Everwood (2002–2006)

Debra Mooney: Edna Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Andrew Brown : The thing is, I promised Delia I wouldn't go out with her.

  Edna : You also promised Delia a horse. I don't see Mr. Ed galloping around here.

• [Edna has just called Andy a nincompoop for not telling Linda how he feels] 

  Andy : Well, what do you want me to do Edna? I offered to help her yesterday and she didn't want it.

  Edna : You're a grown man with a post graduate degree! Figure it out!

• Doctor Brown : Isn't he supposed to be dead?

  Edna Harper : Yeah, I thought that was a little weird, too.

• Edna : You like Linda, she likes you, and you're both nincompoops who do nothing about it.

• Dr. Linda Abbott : Mom, I'm not putting up my own roadblocks.

  Edna Harper : Well you sure as hell aren't pulling any down.

• [after finding out her daughter has HIV] 

  Edna Harper : Why didn't you tell me?

  Dr. Linda Abbott : Because I didn't want to worry you. Besides, I didn't want the whole town to know.

  Edna Harper : I'm not the whole town.

• Edna Harper : I did pick up a thing or two from my 'rumble in the jungle'. Maybe they'd apply.

  Dr. Andrew Brown : As long as you don't ask the cast to make necklaces out of ears, then, yeah, go for it.

• Doctor Brown : There's someone in my office...

  Edna Harper : Gee, no wonder you brain surgeons make so much money.

• Andy : Besides, you know I-I-I think, you might be overestimating Linda's...

  Edna : I KNOW that girl. I know how she looks when she's excited about something. And for reasons unknown given your complete incompetence in the dating arena, she's excited about you.

• Edna Harper : Well, I guess it finally fell out!

  Irv Harper : What?

  Edna Harper : That stick up his ass!

• Edna Harper : I think he found that stick!

• Edna Harper : Phil Drebbles, Marcus Welby of the paranormal. Phil's just your average guy. Has a repair shop, sells a few cars here and there. Some years back, word gets out: he has predicted Sam and Jenny Hess will have a male child before the year is out. Only everyone knows Jenny can't get pregnant on account of her ovaries were malformed at birth. By St. Patrick's Day, Jenny knew she was pregnant. And around Halloween, Baxter was born. Well, you can imagine. The whole town beat for a path to Phil's repair shop. Finally about eight months or so, he makes the mother of all predictions: a flood is gonna hit Everwood...

  [Dr. Brown chuckles as does Edna] 

  Edna Harper : ...and, well, by now, his word is golden. Everybody packs up, evacuates the town and...

  [Dr. Brown finishes] 

  Dr. Andrew Brown : No flood!

  [Edna chuckles again] 

  Edna Harper : Not a drop. Drought that year as I recall...

• [Linda has just asked her mom to use her truck so she can move her stuff] 

  Edna : Sure, you wouldn't rather take Irv's rifle?

  Linda : Don't tempt me.