Elf (2003)
Will Ferrell: Buddy
Photos
Quotes
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Buddy : [thinking Miles is an elf] Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here?
Miles Finch : Hey, jackweed, I get more action in a week than you've had in your entire life. I've got houses in L.A., Paris and Vail. In each one, a 70 inch plasma screen. So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face before I come over there and SMACK it off! You feeling strong, my friend? Call me elf one more time.
Buddy : [after a pause] He's an angry elf.
[Miles promptly attacks him]
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Buddy : [whispering to the department store Santa] You sit on a throne of lies!
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Santa : I've been to New York thousands of times.
Buddy : Really?
Santa : Mm-hmm.
Buddy : What's it like?
Santa : Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there. It isn't free candy.
Buddy : Oh.
Santa : Second, there are, like, thirty Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original. But the real one's on 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show", that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.
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Buddy : We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.
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Buddy : [Confused] Who the heck are you?
Gimbel's Santa : What are you talkin' about? I'm Santa Claus.
Buddy : No, you're not.
Gimbel's Santa : Uh, why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Buddy : Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
Gimbel's Santa : Um, Happy Birthday of course. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. How old are you son?
Kid with Santa : Four.
Gimbel's Santa : You're a big boy. What's your name?
Kid with Santa : Paul.
Gimbel's Santa : Now what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy : Paul, don't tell him what you want, he's a liar.
Gimbel's Santa : Let the kid talk.
Buddy : You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?
Gimbel's Santa : Just cool it, Zippy.
Buddy : You sit on a throne of lies.
Gimbel's Santa : Look, I'm not kiddin'.
Buddy : You're a fake.
Gimbel's Santa : I'm a fake?
Buddy : Yes!
Gimbel's Santa : How'd you like to be dead, huh? Ho, ho, just kidding.
Buddy : You stink.
Gimbel's Santa : I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
Buddy : You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa.
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Buddy : [as he is hit by a snowball] SON of a NUTcracker!
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Gimbel's Manager : [Sees Buddy smiling] Why are you smiling like that?
Buddy : I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite.
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Buddy : The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
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Buddy : [reading the note he left on the etch-a-sketch] "I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR."
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Buddy : [phone rings, Buddy picks it up] Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?
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[excitedly enters a shop with neon sign: World's Best Cup of Coffee]
Buddy : You did it! Congratulations! "World's Best Cup of Coffee." Great job, everybody. It's great to meet you.
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Buddy : SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA'S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!
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Buddy : Have you seen these toilets? They're GINORMOUS!
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[Buddy sees the mail room for the first time]
Buddy : This place reminds me of Santa's Workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.
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Buddy : It's just nice to meet another human that shares my affinity for elf culture.
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Buddy : Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.
Jovie : No way.
Buddy : The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Jovie : Thanks, but I don't sing.
Buddy : Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
Jovie : I *can* sing, I just choose *not* to sing. Especially in front of other people.
Buddy : If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
Jovie : Actually, there's a BIG difference.
Buddy : No there's not. Wait...
[Starts singing loud and off-key]
Buddy : I'm singing/I'm in a store/and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!/I'm in a store/and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!
Gimbel's Manager : HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
Buddy : Yes there is!
Gimbel's Manager : No there's not!
Buddy : We sing all the time!
Gimbel's Manager : No you don't!
Buddy : Especially when we build toys!
[Back to Jovie]
Buddy : See?
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Gimbel's Manager : [showing Buddy around the floor] This, is the North Pole.
Buddy : No it isn't.
Gimbel's Manager : Yes it is.
Buddy : No it isn't.
Gimbel's Manager : Yes it is!
Buddy : No it's not. Where's the snow?
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Buddy : You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa.
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Buddy : Watch out, the yellow ones don't stop!
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Buddy : [out of breath from chasing Michael] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?...
Michael : Go away!
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Buddy : Francisco! That's fun to say! Francisco... Frannncisco... Franciscooo...
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Buddy : I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.
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Buddy : Reach out in front of you and take a sip. Don't look.
[Jovie sips the coffee and makes a yuck face]
Buddy : Well?
Jovie : It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee.
[Buddy chuckles as she removes the blindfold]
Jovie : It IS a crappy cup of coffee.
Buddy : No, it's the world's BEST cup of coffee.
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Buddy : What about Santa's cookies? I suppose parents eat those too?
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Buddy : [to man on elevator] Oh, I forgot to give you a hug.
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Gimbel's Manager : There's no singing in the North Pole.
Buddy : Yes there is.
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Ming Ming : It's alright, Buddy. Just how many Etch-A-Sketches did you get finished?
[Buddy is silent]
Ming Ming : Come on, Buddy, how many?
Buddy : I made, uh... 85.
[elves stop working, stare in surprise]
Ming Ming : [observes elves, turns back to Buddy] 85? That puts you... 915 off the pace.
[shrugs]
Buddy : Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy-maker in the world. I'm a Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins!
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Mr. Narwhal : Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad.
Buddy : Thanks, Mr. Narwhal.
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[Being beaten up by a dwarf he thinks is an elf]
Buddy : He's an *angry* elf!
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Buddy : Good news! I saw a dog today!
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Buddy : I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands.
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Puffin : Hey Buddy wanna pick some snowberries?
Buddy : Not now Arctic Puffin!
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Buddy : [after getting beat up by Miles Finch] He must be a South Pole elf.
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[Buddy is pressing the elevator buttons at the same time]
Buddy : It looks like a Christmas tree.
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Buddy : My finger has a heartbeat.
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Leon the Snowman : Why the long face, Buddy?
Buddy : It seems I'm not an elf.
Leon the Snowman : Of course you're not an elf. You're six-foot-three and had a beard since you were fifteen.
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Buddy : [to the doctor] Can I listen to your necklace?
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Buddy : [to the racoon] Does somebody need a hug?
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Buddy : I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
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Leon the Snowman : By the way, don't eat the yellow snow.
Buddy : Oh, I know that.
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Buddy : [after getting off an elevator with a man] Oh, I forgot to give you a hug!
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Buddy : First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.
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Buddy : [quickly, and high pitched] i love you. i love you! I LOVE YOU!
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Walter : [Buddy had just caused Walter to lose a client] You get the hell out of here.
Buddy : Where do you want me to go?
Walter : [Getting Angry] I don't care where you go.
[Angry]
Walter : I don't care that you're an elf!
[Angry]
Walter : I don't care that you're nuts!
[Really angry]
Walter : I don't care that you're my son!
[Furious]
Walter : Get out of my life! Now!
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Buddy : So, how'd you get here?
Mailroom Guy : Work release.
Buddy : Mm...
[Mailroom Guy pours liquor, which Buddy mistakes for maple syrup, into his coffee]
Buddy : Oh, syrup and coffee? Why didn't I think of that - can I try some?
Mailroom Guy : Be my guest.
Buddy : Very generous of you. Mm...
[Buddy empties the whole bottle into his coffee, to Mailroom Guy's bewilderment]
Buddy : I love syrup. Oh, love it.
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Buddy : I'm sorry that I ruined your lives and crammed eleven cookies in the VCR. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. I'll never forget you. Love, Buddy.
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[Buddy burps loudly]
Buddy : Did you hear that?
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Buddy : That's shocking!
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Buddy : Sorry, sorry. I think your car is pretty.
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Miles Finch : [Buddy has just innocently called Miles an 'elf' because of his stature, and Miles is clearly very offended, and daring him] Call me an elf.
Buddy : You're an elf!
[Miles attacks Buddy]
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Mr. Narwhal : Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad!
Buddy : Thanks, Mr. Narwhal.
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Buddy : [43:16] I traveled through the seven levels of the candy cane forest past the sea of swirly twirly gumdrops. And then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel
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Gimbel's Manager : Okay, people! Tomorrow morning! 10AM! Santa's Coming to Town!
Buddy : SANTAAA! OH MY GOD! SANTA Here? I know him! I know him!
