Everwood (2002–2006)

Chris Pratt: Bright Abbott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ephram : You know, no offense, but he's really my least favorite thing about you.

  Bright : Yeah, well, you're really my least favorite thing about you.

  Ephram : Dude, you really gotta work on the insults

• Bright : Do you think if aliens would probe you, you'd still be considered a virgin?

• Bright : Hey, I gotta talk to you about something.

  Ephram : What? You got the results back from your IQ test? You failed?

• Bright : Sometimes your pride comes before your nads. Not often, but sometimes.

• Bright : You know, there's a reason men don't wear ruffles.

  Colin : It's not that bad. If this were 1775, you'd be a total chick magnet.

• Bright : Uh, Dad, depending on how many people are there today, do you think I could borrow that rifle to shoot myself?

• [Bright watches the marijuana being brought into the Abbott house] 

  Bright : This is totally great. The dudes at school are not gonna believe this.

• [about being friend with Ephram] 

  Bright : He's not like us, Colin. Trust me, I know him and I know you. It's like ketchup and peanut butter... really bad.

• Amy : What are you wearing to Colin's?

  Bright : Clothes...

• Bright : We were like Mike and Scottie. Only shorter... and whiter.

• [to a girl he's going to get 'lucky' with after he spots his unconscious father] 

  Bright : I have to go help my dad. If I die and don't go to Heaven, I'm gonna be so pissed

• Bright : The way you handled those guys at the party... that was... you were...

  Ephram : Bright, I get it. Eloquence is not your thing.

• Bright : [talking about Hannah, dismayed]  She's not going to have premarital sex until she's *married.*

  Ephram : That's...

  [two beat pause] 

  Ephram : ... never mind.

• Bright : I go where the booty goes.

  [makes a whip noise]