She Spies (2002–2004)
Kristen Miller: D.D. Cummings
Photos
Quotes
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Shane Phillips : We've got 'She Spy' action figures.
D.D. Cummings : We have 'She Spy' action figures?
Shane Phillips : Yeah. You wind them up and they dare you to find their time slot.
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D.D. Cummings : That's insane.
Meelbow : No more insane then three beautiful ex-cons working for a clandestine government organization., trying to rid the world of all wrongdoing.
Everyone : Umm, yeah, yep. Pretty much.
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D.D. Cummings : It'd be really great if there was something really hard and really scary that you had to do, and you could somehow zoom to the part where you're done and you're fine.
[jump-cut from them on the roof of a building to inside]
Cassie McBain : That worked great!
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D.D. Cummings : We're going to watch some fun and age-appropriate TV... We so don't want to watch two soap stars talking about having an affair.
[changes channel]
D.D. Cummings : Or someone planning a murder.
[changes channel]
D.D. Cummings : Or discussing incest.
[changes channel]
D.D. Cummings : Or planning to murder someone they had an incestuous affair with.
[changes channel]
D.D. Cummings : Or talk shows about cross-dressers.
[changes channel]
D.D. Cummings : Or talk shows about incestuous cross-dressers who murder.
[changes channel]
D.D. Cummings : Or divorce court. Or people's court.
[changes channel]
D.D. Cummings : Or recreated murders that end up in court.
[changes channel]
D.D. Cummings : Or Cedric.
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Jack Wilde : Who do you wreak havoc and destruction wherever you go?
D.D. Cummings : It's what we love.
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Shane Phillips : That reminds me of what I miss most about prison
D.D. Cummings : Shaving your legs?
Shane Phillips : Okay, second most.
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D.D. Cummings : So we've gone from imprisoned hardened couch potatoes to freedom-loving couch potatoes?
Cassie McBain : Yeah, but now we have the choice to be worthless and lazy.
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D.D. Cummings : You know, I used to clean my own cell. I was once even named 'Inmate of the Month'. Never got to use the parking space, though.
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D.D. Cummings : What's a plethora?
Shane Phillips : "Flora" with a lisp.
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Cassie McBain : Sorry, it's just not one of those stories you enjoy retelling...
[cut to flashback]
Cassie McBain : but I'll try.
Shane Phillips : What's going on?
Cassie McBain : It's a flashback. If we were on TV, there'd be those fuzzy little edges all around the picture.
D.D. Cummings : Wow...
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[watching a tape of Indigo]
D.D. Cummings : Why is he telling us exactly what he's going to do?
Shane Phillips : That's cocky.
Indigo : I'll tell you why and yes, it is cocky. I'm so good at outguessing you authority types I knew what your last two statements were.
Jack Wilde : He is good.
Indigo : [still on tape] Aren't I just?
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D.D. Cummings : Don't drink that!
James Green : Why not?
D.D. Cummings : Why not?
James Green : Yes, why not?
D.D. Cummings : Why not what?
James Green : Why not drink that?
D.D. Cummings : Why not drink what?
James Green : Why not drink that.
D.D. Cummings : Why not drink that?
James Green : Yes, why not drink that.
D.D. Cummings : Why not drink what?
James Green : Why not drink that.
D.D. Cummings : This isn't very good banter, is it.
James Green : Not really. Maybe we should move on.
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Shane Phillips : You don't even care if I understand your jokes, right?
D.D. Cummings : I care - but it's not critical.
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Cassie McBain : Would've been better with ninjas.
Shane Phillips : That's what we were saying.
D.D. Cummings : You think so too?
Cassie McBain : Absolutely, the noises they make and the way they always travel in groups. And how about how they let one finish fighting before the other jumps in
Shane Phillips : Yeah, we forgot about that. They are so polite.
D.D. Cummings : I like that about ninjas.
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D.D. Cummings : Do you guys think I should wear a strapless bra or an underwire bra with this dress? Because the dress is tight, you know? On the one hand I should have support because I don't want things looking droopy, but on the other hand the shoulders are bared so I don't want to show straps. Wait a minute! What am I talking about? Me, in a bra?
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Kelly Sawyer : I guess you've heard of cryogenics?
Cassie McBain : Sure we have; the human snowcone, the freeze-dried nuts, the people who get frostbite *after* they die.
D.D. Cummings : Walt Disney did it; who's next, Michael Ice-ner?
Cassie McBain : The only people who've done that are absolute zeros.
D.D. Cummings : Or people with bi-polar personalities.
Kelly Sawyer : What were they in jail for, was it beating a joke to death?
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Cassie McBain : What a day, huh? Parachuting into a cemetary because the perimeter was guarded and it was our only way in, and exposing a deadly double agent who was trying to elude capture by faking his own death and being buried with an oxygen tank, only to be dug up later.
D.D. Cummings : We knew all that, you know.
Cassie McBain : I know. I'm just saying it for anyone who might've been wondering why we're going through all that trouble.
Shane Phillips : Who'd be wondering?
Cassie McBain : I don't know, anyone.
[pauses and looks around]
Cassie McBain : Look, I've never told you guys this, it's kind of embarrassing. Sometimes I get the weirdest feeling like people are watching us, like they're listening in on every single thing we do or say.
Shane Phillips : Yeah, I get that feeling, too.
D.D. Cummings : So do I.
[all 3 turn to look suspiciously into the camera]
Cassie McBain : Creepy, huh?
D.D. Cummings : Yeah, very.
Shane Phillips : My hair's a mess.
