Faerie Tale Theatre (TV Series)

The Princess Who Had Never Laughed (1986)

Jackie Vernon: Phlegmatic Jack

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phlegmatic Jack : Your Highness, fair princess, my comedy is at your disposal. And now on with the fun. Shall I start with a riddle? What did the one-eyed frog say to the crocodile in the pond? Well that's just a small sample of some hilarity one eats with. A funny thing happened on my way to the palace. A beggar approached me and said "sire, can I have two-hundred quid?" I said, "what are you going to do with two-hundred quid?" He said, "what do you care what I do with my money?" My girl is so fat that when she sits around the house... she sits around the house! That's a joke they will be using thousands of years from now. In fact, my girl is so ugly, I take her everyplace I go. It's better than kissing her goodbye!