- Dave Murphy: Aw man, that garbage can was full of loaded diapers.
- Kevin Haub: Baby's are cute, though.
- Dave Murphy: [pause] Yeah they are.
- Satin: What about you? What's your story?
- Kevin Haub: I'm gay.
- Satin: [uncomfortable silence] You think you're gay?
- Kevin Haub: I think I'm gay. I think I like dudes. This old farmer guy asked me if I liked boys. You know it got me to thinking.
- Blush: Anyone else in the car think they're gay?
- Dinkadoo Murphy, Hunter Bullette, Dave Murphy, Dick Murphy: No.
- Dinkadoo Murphy: Kevin, wh-what do you mean you think you're gay?
- Kevin Haub: I do. I think I like dudes.
- Kevin Haub: Hey with all them boxes. I'm going to make 'em into a giant break dancing mat and we're going to have a neighborhood break off.
- Farmer: Reckon you need a good ass-whoopin?
- Kevin Haub: Nah, I don't think so...
- Farmer: You're soft, like a knobbly-kneed girl. Reckon you like boys?
- Kevin Haub: Nah, I don't think so... I just looking for some cutting implements.
- Farmer: Saws and what have you?
- Kevin Haub: Yes sir.
- Farmer: I've got cutting implements. Saws and what have you...
- Kevin Haub: Cool,. Are they in good condition? Well oiled? Little or no rust?
- Dinkadoo Murphy: You clumsy Silverback, watch my FUCKIN' legs.
- Dave Murphy: Nice one, foghorn. Why don't you just hurl your feces at the patrons?
- Dick Murphy: Really Dink, you can't just holler out vulgarities like that, we are in the middle of the gosh darn Bible-belt here.
- Dinkadoo Murphy: Whatever Dick, no one even noticed.
- Dot the Waitress: We all hate you. Also, some enraged farmer has stolen your wheelchair.
- Dick Murphy: Now here's what we're gonna do, we're gonna put that human nose back in the glovebox. Go on. We're gonna forget about it. Forever.
- Kevin Haub: Yeah, okay that sounds easy enough. Hey, anyone hungry?
- Dinkadoo Murphy: Yes, good idea.
- Kevin Haub: What about the human nose?
- Dick Murphy: Kevin, forget about the human nose!
- Hunter Bullette: My condition caused the accidental rabbit smothering. I said I was sorry.
- Dinkadoo Murphy: The only unconditional love I've ever know has been from bunnies. When no else wanted to spend time with a little crippled boy, bunnies would. And now... one of them has had it's flame snuffed out like a candle in the wind.
- Agent Madsen, Trooper: We're gonna cut the head off the Dope Snake. And watch it writhe around - in its own feces, blood and mucus, dragging its entrails, making concentric circles in the sand - before it expires.
- Honey: So, what are you guys doing in Kansas?
- Dave Murphy: World's
- [pause]
- Dave Murphy: largest corn silo.
- Honey: Really? It's here in Kansas?
- Dave Murphy: Oh yeah. We're gonna bungie that big fucker.
- Angry Motorcycle Cop: You say you're not poaching endangered water fowl. But Jesus Christ, look at all these dead ducks! Also, your vehicle is horrible. I see this car on the road again, I'll cite ya.
- Dick Murphy: [stutters] I-We-we-ah. The ducks hit *us*!
- Agent Madsen, Trooper: [to Hunter] Hey, big man!
- Kevin Haub: Yes sir.
- Agent Madsen, Trooper: Not you, thin-bin!