Never Been Kissed (1999)

Michael Vartan: Sam Coulson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sam : All I can tell you is that when you're my age, guys will be lined up around the corner for you.

  Josie Geller : You have to say that because you're my teacher.

  Sam : Actually, I shouldn't say that because I'm your teacher.

• [during a "sex-ed" class in which the students are trying to put condoms on bananas, Tracy has just revealed to Josie that she wants to have sex for the first time. Josie is somewhat stunned, but tries to offer advice] 

  Josie Geller : You know, Adelie penguins, they spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together.

  Tracy : But I'm not a penguin.

  Sam : [has walked up next to them as Josie talked]  It's an analogy.

  [Josie turns to look at him and loses her grip on the condom which flies up and smacks him in the face] 

  Josie Geller : [to Tracy]  Excuse me. I have to go die now.

  [puts her head in her hands] 

• Sam : Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to get here.

  Josie Geller : I know what you mean.

• Thomas 'Tommy' Salomme : [Swinging the buchet on the ferris wheel]  If the buckets a rockin' dont come a kn-kn-kn-knockin'... Yeah!

  Sam : I like to say that men change, but we never do.

  Thomas 'Tommy' Salomme : [sarcastically, making fun of Josie]  Mr. Coulson Rocks my world!

• Sam : [Sees Anita outside the class room]  Hi... are you here for the Sex Talk?

  Anita Olesky : Ooo... I like a man who gets right to the point!

  Sam : Are you Pam?

  Anita Olesky : ...If you say so!

  Sam : [Sam leads Anita into the room]  Ok Class, this is Pam, she is going to lead us today in our Sex Talk.

  Anita Olesky : I what! No, I what! H-Hi I'm P-Pam. Sex. Yes well Sex. What do you say about sex really. You like a guy... you do it with him... sometimes he calls, sometimes he doesn't

  [she laughs] 

  Anita Olesky : Oooo.