- Shyam Sunder Balabhadrapatramukhi: Did you know I'm good at math? Let's add you and me, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply...
- Mr. Varghese's Friend: 'Eh, Varghese, your wife's fish curry is the bomb!
- Dr. Bakshi: I was looking at your statements.
- Mo: What statements?
- Dr. Bakshi: What statements?... What statements have you have?... Your credit card statements. $400 for car speakers. $1800 for rims. $80 at Starbucks... When your mom makes the best masala chaia, you're spending $80 for coffee.
- Hari: Mohan, I could use a comb. I'm going to keep the comb.
- Mo: Want anything else? How about uh, how about some deodorant?
- Hari: Deodorant? I don't smell, do I? I use powder everyday!
- Mo: No no! That's good man! But deodorant, see look, it makes you feel fresh, light, and clean!
- Hari: I tried it once; it tickled me very much!
- Mo: But you should use it man... The ladies will love it.
- Deepu Bakshi: Hey Mom, I need my lunch! Oh, and NO curry burgers. I'm tired of going to school smellin' like a spice rack!
- Indiana Jones Girl: Well, after Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom came out, everybody started asking me if I ate monkey brains. Hello? I'm a fricken' vegetarian!
- Janvi Valia: What's that stuff in your hair? It smells nice!
- Hari: Oh, it's coconut oil! I use it every day!
- Janvi Valia: It reminds me of my grandma.
- Hari: Chi Chi, See the Ball is dirty, you know. You have to clean the balls. Just clean it, soo dirty... This wont work if the balls are dirty...