Everwood (2002–2006)

Nora Zehetner: Laynie Hart

Quotes 

• Laynie : Happy people depress me. Drunk, happy people make me want to slit my wrists.

• Laynie Hart : You looked so uncomfortable the other day. Like I embarrassed you or something.

  Ephram : Look, I'm gonna mess up because that's just what I do. But at least give me a chance to mess up. I mean, I'm capable of such stupidity that you'd be wasting my talent by ending this now.

• Laynie Hart : I hate that the egg rolls at Gino Chang's smell like lasagna.

  Ephram : I hate that everything's a fest. Thaw fest, fly fest, pie fest. What does that even mean? What's so festive about catching a fish or watching a guy melt?

  Laynie Hart : I hate that they call it "Main Street" even though it's pretty much the only one. Why don't they just call it "Street"?

  Ephram : Do you have a subway map of another city covering one of the walls in your room?

  Laynie Hart : Do you pick colleges based on how far away they are from here?

  Ephram : Have you ever had that dream where you're trapped in a sewer for life, and you wake up and you're disappointed that you're still in Everwood?

  Laynie Hart : Do you have a packed bag and a plane ticket in your room?

  Ephram : Oh come on.

  Laynie Hart : You don't believe me? I'll show you!

  Ephram : No, I believe you. I've kept the bag around for a while, I just haven't gotten around to buying the ticket yet.

• Laynie : Nightmare, isn't it?

  Ephram : What's going on, except my exact version of 'hell on earth'?

  Laynie : Spoils of war. The result of a commercially financed assault against the unattached individual.

  Ephram : Valentines Day?

  Laynie : Week after is always the hardest. These newbie couples have the lifespan of a monarch butterfly. By Friday, the halls will be littered with their crispy corpses.

• Laynie : I found him after school at the post office hanging around the outbound mail box. I think someone was trying to return him.