Man on the Moon (1999)

Danny DeVito: George Shapiro

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Shapiro : Andy, you have to look inside and ask this question: who are you trying to entertain - the audience or yourself?

• George Shapiro : You're insane, but you might also be brilliant.

• [At a meeting with the NBC executives] 

  George Shapiro : Andy Kauffman is Tony Clifton. And Tony Clifton is Andy Kauffman. They'll deny it up and down, but believe me, it's true!

• Andy Kaufman : I'm going to the Philippines.

  George Shapiro : The Philippines? What's in the Philippines?

  Andy Kaufman : A miracle.

• George Shapiro : Your material doesn't exactly transfer to film.

• George Shapiro : So what do you have here? A big, elaborate joke that's only funny to two people in the universe... you and you.

• Andy Kaufman : I feel like I'm being surrounded by negative energy.

  George Shapiro : You're surrounded by what you create. Andy, you're the king of negative energy.

• [after sitting through Tony Clifton's show, a reluctant George Shapiro is requested to a private venue with Clifton, who is busily eating a pasta dish] 

  George Shapiro : What do you want?

  Andy Kaufman : [Clifton pulls down his sunglasses to reveal he is actually Andy in makeup]  Just a little friendly conversation, George.

  Tony Clifton : [Kaufman switches back to Tony's voice]  You hungry? You look thin!

  [singing to himself in tune of "Funiculi Funicula"] 

  Tony Clifton : Italiano, cacciatore Scaloppine, pasta fagiol.

  George Shapiro : I don't understand this act.

  Andy Kaufman : It's just good old-fashioned entertainment, George. Everyone loves a villain.

  George Shapiro : What about that poor schlub you humiliated?

  [Bob Zmuda, in disguise as the poor schlub Shapiro just mentioned, arrives and takes a seat next to Andy] 

  Bob Zmuda : Hey, man, excellent show. That was a great show. That was awesome.

  Andy Kaufman : George, this is my writer and old friend, Bob Zmuda.

  Bob Zmuda : [shakes hands with Shapiro]  Hey, George, how are you? I'm Bob.

  Andy Kaufman : He's very creative.

  Bob Zmuda : I'm the brains behind this operation.

  Andy Kaufman : Yeah, dream on. He once faked a lion escaping from the Chicago Zoo.

  Bob Zmuda : This was fantastic, George. We got like 50 actors tearing through the zoo. And they're all screaming

  [sounding panicked] 

  Bob Zmuda : There's a fucking lion, man, a lion!

  George Shapiro : Your name's not Gorsky.

  Bob Zmuda : [peels off fake mustache]  Don't believe everything you hear, George.

• George Shapiro : How is this gonna make you the biggest star in the world?

  Andy Kaufman : George

  [coughs] 

  Andy Kaufman : , at this point the audience expects me to shock them all the time. But short of faking my own death or setting the theater on fire, I don't know what else to do. Because I've always gotta be one step ahead of them.

• [a producer at Taxi wants to fire Tony Clifton, but he needs Andy's permission to do so. He has George call Andy who is supposedly doing a concert in San Francisco. As Tony continues to cause chaos on the set, Andy's voice comes through on the other line] 

  George Shapiro : Hello, Andy. I'm here with Ed over at Taxi.

  Andy Kaufman : Hi, Ed.

  Ed. Weinberger - 'Taxi' Producer : Hi, Andy.

  Andy Kaufman : How are you?

  Ed. Weinberger - 'Taxi' Producer : I'm fine.

  George Shapiro : There's been some trouble with Tony.

  Andy Kaufman : [sounding genuinely shocked]  Oh, no! Did he get hurt?

  George Shapiro : No, Andy, it's nothing like-- No.

  Andy Kaufman : Did he hurt someone else?

  Ed. Weinberger - 'Taxi' Producer : No, it's not that. Andy, the reason I'm calling you like this is... I have the utmost respect for your artistry.

  Andy Kaufman : Well, may I say that I've always appreciated that, Ed.

  Ed. Weinberger - 'Taxi' Producer : Thank you. But you see, in this instance... I have to ask your permission to fire Tony.

  [Andy is in fact backstage at Taxi in full Tony Clifton costume and makeup. He covers the speaker of the telephone and jumps up and down with joy] 

  Andy Kaufman : [resumes shocked tone]  Oh, my... George, this is gonna kill Tony. He's waited for this his whole life.

  George Shapiro : There'll be other shots.

  Ed. Weinberger - 'Taxi' Producer : Yeah, we have to do this. He's just a terrible actor.

  Andy Kaufman : Okay. But please let him down gently.

  [Smash cut to...] 

  Tony Clifton : FUCK YOU! I'M NOT GOING!

  Ed. Weinberger - 'Taxi' Producer : We had a deal.

  Tony Clifton : I don't know who you talked to. You must have talked to someone else!

  Ed. Weinberger - 'Taxi' Producer : [angrily]  I was talking to Andy Kaufman!

  Tony Clifton : I DON'T KNOW NO ANDY KAUFMAN!