Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

Brent Spiner: Pierre

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Pierre has a deep French ascent] 

  Pierre : But luckily for you, I am an onihgable man.

  Mark : Excuse me, what was that?

  Pierre : Onihgable!

  Mark : What?... Oner gable?

  Pierre : Onihgable!

  Mark : Omini-hrm?

  Pierre : Onihgable!

  Mark : I still don't...

  Pierre : [Irritated]  Onihgable!

  Mark : [Pronouncing it perfectly]  I think the word you're looking for is "honorable".

  Pierre : SHUT UP!

• Pierre : Alright, here it is: I am going to ask you a question. If you get it right, I will set you free. If you get it wrong, then, you will be spending a lot of time with the ever popular Mark.

  Mark : I can be very nice.

  [Mark begins to rub his nipples, while Jesse and Chester looks at him with disgust] 

  Pierre : Alright, here it is: What is the average running speed of a full-grown male African Ostrich?

  Mark : [whispers]  Pass. Pass to me, I know it.

  Jesse : Pass to Mark.

  Pierre : [screaming]  You cannot pass! Shut up! What do I have to do to shut you up? Do I have to hose you down again?

  Mark : Don't hose me! Maybe later.

  Jesse : Dude, we're dead.

  Chester : [whispers]  Not so fast.

  Chester : The full-grown male African Ostrich, or the latin "Struthio Camelus," can grow to an average size of six feet-six inches, and weigh anywhere from 225 to 350 pounds, that can get up to, oh, an average speed of 27 miles per hour.

  Pierre : [showing excitement]  This is absolutely correct!

  Chester : Animal Planet.

  Mark : Wow! I said Brown.

• Pierre : Can I get you guys some beers?

  Mark : I'd like a "Near Beer," please.

  Pierre : SHUT UP!

  [smacks Mark's cage with horsewhip] 

  Pierre : WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO SHUT YOU UP?

• Pierre : [on "No Trespassing" sign]  No trespassing. Violators will be castrated: Balls - Cut - Off.