Crossing Jordan (2001–2007)
Steve Valentine: Dr. Nigel Townsend
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Nigel Townsend : So if I killed my husband, where would I stash the body?
Jordan : If you killed your husband you'd have to start in the closet.
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Woody : I'd appreciate if you handle this with a little bit of sensitivity. I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm up for a promotion this year. So if word got out...
Nigel : Woody, Woody, Woody... I promise that I will keep an open mind, okay? And anyway sensitivity is my middle name.
[opens the door]
Nigel : [shouts] Sweet Mary in the manger!
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Dr. Trey Sanders : How do you know all this, Nigel?
Dr. Nigel Townsend : Insomnia and the History Channel. It's a lethal combination.
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Dr. Nigel Townsend : I paid seven homeless people to go dumpster diving for me.
Macy : Who's money did you use?
Dr. Nigel Townsend : Yours.
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[Jordan is banging computer keys in frustration]
Dr. Nigel Townsend : Please evacuate the keyboard area.
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Dr. Nigel Townsend : How big would you like it?
[Maguire gives him a look]
Dr. Nigel Townsend : I meant the picture.
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Dr. Nigel Townsend : Jordan, you should know that last night will never happen again.
Jordan : Oh God, what are we talking about here?
Dr. Nigel Townsend : My new image in the workplace. No more Nigel-the-computer-jockey. Okay, I was swept up in the moment, but now it's truly done.
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Mr. Hummer : He will be preserved until his condition is reversible.
Dr. Nigel Townsend : His condition is dead.
Mr. Hummer : Man, you people are like a broken record.
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Devan Maguire : You know, I've been trying to shake the whole cheerleader image for years. Is it really that bad?
Dr. Nigel Townsend : Keep trying, luv.
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Dr. Nigel Townsend : The bullet then continues up the arm to break the humerus, not very funny in this case...
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Dr. Nigel Townsend : Hacking into this is a federal crime, you know!
Jordan : Let's just keep it on my tab.
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Dr. Nigel Townsend : Why dine like kings when you're having dessert with Smith & Wesson?