Meet the Parents (2000)

Teri Polo: Pam Byrnes

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Jack's Poem] 

  Jack Byrnes : "My Mother", by Jack Byrnes. You gave me life / You gave me milk / You gave me courage / Your name was Angela / The angel from Heaven / But you were also an angel of God / And He needed you, too / Selfishly I tried to keep you here / While the cancer ate away your organs, / Like an unstoppable rebel force / But I couldn't save you / and I shall see your face nevermore, nevermore, nevermore / Until we meet in heaven.

  Pam Byrnes : Dad, that's beautiful.

  Dina Byrnes : It always gets me.

  Greg Focker : That's amazing, so much love, and also so much information.

• Pam Byrnes : Geez, Dad. You ever think of knocking?

  Jack Byrnes : Not in my own den. What are you two doing in here?

  Larry : I'd say rounding 2nd base.

• Pam Byrnes : Greg honey, how are you doing?

  Greg Focker : Oh great, considering I desecrated your Grandma's remains, found out you were engaged, and had your father ask me to milk him.

• Pam Byrnes : You never told me about your cat milking days in Motown.

• Pam Byrnes : Take it easy on the sarcasm. Humor is entirely wasted on my parents.

  Greg Focker : What are they... Amish?

• Greg Focker : Does he hook all your boyfriends up to his little machine?

  Pam Byrnes : Well, he doesn't need a machine. He's a human lie detector.

  Greg Focker : What?

  Pam Byrnes : Greg, my father was never in the rare flower business. That was just his cover. He was in the C.I.A. for 34 years.

  Greg Focker : How could you not tell me this?

  Pam Byrnes : I wanted to, honey, but it was strictly on a "need-to-know" basis.

  Greg Focker : So, what? He's in the C.I.A.? He was a spy? He is a spy?

  Pam Byrnes : No, he was more like a psychological profiler. They used him to interrogate suspected double agents in the company.

  Greg Focker : Oh yea. That's great. I was scared of your dad back when I thought he was a florist. It's wonderful to know that I've actually got a C.I.A. spy-hunter on my ass.

• [Greg is sitting in the dark. Pam walks in to check on him] 

  Pam Byrnes : What's the matter sweetie? Can't sleep?

  Greg Focker : No, no. I was just going over my answers to the polygraph test your dad just gave me.

• Pam Byrnes : I love you, Dad, but you can be a real jerk sometimes.

• Pam Byrnes : Hey, listen, be nice to this one, okay? I kinda like him.