The Broken Hearts Club: A Romantic Comedy (2000)

Andrew Keegan: Kevin

Quotes 

• Kevin : So, what - you're not attracted to me?

  Dennis : Of course I'm attracted to you. I've been crazy about you ever since you lit the candles. Kevin, you were the wish.

• Kevin : [voice-over - end of movie]  A lot of people ask me when I first knew I was gay. Fact is, I don't know. But what I do remember, what I can recall, is when I first realized it was Okay: It was when I met these guys. My friends.

• Dennis : Oh, everyone gets dumped first time around. It's the rule of all newbie relationships.

  Kevin : What happens next? Do I become like you and your friends?

  Dennis : You don't even know my friends.

  Kevin : Yeah, I know them well enough to know that you're just a bunch of bitter, jaded...

  Dennis : Fags? Go ahead and say it.

  Kevin : [overtalking Dennis]  I wasn't gonna say it. I wasn't gonna say that.

  Dennis : You should. Maybe then you'd be less afraid of what it means.

  Kevin : Why can't everything just slow down?

  Dennis : I promise, it will. But you can't go back now. At least go have a cup of coffee with me?

  Kevin : One condition.

  Dennis : What?

  Kevin : West Hollywood's that way.

  [points] 

  Kevin : Show me one thing you find interesting that way.

  [points in other direction] 

• Dennis : [Cole and Kevin are making out behind the bleachers]  Cole...

  Cole : [holds finger up as they continue making out] 

  Dennis : You're up in 2.

  Cole : Oh. Thanks Den.

  [leaves] 

  Dennis : [approaches Kevin]  Hey.

  Kevin : Hey.

  Dennis : So, still deciding if you're gay?

• Dennis : You like The Carpenters.

  Kevin : Oh, insanely.

  Dennis : Well, here's to your first OGT. Obviously Gay Trait. Mine are: love of The Carpenters, culinary interests, and intense fear of blood sports.

• Kevin : You scared me.

  Dennis : It's my house, I'm allowed to do that.

• Kevin : I don't get you guys. Is that all you do, you just sit around and talk about guys?

  Dennis : Either that, or we talk about guys.

• Cole : So, how do you and Benji know each other?

  Kevin : We fold jeans at Structure.

• Dennis : You told them!

  Kevin : It just kind of slipped out. My mom said she made some key lime pie, and I said 'great, I love key lime pie... and I'm gay'.

  Dennis : I bet she wishes she made apple pie instead.

• Kevin : Everyone knows that birthday wishes are the only ones with any real validity.

• Dennis : I thought my mom would be cooler, she was a 60's love child. When she caught me smoking pot with my friends all she said was 'I hope you didn't pay market for that'. But when I told her I was gay she didn't speak to me for a month.

  Kevin : How is she now?

  Dennis : Better. She still refers to the homosexual community as 'The Gays', like they live on her block.

  [in a feminine voice] 

  Dennis : 'Dennis, I heard The Gays had a parade... did you go'?

• Jack : [deleted scene]  When I was exactly the age you are now, I was married.

  Kevin : To a man?

  Jack : No! To a woman.

  Kevin : Really?

  Jack : Yeah. Married for three years. And here's the clincher: I was pretty happy.

  Kevin : Okay, I don't get it. Didn't you know?

  Jack : Did you?

  Kevin : So what happened?

  Jack : Oh, I met a man. And, despite all my efforts, he slowly made me realize that love wasn't just being comfortable with someone. Or friendly. It's the making your palms sweat and your heart beat faster than you ever knew it could before. And I confessed my predicament to my wife; she was thankfully, eternally understanding.

  Kevin : But if you were happy...

  Jack : No no no no. I said "pretty happy," kid.

  [a beat] 

  Jack : See, what you're too young to realize is that there's a world of difference between "pretty happy," and "happy."