Thumbtanic (2000)

Mark DeCarlo: The Interviewer, TV Anchor, Elvis, Lookout #2, Rich Man at Dinner, 'Shuffle Board Finals?'

Quotes 

• TV Anchor : An amazing discovery today: A drawing of a naked lady found at the bottom of the ocean. Sources close to the drawing say, "Not only is she nekkid, but she ain't wearing any clothes, too."

• Jake : I'M THE KING OF THE GLOBE! WOO-HOO!

  Moderator : Hello. That'll be about it. Time's Up. Next.

  Dentist : I'M A DENTIST! YAY!

  Moderator : Next.

  'Really A Woman' Guy : I'M REALLY A WOMAN! WEEEEEE!

  Moderator : Next, please.

  Elbow-Cleaning Man : I'M CLEANING MY ELBOW!

  Guy Who's Ulcer Free : I'M ULCER FREE!

  Bed-Wetting Man : I'M A BED-WETTER! No that's not cool.

  Elvis : Hail to the king, baby. Say, read it. Get my cape.

• The Interviewer : Tell us your story, old one.

  Old Geranium : Well, ah... I, uh...

  The Interviewer : Give us but a rare glimpse behind the withered curtains of your mind.

  Old Geranium : All right. It was a...

  The Interviewer : Grace us with the marvelous tale of aged wisdom that is locked within the deep, withered pit of the crusty remnants of your aged, ragged brain.

  Old Geranium : Fine. It was a...

  The Interviewer : Grace us with the marvelous tale of withered, decrepit wisdom; spew forth from your lined, grey, wrinkled piehole the secrets locked deep within the past.