Alec Baldwin: Mr. Conductor
Photos
Quotes
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Mr. C. Junior : [Mr. Conductor uses a "bellflower" to call Junior. Junior, who is asleep on the beach, hears his phone] Where's my shell phone?
[takes his headphones off and picks up a conch shell]
Mr. C. Junior : Hello?
Mr. Conductor : Junior? Junior, is that you?
Mr. C. Junior : Oh, hi, 'cuz. Are you in a tunnel? This isn't a very good line.
Mr. Conductor : Junior, where are you?
Mr. C. Junior : Um... I'm in paradise! I just got on cloud nine and here I am!
Mr. Conductor : Junior, listen to me; you've got to come to the Island of Sodor right now!
Mr. C. Junior : Now? But I'm waiting on the perfect wave!
Mr. Conductor : Oh, no, you're not; you're coming here! You've got to help me find the source of all our family's gold dust.
Mr. C. Junior : What is the source?
Mr. Conductor : That's the trouble, Junior; I haven't a clue.
Mr. C. Junior : [looking at his whistle] And I've used up most of my gold dust, too.
Mr. Conductor : WHAT? Then go to Shining Time Station first, and in my signal house, in the box, under the staircase, you'll find my emergency whistle with the rest of my supply. Please take care of this, Junior, and...
[whispers into the phone]
Mr. Conductor : Don't talk to anyone about the buffers!
Mr. C. Junior : What buffers?
Mr. Conductor : Shh!
Mr. C. Junior : [thinking Mr. Conductor's shushing is static] This is a really bad line! Hello? My shell phone's not working properly!
Mr. Conductor : Junior, you've got to come here right away! I'm counting on you!
Mr. C. Junior : Hello?
[line goes dead]
Mr. C. Junior : [annoyed] I want my money back.
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[Mr. Conductor has run out of gold dust]
Thomas : Mr. Conductor, but what happened to your sparkle?
Mr. Conductor : I don't know, Thomas. I guess I'll just have to sleep on that.
Thomas : On your sparkle?
Mr. Conductor : No, Thomas, on the problem of what happened to it.
Percy : Oh, but, Mr. Conductor. Without your sparkle or the lost engine, you can't travel to help us anymore.
Mr. Conductor : I'll solve the problem, you just go to sleep now.
Thomas : Easy for you to say.
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Mr. Conductor : [looking straight into the camera and addressing the children watching the movie, and indicating the flour sacks he landed on after being thrown by Diesel 10] Did YOU put all this here for me? But you must have know I was coming... how kind of you!
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Diesel 10 : [sees Mr. Conductor wielding a bag of sugar] Is that...
Mr. Conductor : That's right, it's sugar, Diesel! And if I throw this in your tank, it'll seize you up for good!
Diesel 10 : [leaving] Make the most of tonight, Twinkle Toes, because you won't like tomorrow!
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[the clue to the source of the magic gold dust]
Mr. Conductor : Stoke up the magic in the mountain, and the lady will smile... then watch the swirls that spin so well.
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Billy Twofeathers : Important day, Mr. C?
Mr. Conductor : [laughing] It is a very important day!
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Mr. Conductor : [Sir Topham Hatt phones to Mr. Conductor] Oh, good afternoon, Sir... A real honor, Sir; Like my family before me... and how is Lady Hatt? Yes... Watch out for Diesel, definitely... And keep an eye on Henry's health, certainly... Uh, yes, Sir; The Three "R"s: "Reading", "Writing", and "Arithmetic"... I mean... I will be "responsible", "reliable", and "really useful"... Yes, Sir. We will go get a good night's sleep, looking forward to a hard day tomorrow. Good-bye, Sir!
[hangs up]
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Mr. C. Junior : Sorry to be so long, cuz.
[Mr Conductor approaches him, looking exasperated]
Mr. C. Junior : But, better late than never?
Mr. Conductor : [dismayed] Junior, we're all out of gold dust, aren't we?
Mr. C. Junior : Bankrupt.
[pause]
Mr. C. Junior : Hey, it's a beautiful day! I mean, we're down, but we're not out.
Mr. Conductor : No, we're *out*... but we are not *down*.
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[first lines]
Mr. Conductor : [narrating] Hello. I'm Mr. Conductor, and I'm going to tell you a story about trains, folks far apart, and the magic that bought them together.
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[Mr. Conductor is being threatened by Diesel 10 while being constricted by Pinchy]
Diesel 10 : [while Mr. Conductor is trying to get a pair of scissors] You've got ten seconds! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two!
Mr. Conductor : [Mr. Conductor grabs the pair of scissors and cuts a tube, causing hydraulic fluid to come pouring out as Diesel 10 gets a very uncomfortable look on his face] Too late, Diesel!
[Pinchy malfunctions and sends Mr. Conductor flying. Mr. Conductor eventally lands at the windmill]
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Mr. Conductor : [sees a bat on the staircase] So, who dropped the ball, then?
[the ball bounces towards him; he catches it]
Mr. Conductor : There you are. I'd like to have a nice cup of hot cocoa; would you fellas care to join me?
[puts his ear to the ball]
Mr. Conductor : No? What would you rather do instead?
[puts his ear to the ball again]
Mr. Conductor : Go outside and play? Well, I can understand that.
[looks at the bat]
Mr. Conductor : What do you think?
[bonks the ball with the bat, and then playfully scolds it]
Mr. Conductor : Why do you keep hitting him like that? You're gonna have to have a time-out.
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Mr. Conductor : Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!
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Thomas : Diesel's hijacked him!
Lily, Burnetts Grand Daughter : what's going to happen to Junior now?
Mr. Conductor : well, my family is usually pretty good at getting themselves out of trouble. eventually.
Thomas : I don't know what *eventually* means, but it sounds really, really long.
