Big Trouble (2002)

Janeane Garofalo: Police Officer Monica Romero

Photos 

Quotes 

• Arthur Herk : [making an opinion on who might have shot his TV]  I'll tell you who did it. It's probably some goddamn kids. 'Cause these goddamn kids today, they all got goddamn guns, and they're all sniffing glue!

  Officer Monica Romero : Any additional insights, Mr. Herk? Any information can help us to protect you.

  Arthur Herk : I seriously doubt that you or any other member of the police force in this town could protect their own dicks with both hands.

  Officer Monica Romero : Thank you for that observation.

• Officer Monica Romero : I'm not gonna arrest you, Matt, unless Mrs. Herk wants to press charges.

  Anna Herk : Hey, kids.

  Arthur Herk : I want to press charges! Cuff him!

  Officer Monica Romero : My hands are kind of full right now, what with holding my dick and all.

• Arthur Herk : Oh, my God! She's coming to get me!

  Pat Greer : The dog, Mr. Herk?

  Arthur Herk : No! Her!

  Pat Greer : Who?

  Arthur Herk : You know! Her!

  Martha Stewart : Herk, Herk, Herk! Herk!

  Arthur Herk : Oh, my God, she knows my name... She knows everything! She's come to take my soul!

  Pat Greer : Mr. Herk, this is important...

  Arthur Herk : Please don't let her take my soul!

  Pat Greer : What the hell's he talking about?

  Monica Romero : I don't know.

  Alan Seitz : How close did he get to that toad?

  Monica Romero : Like face first.

  Alan Seitz : Bufotenin. Hell of a hallucination. He's gone and he's not coming back.

  Martha Stewart : [growls] 

• [At the airport, Leonard trips and a hunting rifle goes flying out of his golf bag. He and Henry freeze when they see FBI Agents Greer and Seitz, and Officer Romero standing there] 

  Pat Greer : Your jurisdiction.

  [the FBI Agents leave. Monica stares and Henry and Leonard for a few seconds, then picks up the rifle, removes the bolt, and tosses the rifle back to the ground] 

  Monica Romero : Gentlemen.

  [She leaves] 

  Henry Desalvo : ...Well, Miami sucks. But the cops are kind of nice.

  Leonard : Got that right.

• [Officer Monica Romero and Agent Greer are in his car, arguing about Russian bombs and missiles] 

  Officer Monica Romero : Where did they get that stuff?

  Pat Greer : Russia.

  Officer Monica Romero : Don't the Russians have controls on that kind of thing?

  Pat Greer : You'd faint if you knew. A few months ago, somebody got a warhead out of a missile-dismantlement facility in a place called -...

  Alan Seitz : Sergijev Posad. Not far from Moscow. Beautiful churches there.

  [off their looks] 

  Alan Seitz : Travel Channel.

  Pat Greer : Anyway, somebody who knew what they were doing modified it. Dumped it on some guys who run a place here called The Jolly Jackal.

  Officer Monica Romero : The bar?

  Pat Greer : That bar has more AK-47s than Budweiser.

• Officer Monica Romero : [about the suitcase bomb]  Well, guess it was bound to happen someday.

  Alan Seitz : What makes you think this is the first time?

  Pat Greer : Never mind which time this is. The important thing is we got those assholes trapped at the airport, and until we say further, no plane is taking off.

  Officer Monica Romero : You can do that?

• Monica Romero : You're making a big mistake.

  Snake : Story of my life.

• Monica Romero : Take it easy.

  Arthur Herk : Don't tell me to take it easy, this is my goddamn house!

  Monica Romero : And these are my handcuffs, and if you don't take it easy, you'll be wearing my handcuffs in your goddamn house!