brown: I didn't come here to fight an antelope like Don Harris, or a gazelle like Chris Vaughn. I am the alpha male, this is my hunting ground and I am after big game. It's not duck season, it's not rabbit season, it's OPEN season on anyone who gets in my way!
- Mike Tenay: Look out, Monty!
- [screaming as Elix Skipper prepares to throw yellow paint on Monty Brown]
- Mike Tenay: Just look at that wide smirk on Scott D'Amore's face.
- Don West: It looks more like a shit eating grin if you ask me.