Gosford Park (2001)
Emily Watson: Elsie
Photos
Quotes
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Henry Denton : You Brits really don't have a sense of humor do you?
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : We do if something's funny, sir.
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Mary Maceachran : Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : At least I know that gives me room for manoeuvre.
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[talking about Lady Sylvia]
Mary Maceachran : What was her family like?
Elsie : What you'd expect: toffee-nosed and useless. Her father was the Earl of Carton, which sounds good except he didn't have a pot to piss in.
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Elsie : Why do we spend our time living through them? Look at poor old Lewis. If her own mother had a heart attack, she'd think it was less important than one of Lady Sylvia's farts.
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[at the banquet dinner table]
Sir William McCordle : And why shouldn't I be interested in films? You don't know what I'm interested in.
Lady Sylvia McCordle : Well, I know you're interested in money and fiddling with your guns. But I admit it: when it comes to anything else, I'm stumped.
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : Now, that is not fair, Bill is...
[Realizing that she spoke out of turn, Elsie quickly leaves the room]
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Mary Maceachran : Her Ladyship says Sir William loves his shooting.
Elsie : Yeah, he does. Can't hit a barn door but he does love it. Sweet, really.
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Elsie (Head Housemaid) : God, look at this, machine made lace.
Barnes : Hark at her!
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : I hate cheap clothes. They're twice the work and they never look as good.
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Elsie (Head Housemaid) : George?
George (First Footman) : They're coming in a minute. The dressing bell's just gone.
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : I'm going out of my mind up there. I've read all my magazines twice. You couldn't pinch something out of the library for me? I don't care if it's Horse and Hound, as long as I haven't read it.
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Elsie (Head Housemaid) : [while serving at dinner and interrupting Lady Sylvia] That's not fair! Billy...
[Elsie exits quickly]
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Robert Parks : Here we go again.
Mary Maceachran : That's just it. I've never done a real houseparty before. Not properly anyway.
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : How come you got taken on as a countess lady's maid if you've got no experience?
Mary Maceachran : She wants to train me. She said she didn't care about experience.
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : She didn't want to pay for it, you mean.
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Mary Maceachran : What do I do with her Ladyship's jewels?
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : This way. George is in charge of the safe, he's the first footman and you want to watch where he puts his hands.
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Isobel McCordle : Elsie, you're not... in trouble, are you?
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : What, you mean apart from having no home and no job?
[Isobel looks stricken. Elsie softens and puts a hand to her own stomach]
Elsie (Head Housemaid) : No, no worries there.