Big Trouble (2002)

Ben Foster: Matt Arnold

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jenny Herk : You, don't look at my ass when I walk away.

  Andrew : I can't make that promise.

  [leaves] 

  Andrew : Whoa. "You can squirt me tonight down at Bayside." You're gonna remember that line when you're an old dude, dude.

  Matt Arnold : Are you looking at her ass?

  Andrew : Yeah.

• Eliot Arnold : Strip poker. Strip poker. Now, that's a good game.

  [Grabs a squirt gun away from Matt] 

  Eliot Arnold : This is a stupid game.

  Matt Arnold : Dad, no offense, but only a moron would mistake that for a real gun.

  Eliot Arnold : You could've been killed. And where's your partner in crime?

  Matt Arnold : Andrew?

  Jenny Herk : He ran the other way.

  Eliot Arnold : Did anybody call the police?

  Anna Herk : [off-screen]  I'm making some coffee, you want some?

  Eliot Arnold : I'll call the police.

• Matt Arnold : I hope they don't have a dog.

  Eliot Arnold : [narrating]  As it turns out, the Herks did have a dog. His name was Roger and he was the random result of generations of hasty, unplanned dog sex.

• Geo Salesman : Sweet little vehicle. Just get divorced? Ah, it doesn't matter. Forty-two miles to the gallon, AM/FM radio. I'll even throw in the undercoating. Anything else you'd like to know?

  Matt Arnold : Yeah. How many clowns can it hold?

• Matt Arnold : Uh, Jenny's mom opened the door, and I came running up to squirt her. And then, uh, Mrs. Herk jumped me... or jumped *on* me. And, uh, and then I went down on Jenny... or I f-fell on Jenny.

• [Matt and Andrew are getting prepared for a big water gun war at their friend, Jenny, in her home] 

  Andrew : So, what's the plan? Through the front?

  Matt Arnold : [sarcastically]  Yeah. "It's Matt Arnold. I'm here to kill your daughter, Jenny."

  [truthfully] 

  Matt Arnold : No, we gotta go over the wall, dickweed. I just hope she doesn't see this stupid turdmobile.

• Matt Arnold : How about I shoot you in the hand?

  Jenny Herk : My first hand job.

• Matt Arnold : Dad, the goat kicked your Geo's ass.

  Eliot Arnold : The car is a piece of shit, OK?

• Arthur Herk : My TV... you shot my TV! You little son of a bitch, you're going to pay for that, *and* you're going to jail!

  Matt Arnold : [mumbling]  It's a squirt gun, man.

  Arthur Herk : What?

  Matt Arnold : It's a squirt gun.

  Jenny Herk : Good thing you ran away, Arthur, you might have gotten wet.

• [as Jenny walks away again] 

  Matt Arnold : Are you staring at her ass?

  Andrew : You're not?