The Lion King 1½ (2004 Video)

Nathan Lane: Timon

Photos 

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Quotes 

• [Timon and Pumbaa have found their dream home; Timon is talking to himself, Pumbaa is making a celebration supper] 

  Timon : The monkey was right! We found it! The perfect life!

  Pumbaa : I'll just whip up a little something.

  Timon : He had the perfect name for it, too.

  Pumbaa : Come and get it!

  Timon : [sits at a rock]  Such a wonderful phrase. It had this rhythm. Laduda Ladada.

  Pumbaa : Try this - hot tuna frittata.

  Timon : Hmm. No, that's not it.

  Pumbaa : The spinach armada.

  Timon : Quiet, Pumbaa. I'm trying to think.

  Pumbaa : A spoon of ricotta.

  Timon : Two words.

  Pumbaa : A wormy piccata.

  Timon : Six syllables.

  Pumbaa : Kahuna colada.

  Timon : Twelve letters.

  Pumbaa : A blue enchilada.

  Timon : Rhymes with... .

  Pumbaa : Legumes on a platter.

  Timon : Think, think, think.

  Pumbaa : [poking a dish]  This oughta be hotta.

  Timon : I forget.

  Pumbaa : I gotta lambada!

  [dances right into Timon] 

  Timon : HEY! How can you dance at a time like this? I'm DYIN' here!... . Ooh, sorry about that, pal.

  Pumbaa : Hakuna Matata.

  Timon : ....Come again?

  Pumbaa : Hakuna Matata - It means "no worries". Ah-ohhhh... .

• Timon : Hey Pumbaa, what do you call a hyena with half a brain?

  Pumbaa : [laughs]  Beats me, Timon. What?

  Timon : GIFTED!

• Timon : Well, that worked like a dream.

  Pumbaa : It did?

  Timon : Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?

• Pumbaa : Shall we run for our lives?

  Timon : Oh yes, let's.

  Pumbaa , Timon : AHHHHHHHHHH!

• Mom : Everything the light touches... . belongs to someone else!

  Timon : Funny, I thought you were going in a whole different direction.

• Timon : Who knows why fate led us to little Simba?

  [images of Simba scaring Timon run throughout the scene] 

  Timon : Maybe it was my love of adventure, my innate courage, or my... . Okay! Who's in charge of the freeze-frames?

  Pumbaa : Sorry.

  Timon : Anywho... . Rescuing Simba was a cinch. Then came the real scary part:

  [dramatic music] 

  Timon : Parenthood.

• [Rafiki appears before Timon from a tree] 

  Timon : You! No, no, don't say a word. I know what you're going to say.

  [Imitates Rafiki] 

  Timon : Did you find Hakuna Matata?

  [Normal] 

  Timon : Well, yes, I did! Thank you very much.

  [Laughs] 

  Timon : And I am happy. Happy, happy, deliriously happy.

  [Imitates] 

  Timon : Ho ha ha! I see. Happy, is it? So, if you're so happy, why do you look so miserable?

  [Normal] 

  Timon : Miserable, you say? Why should I be miserable? Oh, I don't know. Maybe my two best pals in the world deserted me. Heh. They - they've headed off on some heroic mission... . My friends... . are gone.

  [Realizes] 

  Timon : And... . my Hakuna Matata went with them!

  Rafiki : [smiles and nods] 

  Timon : [points to his head]  Would you mind?

  [bows his head down] 

  Rafiki : [lightly hits him on the head with his stick] 

  Timon : Ay. Thanks. I'm glad we had this talk.

  [clicks his tongue at Rafiki and runs off screen] 

  Rafiki : [to the audience]  My work here is done.

• Timon : [singing along to opening of "The Lion King"]  What's on the menu? It could be ceviche. It's stinky. Ooh it's Pumbaa.

  Pumbaa : I gotta tell you, Timon, that song always gets me, right here.

  Timon : Yes, Pumbaa. Well, enough of that.

  [fast forwards film with his remote] 

  Pumbaa : Uhh, Timon, what are you doing?

  Timon : I'm fast forwarding to the part where we come in.

  Pumbaa : But you can't go out of order.

  Timon : Au contraire, my porcine pal. I've got the remote.

  Pumbaa : But everyone's gonna get confused.

  [picks up his own remote and rewinds film] 

  Pumbaa : We gotta go back to the beginning of the story.

  Timon : [fast forwarding]  We're not *in* the beginning of the story.

  Pumbaa : [rewinding]  Yes we were, the whole time.

  Timon : [fast forwarding]  Yeah, but they don't know that.

  Pumbaa : [rewinding]  Then, why don't we tell them our story?

  [Film stops during the hyena attack; Timon and Pumbaa are spooked] 

  Timon : Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we tell them our story?

  Pumbaa : Oh, I like the sound of that.

• Timon : [about a familiar log under the moon]  I'm going to get old walking across this thing.

• Timon : Waaait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second.

  Pumbaa : Uh, Timon? What are you doin'?

  Timon : Shenzi Marie Predatora Veldetta Jacquelina Hyena... . would you do me the honor of becoming... . my bride?

  Shenzi : I don't think so!

  Timon : Shenzi Marie, please. I know what you're thinking: "We're too different." "It'll never work." "What will the children look like?"

  Shenzi : Ooh, that violates so many laws of nature.

  Timon : Listen to me! The problems of a couple of wacky kids like us don't amount to hill of termites in this nutty circle-of-life thing. And so I ask you: If not now, when? If not me, who? I'm lonely.

  Pumbaa : Can I be your best man?

  Banzai : I say we skip the wedding, and go straight to the buffet!

• Timon : I am perfectly happy right here. It's remote, private, no unexpected visitors... .

  [the shadows of hyenas march across the wall, as the intro to "Be Prepared" plays] 

  Timon : Something tells me that ain't the traveling company of Riverdance.

• Timon : Ahh... . I love the smell of Pumbaa in the morning.

• Pumbaa : What exactly did he say?

  Timon : [mimicking Rafikki]  Look beyond what you see.

• Timon : [about his species]  We're so low on the food chain we're underground!

• Timon : I'm Timon.

  Pumbaa : Pumbaa.

  Timon : No, really.

• Pumbaa : Good night.

  Timon : Sleep tight.

  Pumbaa : Dream of bedbugs tonight.

• Uncle Max : Timon the sentry? Why don't you save the hyenas the trouble and kill me now? JUST KILL ME NOW!

  Timon : [to Mom]  He has a point.

  Mom : All you have to do is watch for hyenas and yell if you see one. Look at Iron Joe.

  Iron Joe : [camera pans over to Iron Joe]  DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T LOOK AWAY! SOMEBODY'S GONNA GUARD US! SOMEBODY'S GONNA PROTECT US!

  [sobs uncontrollably] 

  Timon : [camera pans over to Timon]  Well, now I'm convinced... .

• Timon : How convenient. Enter omniscient monkey, right on cue.

  Pumbaa : Well, you know what they say: "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."

  Timon : That's it. No more fortune-cookies for you!

• Timon : We can't let them feel the love tonight.

• [Pumbaa, Timon, and Simba are all in a bubbling water hole] 

  Simba : Three pals and no worries, what more could you want?

  [all sigh relaxingly] 

  Pumbaa : [yawns]  Ah, I'm bushed.

  [while getting out of water hole] 

  Pumbaa : I think I'll turn in for the night.

  [bubbles stop] 

  Timon : I'm out!

  Simba : Right behind ya!

• Timon : And so with my spirits high I boldy ventured off where no meerkat had dared to go before. I put my past behind me Ha! and never looked back.

  [sobs hysterically] 

  Timon : Mommy, Mommy! What am I doing? Which way should I go?

• Uncle Max : We're food for other animals! A moveable feast, feared by no-one and eaten by all!

  Timon : But when they die, they become the grass, and we eat the grass, right?

  Uncle Max : Not exactly. We can't digest grass. We're grass intolerant.

• [during the hyena chase, the channel suddenly changes to a shopping channel] 

  Timon : What's going on here? Pumbaa, are you sitting on the remote?

  Pumbaa : Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie.

• Timon : It's coming to me. It's either that slug I ate, or I'm having an epiphany.

• Timon : This is the start of a beautiful acquaintanceship.

• Timon : I uh, I guess I owe everyone an apology. All right so I made a teensy mistake, like we all haven't broken into song on sentry duty before uh-haha come on, let me have a show of hands! Ooook.

• Timon : So, that's your special power?

  Pumbaa : You mean, you don't mind?

  Timon : Are you kidding? It was a gas!

  [starts laughing] 

  Pumbaa : Well, I don't like to toot my own horn.

  Timon : Yeah, that's probably for the best.

• Uncle Max : Now what do we do if we see a hyena?

  Timon : Scream, "MOMMY!"

• [Timon is awaken by Simba singing "I Just Can't Wait to Be King"] 

  Timon : Oh, perfect! We moved into the theater district. Get a load of these guys. Knock it off!

• Pumbaa : They say first impressions are very important.

  Timon : Oh, I thought you were a "scream".

• [Timon has brought his family to the oasis] 

  Mom : I gotta hand it to you, Timon. This place has EVERYTHING.

  Timon : Well, now that we're all here, it does.

• Timon : [about Simba]  He's gone? Whaddaya MEAN he's gone?

  Nala : It's just like the baboon said. The king has returned.

  [Timon and Pumbaa stare at her blankly] 

  Nala : [sighs]  You guys want me to go over it again?

  Timon : Yes please, but be a dear and skip to the part about Simba. Not that your childhood wasn't fascinating!

  Nala : OK. Look, Simba's the rightful king, but after he disappeared, Scar proclaimed himself the king and formed an alliance with the hyenas...

  Pumbaa : [Thinks]  Poor Simba. The treachery, the villainy, the SURE INDESCRIBABLE HORROR!

  Timon : [Thinks]  Blah blah blah! WHY IS SHE TOYING WITH US? AAH! THIS CRAZY CHICK IS GONNA EAT US!

  Nala : [continues to explain]  ... So Simba has to go back to challenge his uncle and reclaim his place as king!

  [Silence; Nala doesn't get a reaction from Timon or Pumbaa] 

  Nala : [frustrated]  Ohh... don't you get it? Simba NEEDS us! NOW!

  [runs off into the jungle] 

• Timon : Let's go Pumbaa. I think the storm's coming to a head.

  [in the background the clouds are shaping to form Mufasa's head] 

• Timon : Get a load of the monkey getting all Existential on me.

• Timon : Just eat me now and please make it fast, I have a low threshold for pain.

• Timon : It's as if you have some special power.

  Pumbaa : Uh, special power? well, it's pretty powerful.

• Timon : Friends stick together to the end.

• Timon : [singing] 

  [from the movie] 

  Timon : Luau! If you're hungry for a hunk of fat and juicy meet / Eat my buddy, Pumbaa, here 'cause he's a... .

  [Timon pauses the movie] 

  Timon : Let's just cut to the chase, shall we?

  Pumbaa : Oh, okay.

  [Timon pushes next on the remote and it goes to the part where the hyenas chase Timon and Pumbaa] 

  Timon , Pumbaa : AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

• Timon : What this place lacks in water and shade, it makes up for with searing heat and blinding sunshine. Home, sweet home, Pumbaa!

• [At Simba's presentation ceremony] 

  Pumbaa : Timon, look!

  Timon : Hey-ey-ey, it's the monkey!

  Pumbaa : What's that he's holding up?

  Timon : Aw, who cares? It's not important.

• Timon : [terrified]  Hy... hy... hy...

  Shenzi : Well "Hi" to you too!

  Shenzi : [smacks Timon, who goes rolling down a hill and bumps into Uncle Max] 

  Uncle Max : This no time for horseplay Timon! You're suppose to be up there looking out for...

  [sees the hyenas approaching] 

  Uncle Max : HYENAS!

• Timon : It was a wonderful phrase. It has some rhythm. Laduda Ladada. No, that wasn't it.

• Rafiki : You seek Hakuna Matata.

  Timon : Harpoon a tomato?

  Rafiki : Hakuna Matata. It means "no worries".

  Timon : Perfect! Mind taking that stick of yours and drawing me a map, bub?

  [Rafiki smacks him over the head with his stick] 

• Timon : [commenting on his home]  Here we are... from Pride Rock, to the Pit of Shame.

• [last lines] 

  Timon : [as the crowd of Disney characters come in to see the movie again]  Okay, buddy, you win.

  Pumbaa : You sure you don't mind?

  Timon : Hakuna Matata.

  [the Walt Disney Pictures logo is shown] 

  Pumbaa : [At fade-out]  Timon, I still don't do so well in crowds.

• Timon : I see carnivores.

• Timon , Pumbaa : [When they heard Mafasa coming; Screaming]  Aa-aaaa-ah!

  [Timon & Pumbaa hides as Mafasa runs into action] 

  Zazu : [coming from behind Masafa]  Sire, the hyenas are after the children!

  [Timon & Pumbaa peeks in and watches Mafasa attacking the hyenas] 

  Timon : [whispering]  I see carnivores.

• Uncle Max : That's right, Mister! Because the world out there is fraught, FRAUGHT I tell you!

  [shakes Timon] 

  Timon : Oh, boy. It's the fraught fest.

  Uncle Max : They're gonna rip us limb from limb!

  Timon : [clapping]  Bravo, Uncle Max! Way'ta sell it to the cheap seats!

• Timon : [is being hugged by his mother]  Ma... . choking... . not breathing... .

• Timon : Watch where you aim that morning breath. That should come with a warning label. Ooh. What a wake up call.

  Simba : [chuckles]  Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the warthog. What's the matter, paps? Had a little too much Hakuna Matata?

  Timon : Sonny boy, I invented Hakuna Matata.

  Simba : Oh, yeah? Well, I perfected it.

  Timon : Sure, you did. Sure, you did.

• [Timon and Pumbaa float downriver towards a towering waterfall] 

  Timon : Uh, Pumbaa? Question. Is it possible to fall off the edge of the Earth?

  Pumbaa : Technically, no. The Earth is round, like a sphere, Timon, so it doesn't actually *have* an edge.