Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

Phil Caracas: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Jesus walks out of the lake with a small bottle of lemonade] 

  Jesus Christ : Lemonade?

  Father Eustace : Will there be enough?

  Jesus Christ : Oh, there'll be plenty.

• Jesus Christ : If I'm not back in five minutes, call the Pope.

• Jesus Christ : Why lesbians?

  Johnny Golgotha : They're deviants, no one will miss them.

  Jesus Christ : There's nothing deviant about love

• [Jesus KOs a vampire] 

  Jesus Christ : [pats body]  Body of Christ!

• God : Jesus...

  Jesus Christ : Is that you, bowl of cherries?

  God : Do bowls of cherries talk, Jesus?

  Jesus Christ : I don't know. I've seen a lot of strange things over the years.

  God : You need help, Jesus, and I will not forsake it.

  Jesus Christ : Ohh, it's you Dad. So what's your advice?

• Jesus Christ : [singing a song at the Dominion]  I was born in a manger / doomed to live in danger.

• The Transvestite : Jesus, honey, you're a mess!

  Jesus Christ : [weakly]  How... did you know... my name?

• Jesus Christ : Not even this separates you from my love.

• Jesus Christ : [to the jive talking man behind the counter]  Don't tempt me!