Jackass: The Movie (2002)
Johnny Knoxville: Self
Photos
Quotes
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Johnny Knoxville : I was Lon Chaney's lover!
Shopkeeper : Go back and love him!
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Angry Golfer : [after disturbing a golf game with an air horn] Didn't I tell you I was going to come over here and kick your ass for that?
Johnny Knoxville : But... I'm sorry. I got bursitis.
Angry Golfer : You got bursitis?
Johnny Knoxville : Yeah.
Angry Golfer : So that means you gotta play with a horn?
Johnny Knoxville : It helps.
Angry Golfer : I'll give you something to play with, pal!
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Johnny Knoxville : Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that.
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Johnny Knoxville : Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?
Dave England : No, no. I shit my pants at the fair.
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Johnny Knoxville : [after being beat up by Butterbean] Is Butterbean OK?
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Johnny Knoxville : [dazed, holding head after golf cart accident] I don't know what happened. I just remember we went in the air and the next thing I know, I'm just... fucked.
Bam Margera : Dude, you were hauling so much ass!
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Johnny Knoxville : That had bad news written all over it.
Bam Margera : Dunn can't drive for shit!
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Johnny Knoxville : [opening line] Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to "Jackass"!
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Johnny Knoxville : Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville and we're about to test my Rocket Skates.
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Johnny Knoxville : I think I'm a little concussed.
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Johnny Knoxville : [laughing at Dave England who has soiled himself] Oh shit, I'm taking a cab back to the hotel!
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Johnny Knoxville : [giving off camera direction to Jason Acuna] Kick yourself in the head, wee man.
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April Margera : [fanning blankets in bed] I'm helping you, are you OK?
Johnny Knoxville : [under blankets, clearly suffering] No, you're just wafting Phil's ass in my nose!
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Johnny Knoxville : Do you have a pocket ass?
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Johnny Knoxville : [after returning the smashed up car] But I returned it with a full tank of gas.
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Johnny Knoxville : [referring to firework going off] That almost hit Loomis in the face!
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Johnny Knoxville : What's the quickest you've ever knocked anyone out?
Butterbean : I hold, like, a California state record's like 18 seconds including the ten-count.
Johnny Knoxville : I think you're gonna break that today.
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Johnny Knoxville : There's no such thing as failure, Steve-O!... One thing I know, is good tightrope walking!
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Johnny Knoxville : You little bastard!
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[Johnny Knoxville returns the badly damaged rental car]
Rental car attendant : Whose car is this?
Johnny Knoxville : This is your guy's car. I rented it from you earlier.
Rental car attendant : Yes... What?
Johnny Knoxville : Yeah, I hit a dog.
Rental car attendant : A dog isn't gonna do all that.
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Jeff Tremaine : This one's gonna be a little more powerful than the last one, so...
Johnny Knoxville : Why? These are different bottle rockets?
Jeff Tremaine : No, there's just more of them.
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Johnny Knoxville : Is Butterbean okay?
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Johnny Knoxville : I fell and busted my ass, that's what's fuckin' wrong!
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Johnny Knoxville : What's wrong, man?
Lance Bangs : I had to sit there while he shat!
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Johnny Knoxville : [opening narration] WARNING - The stunts in this movie were performed by professionals, so for your safety and the protection of those around you, do *not* attemp any of the stunts you're about to see.
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Johnny Knoxville : [to Steve O] Go grab the dead kitty!
[later, in disbelief after Steve O exits the poo river]
Johnny Knoxville : You're not going to save the kitty?
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Johnny Knoxville : That was my flesh!
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Johnny Knoxville : [to jewel burglary victim] I was barely halfway through the ceiling and you were already out the door!
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Johnny Knoxville : This is the Muscle Simulator.
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Johnny Knoxville : I have bad news written all over me.
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Ryan Dunn : If I do your hand, you'll forget about the pain in your foot.
Johnny Knoxville : That's a good point.
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Johnny Knoxville : I'm here with Eric Koston and Clyde Singleton and today I'm gonna 50-50 this rail and... or try to.