- Pete: [explaining to his camp director why he can't take his campers hiking this year] There's all that walkin' around. I got fallen arches. I got weak joints. I don't need a doctor, I need an architect. Can't somebody take my place?
- Russ Stuckey: Pete, it just isn't possible. We got a schedule to follow.
- Pete: What about my allergies?
- Russ Stuckey: [scoffing] Allergies? To what?
- Pete: To anything green. I break out around Astro-Turf.