The Emperor's New Clothes (2001)

Ian Holm: Napoleon Bonaparte, Sergeant Eugene Lenormand

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eugene : My guts have been troubling me of late.

  Montholon : Perhaps Your Royal Highness would not suffer such pains if he did not sit around on his fat arse all day, stuffing his face like a pig.

  Eugene : [through a mouthful of sweets]  I wish to consult a doctor.

  Montholon : Do you indeed?

  Eugene : An Italian doctor. No, German! The best there is!

  Montholon : You'll have your doctor when you've done your duty, not before.

  [Eugene reaches for another sweet] 

  Montholon : [shouts]  And stop stuffing your damn face!

  [Eugene stands up abruptly, gasping, and keels over] 

• [last lines] 

  Napoleon Bonaparte : I have a message for Sergeant Justin Bommell.

  Gendarme : You wish to speak with him?

  Napoleon Bonaparte : Just the message. And I'd like to leave this.

  [puts a box on the counter; the gendarme looks inside and sees an Imperial Guard uniform] 

  Gendarme : You were here before, weren't you? I recognize you.

  Napoleon Bonaparte : The message should read, "Eugene Lenormand is dead..."

  [the gendarme starts to write] 

  Napoleon Bonaparte : No, not that.

  [thinks for a moment] 

  Napoleon Bonaparte : "Eugene Lenormand... has moved on. He left this to remember him by."

• Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut : I bought it from a lawyer who went bankrupt.

  Napoleon Bonaparte : Well, that's something. I didn't know that was possible.

• Napoleon Bonaparte : Six years of English cooking... six years of staring at these dreary walls... and at your gloomy face. You're quite ugly, did you know that? I haven't had the heart to tell you.

  Louis Marchand : Yes, sire.

• [Napoleon looks at his double, Eugene, a lowly deckhand - both characters played by Ian Holm] 

  Napoleon Bonaparte : What are we going to do?

  Montholon : Sire?

  Napoleon Bonaparte : Well, he looks *nothing* like me.

• Napoleon Bonaparte : I am not Eugene! Eugene Lenormand is nothing! A nobody!

  Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut : He is everything to me.

• [Napoleon slips outside Pumpkin's door and hits his head on the cobblestones] 

  Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut : Sergeant! Sergeant Lenormand, are you all right? Can you hear me?

  [No response] 

  Dr. Lambert : Listen to me. How many fingers can you see?

  [No response] 

  Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut : What is your name?

  Napoleon Bonaparte : Emperor Napoleon.

• Napoleon Bonaparte : They've changed my battlefield.

• Napoleon Bonaparte : I am a man who can be killed, but not insulted!

• Napoleon Bonaparte : I am Napoleon!

  Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut : No, you're not Napoleon! I hate Napoleon! He's filled France with widows and orphans! He took my husband! I won't let him take you.

• Montholon : You will of course be traveling incognito...

  Napoleon Bonaparte : Yes, of course incognito, but in what capacity will I be traveling?

  Montholon : Uh... a galley hand.

  [Napoleon glares] 

  Montholon : It is in the utmost need, Sire.

  Napoleon Bonaparte : Even so, surely something above decks would have been more appropriate.

• [first lines] 

  Napoleon Bonaparte : No, that's not it. That's not right. Let me tell you what really happened...

• Napoleon Bonaparte : I had rather sleep in the gutter than spend one night under an inhospitable roof!