User Reviews

After renting this out of curiosity, and overall, wasting a very long 90 minutes out of my life, I feel like I need to comment on this. Keep in mind, this is a fair critique, nothing more, nothing less.

First off, I am not one to just get a movie based on the cover art. I read the back cover, and even though Joey Lawrence of Blossom fame (if you could call it that) was in it, I decided to give it a try, just for once, to pick a movie, that might be one of those that might just surprise me in being a good movie. This one wasn't at all. The cover of the box is, however, very well done in that in portrays a good movie (unfortunately, this movie is not inside the box). Though, to bash it would be senselessly in the same vein as the same mockeries you hear elsewhere of such B-movies. Oh, this one has all of the complaints of a non-fun B-movie (keep in mind, B-movies, in my opinion, can be really fun to watch), but, there is something about it that sets it apart from my 1 and 2 star ratings on this site. But before I get to that rationale, first the obvious complaints. The dialogue is horrible. The plot is just stupid. For a horror movie it is not at all scary. But, and I know, I am biting my tongue saying this, the acting wasn't that bad. I've seen a lot worse. As for the direction, it really wasn't that bad either, believe it or not. Though still amateurish, any attempts of a B-movie being 'stylish' differentiates it from a movie shot with a home video camera, and that is okay in my book, at least in that respect. From what I gathered, they picked a bunch of better than average-talented no-name, yet, attractive actors to star in this, spent the time to throw in some (keep in mind, the word here is 'some') snazzy direction, and some decent music and lighting. Trust me, to be fair, I've seen a lot worse. It looked like everyone involved wanted to make something out of this movie, but, despite many other flaws, the script has to be the biggest. Though, it wasn't as stupid as others I've witnessed on the screen (there are a couple, surprisingly crude jokes that are somewhat amusing...at least they're right with the times, that's all I'll say), it still had way too many groaners, and was way too predictable. I'll give the cast credit with what they had to work with, I know amateurs when I see them, and at least half of the cast ain't that. The dialogue is just stupid, and the situations, man, how lame. But, the thing that bothered me the most was the characters...most were lame as could be. So lame that there were a couple that you wanted to see die horrible deaths, yet, this never happens. What we get is a movie that isn't a horror film, isn't a suspense or thriller, isn't much of a teen comedy...what it is is simply, perhaps an idea that sounded good on the drawing board, but completely failed upon execution. These 90 minutes felt like hours upon hours, and when it ends, it is completely ass-nine.

Yeah, I didn't like this movie, but to call it complete crap would be unfair. It is crap, mind you, but, it is better than a lot I have seen over the years. Like I said, the acting, for a few of the characters was pretty good. But, unfortunately, that doesn't make up for a boring movie that will drain 90 minutes of your life that you will never ever get back. This isn't even one to get drunk and make fun of (i.e. one of those it is so bad it is good movies) b\c it takes itself so seriously, when it should know that the audience, given the cast and the non-mass produced title, has already given it two strikes against it. In my opinion, if a horror movie gets confused halfway through what it wants to do, becoming a slasher flick, though cheap (and I sure as hell ain't bashing slasher flicks, they're the most fun to make fun of), at least it can be entertaining. But no, there are no deaths or anything in this film, just stupid, pick up lines and improbable situations with too many characters who I wanted to see be vanquished due to their lameness. I give it a 3/10 stars, and that's pushing it. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Making a horror comedy that simultaneously is funny AND suspenseful is pretty much the hardest thing to accomplish in cinema. Only the truly great directors like, say, Sam Raimi ("The Evil Dead") can pull this off, so don't expect a new guy in the business to succeed. Fortunately for writer/director/producer Tony Shyu, he isn't overly pretentious and does never at one point attempt to make his film look like a genuine horror production. He merely puts the emphasis on the comedy factors, and although not always equally successful, at least he manages to keep "Tequila Body Shots" endurable. The film starts off as a typical high-school comedy, in the style of "American Pie", with stereotypical teenage characters that only have sex and booze on their minds, and it really takes a very long time before until the horror elements are mixed in. The plot centers on two groups of college friends (three male film students and the nerd they can't get rid off + three random girls) that mysteriously get invited to a Halloween party across Mexican borders. They encounter a spiritual doctor handing out all sorts of magic potions, party locations that vanish overnight and devilish voices in the background; all leading to the inevitably derivative and dull horror finale of reincarnation & vengeance from beyond the tomb. One of the girls turns out to be the mirror image of a Mexican duchess slain by her jealous husband nearly 100 years ago and only one of the boys – Johnny – can prevent that her soul will be taken to hell for all eternity. The horror elements of the story definitely miss their effect and the references towards the Greek mythology (the tale of Orpheus and the boat-ride to hell) are utterly misplaced. They're lost on the target audience of this type of film, anyway. Luckily enough, a handful of jokes and comical situations are entertaining enough to keep you alert. Particularly Ted's character is good for a couple of laughs, as he sees himself as God's gift to women even though he's the most annoying Star Wars nerd imaginable. The girls form terrific eye candy, but only the abnormally yummy Stephanie Arellano takes her top off, so the sleaze-factor of "Tequila Body Shots" isn't exactly impressive, neither. There's no gore or spectacular action sequences and the climax is so exaggeratedly happy & joyful it nearly made me feel miserable. NOT recommended, not even to the handful of teenage fans Joey Lawrence has left since starring in "Blossum". Yuck.

Now, this goes out to all those people who have given this film a bad review, come-one, it's not that bad! sure the script is weird and a little confusing but there are a lot more worse films out there. And i don't see why everyone is being so mean to Joey Lawrence, because in fact he's the best bloody thing in the whole god damn film. And come-one, he does look sexy when he gives that girl a body shot!! the film starts off being quite simple Johnny a shy film student gets an invitation from people he doesn't even know to a Halloween party in Mexico. sounds simple enough. but the night before he meets a beautiful girl Tamblyn, who seems to be haunted by a guy called Hector. As Johnny travels up to Mexico he's friends become very ill and stop at a stank house in look of aid, when they come across a old man claiming to be a doctor, he gives all of them some tequila. the two friends instantly feel better, and Johnny is hesitant, but he does in the end drink it and it allows him to read the mind of women. So this helps him find out whats going on with Tamlyn, so long story short Johnny ends up actually going into hell (that scene is actually quite funny!) And saves the day blah blah blah. so anyways i liked this film and i don't really care if you disagree!! he-he! Love ya B*****

Okay this movie was just plain awful. The plot is rediculous, The jokes aren't funny, and as for the acting well, the star of the movie is Joey Lawrance, enough said. I did however enjoy this movie because my friends and I just mocked it so horribally. Thats really all this movie is good for. You don't even have to be particularly clever or witty to do this either, the movie pretty much mocks itself. I can't imagine how incredibally boring it would be to watch this movie by yourself.

uh.. i wasted 90 minutes already so i will be concise...

ACTING: TERRIBLE SCRIPT: WORSE STORY: POINTLESS AND IDIOTIC

it is bad very bad, who makes this stuff?

It looked like it would be nice watch this as a joke, but even that made my brain hurt. It's the type of movie that makes you ashamed of the industry. Just think of all of the starving children that could have been fed with the money this CRAP used up... The time people wasted on watching this instead of doing something useful, like, watching paint dry. Even being drunk probably doesn't make this movie better (I wouldn't know, I only watched it once sober and am in no way meaning to do that to myself again).

I've found that watching this movie was only good for one thing - whenever one of my friends regards some movie as "the worst movie ever", I simply raise my hand and say - "Tequila Bodyshots."

It almost made me puke and I woke up the next morning needing an aspirin.

I am glad to have learned the following 1) tequila can cure anything, 2) that body shots can perform miracles, 3)Joey Lawrence is still alive, and 4) that dreams really can come true in America because apparently anyone will give anybody a bunch a money to make anything no matter how crappy it is.

I wish I could have found this somewhat funny but the acting was so bad and the story so weak that I just couldn't. What's sad is that in some ways this comes off as some sort of after school special regarding the evils of tequila use or something. Shame on you Joey Lawrence.

Joey Lawrence of 'Blossom' fame plays Johnny Orpheus, a film student accompanying his two moronic friends Al (Josh Marchette) and Paul (Nathan Anderson) on a road trip to a party in Mexico. During the trip, they pay a visit to "Doc" (Henry Darrow, 'The High Chaparral'), a medicine man with "magical" bottles of tequila. When Johnny drinks some, he acquires the ability to read minds, which comes in handy as he attempts to woo the pretty Tamlyn (Dru Mouser). Ultimately, he must rescue Tamlyn from a demented spirit named Hector (Rene L. Moreno).

This viewer figured that he would check this out, seeing that he is usually partial to B genre pictures, but this is terminally *lame*. A purported horror-comedy, it is *never* scary and *rarely* funny (although this viewer would be lying if he said that he didn't chuckle at some lines and moments). It has a pretty bad script (by director Tony Shyu), but the worst sin that "Tequila Body Shots" commits is forcing the viewer to spend time with Al, Paul, and super-aggressive film nerd Ted (Rob Benedict), three of the most aggravating, insufferable characters that a movie watcher should have to put up with. Ted is just the worst, a big fat annoying stereotype.

At the very least, the climax of the film, which takes place in "Hell", is somewhat interesting. It isn't great, at all, but it's certainly better than the balance of the movie. Lawrences' earnestness does help a fair bit, as well as the presence of the endearing Mr. Darrow. And it doesn't hurt that the ladies (also including Stephanie Arellano as Tina) are generally quite attractive.

My word of advice is that if you do feel like *you* want to give this movie a "shot", as it were, please keep your expectations low.

Three out of 10.

Lame.

The other night, my girlfriend and I were in our local video-rental place, and she picked this one out. In retrospect, letting someone who doesn't find The Simpsons funny pick a "comedy" wasn't such a great idea.

From start to finish, Tequila Body Shots is boring, predictable, and decidedly NOT funny. I knew how it was going to end by halfway through, and the "acting" (if one can even call it that) is horrible. Joey Lawrence seems to think that acting permanently worried makes up for lack of actual talent. Also, just a little bit of research would have gone a long way. There are stupid errors all over the place, ie: they go to Mexico and drink tequila with a worm, which is just ridiculous, as any tequila drinker knows.

Seriously, don't waste your time on this one. In terms of movies, I'm generally pretty easy to please, and often not-very-good films entertain me, but this one was really, really bad. Get yourself a bottle of 'Cuervo Gold and drink yourself silly. Praying to The Porcelain God will prove more entertaining than this stupid film, that's for sure.

Upon reading the other user comments about this film, I am left to wonder if any of them actually WATCHED the movie. Or maybe there's some other mysterious movie with the same name that was actually good. But I digress...

This film, if you were to call it that, is atrocious in all areas. The acting is forced and wooden, the directing is confused at best, and absolutely nothing is cohesive and sensical. Perhaps my least favorite facet, though, was the writing. The diologue was strained and unnatural.

All of that being said, I will give this film the benefit of the doubt... it's really great to watch and make fun of with your friends. Still, this movie gets only a 1/10, only getting the one because of how funny it is to watch.

A great readaptation of the old Greek myth of Orpheus set in contemporary time. This movie has all the elements of a great story, love, death, reincarnation, spiritualism, and of course, just plain fun. The actors are well cast and they interact great. The DVD has extra discussions with the cast, crew, and director. It is a great movie especially for the Halloween season.

If this movie even tried to take itself seriously, it would be a train wreck. But it doesn't, and because of that, it's fun. The plot is loose, there's a bunch of badly developed characters, but who cares? It's completely fun, it has a completely wacky style to it, and it's well presented. Go ahead and enjoy it...there's way worse cinema out there.

OK this movie is comming to DVD on Sep. 25th 2001! I can't wait till that date! This movie is really funny at times and just plain old silly. It's a start for the really talented Joey Lawrence(Johnny Orpheus). It's a not stop party atmosphere and it's get better as the silly plot goes on. The real snand out in this movie is Nathan Anderson(Paul). He is so funny and his other buddy Josh Marchette(Al) has some funny lines also. If you do pick this video up it's a great rent and to own. I really loved it and also Tony Shuy who directed it has a real future in movies if he wants too. The plot is just about 3 guys and 3 women who are invited to the party of the century in Mexico and Johnny takes a tequila body shot and all of a sudden he can see andknow what women want(In there minds). It's pretty coiol and all Johhny want's is a pretty girl named Dru Mouser(Tamlyn), who has the same gifts. The suppoting cast is fresh and funny and sexy! So just pick up this great film that has parties and girls and just plain old fashion fun! It's a weird movie but I liked it. Out of 4 stars I give it 3 1/2. Buy it.

I kind of wondered why this movie currently has 9 votes (not including mine). but anyway, my comment:

It's actually pretty good. College or so guys, college or so girls off to Mexico to find themselves trap in a reincarnation of people who lived in the 1920s. Two people who can hear voices of dead guys who lived years and years ago. And of course, a twist. And body shots (lemon, tequila, salt etc.) were used to revive the person "in between life and death".

Intrigued? You have to see it for yourself. It's a good movie.

Joey (or now Joesph) Lawrence has been (desperately) looking for a comeback movie, but if he keeps making movies like this no one is going to give him a shot. It may look a little better than most low budget horror flicks, but the story is awkardly set up and can be hard to follow at times. I think the film had the right idea; supernatural horror mixed with lush romance and a dash of spice, but the mythology comes off as silly and since this plays such a big role in the film, it ruins the rest.

Confusing, dull and poorly made film about a college student having to go to hell and rescue the woman he loves from her abusive boyfriend from a past life. Awful effects, weak & laughable premise, inept dialogue, routine performances, half-hearted direction, and lame sets are just a few of its problems. Rated R; Sexual Situations, Violence, and Profanity.

This movie is by far the worst movie ever made. It's scary that someone looked at this script and said "Hey, this looks like a good movie to have on my resume." It's sad that some company put forth money for the production of this movie as well. This movie is so horrible, it made me vomit. Anyone who thought this was a genuinely good movie is a complete idiot. This is one of those movies that you rent because you want a good movie to make fun of with your friends. That is about all it is good for. Terrible acting, terrible story, terrible setting, terrible everything. If i could give this movie 2 thumbs down, I would, but I don't want to waste energy in turning my hand over and extending my thumb on a movie so utterly disgusting. Joey Lawrence has to be the worst actor I've ever seen. That is all I have to say.

While "Tequila Body Shots" ranks in my personal top five worst movies ever made, it is definitely memorable. A film so wretched Jim Varney would have winced, it raises the question "who gave this tripe the greenlight?" That being said, it was impossible for me to turn away. I caught the movie inadvertently on cable and could do nothing but follow it through to its bitter end. The effects, the acting, the final denouement involving the movie's namesake all coalesce to make a cinematic masterpiece in shame. Joey Lawrence has grown up, and after doing that movie should have thrown up. Worth watching just to realize that every other movie you thought was bad actually wasn't THAT bad.

The stupidest f*ckin' film ever. It physically hurts. I can't believe I actually saw what i did. Someone somewhere got fired for saying yes to this unbelievably horrid piece of dung. i feel like punishing myself for not killing myself 10 minutes into it.

In fact, I STILL feel bad.