Small Soldiers (1998)
Tommy Lee Jones: Chip Hazard
Photos
Quotes
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Major Chip Hazard : Are you scared? We're all scared. You'd have to be crazy not to be scared.
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Major Chip Hazard : I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning.
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[while pulling the X-1000 chip from the deceased Nick Nitro's head]
Major Chip Hazard : A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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Chip Hazard : We are the Commando Elite. Everything else is just a toy!
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Major Chip Hazard : You've got a lot of guts. Let's see what they look like.
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Major Chip Hazard : It's a small world after all.
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Chip Hazard : His battery has run out but his memory will keep going, and going, and going.
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Chip Hazard : Nick Nitro's battery has run out, but his memory lives on.
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Chip Hazard : Soldiers, no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by being all that he can be. Damn the torpedoes, or give me death! Eternal vigilance is the price of duty. And, to the victors go the spoils. So remember: you are the best of the best of the few and the proud. So ask not what your country can do for you, only regret that you have but one life to live! The war against the Gorgonites will be won! Commando Elite, let the first shot be fired! Search out the Gorgonites and frag 'em all!
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Major Chip Hazard : Damn the torpedoes, or give me death.
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Chip Hazard : We have met the enemy, and he is you.
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Major Chip Hazard : We're not toys, we're action figures!
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Major Chip Hazard : If it lacerates or detonates, I want it mobile and I want it lethal.
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Major Chip Hazard : An officer and a gentleman does not strike a lady!
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Major Chip Hazard : [looks at the Commandos] Commandos! Ten-hut!
Major Chip Hazard : [they started waking up] Commando Elite, fall in!
[they started to get out of their boxes, as they started hoping in line]
Major Chip Hazard : [he gives command to the soldiers] Sound off, soldiers!
Butch Meathook : Butch Meathook, sniper. Lethal from any distance, sir.
Major Chip Hazard : Good to have you aboard.
Nick Nitro : Nick Nitro. Demolition is MY mission.
Major Chip Hazard : Served with your father. He's a good man.
Brick Bazooka : Brick Bazooka, artillery. Ready to go full bore, sir.
Major Chip Hazard : Save it for the enemy.
Link Static : Link Static, communications. Awaiting dispatch of orders, sir.
Major Chip Hazard : Double up on your rations, Sparky.
Kip Killagin : Kip Killagin, covert insurgent. Sharp as a razor, sir.
Major Chip Hazard : Let me see that weapon.
[he hands over the weapon, then breaks it]
Major Chip Hazard : Standard issue is insufficient.
Major Chip Hazard : [starts giving command] All right, ladies. Now listen, and listen good. Our mission: Destroy the gorgonite enemy. Defeat him.
Butch Meathook , Nick Nitro , Brick Bazooka , Link Static , Kip Killagin : Yes, sir!
Major Chip Hazard : There will be no mercy.
Major Chip Hazard : [to the Commandos] First, the area. Secure new arms! Commandos, MOVE OUT!
[they started moving out inside Alan's toy store]
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Major Chip Hazard : Yo maggot! An officer and a gentlemen does not strike a lady.
Brad : What?
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Archer : Major Chip Hazard.
Major Chip Hazard : Gorgonite scum!
Archer : Leave Alan alone. Your fight is with me.
Major Chip Hazard : You've got a lot of guts. Let's see what they look like.
[stabs Archer in the knee]
Archer : They're wires and metal, the same as yours.
[pulls knife out and attacks Chip, who grabs Archer]
Major Chip Hazard : We're nothing alike. You are programmed to lose!
[kicks Archer a few times]
Archer : I'm also programmed to learn.
Major Chip Hazard : Too bad you never learned to win. School's out, loser. Hyah!
[kicks Archer off the pole]
Major Chip Hazard : Victory is ours!
Alan : Have I got a shock for you.
[grabs Chip]
Alan : You stupid toy!
[jams Chip into the transformer, electrocuting him]
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Chip Hazard : Tell us what we want to know.
[starts turning on the machine, Alan hears Brick chucking]
Archer : I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.
Alan : Archer?
[Chip chuckles maniacally]
Chip Hazard : Where are the rest of the Gorgonite scum?
Brick Bazooka : We have ways of making you talk.
[continues turning on the machine]
Link Static : Come on, fella. Make it easy on yourself. If you tell us, we'll let you go.
Chip Hazard : It will go easier for you if you cooperate.
Archer : [repeatedly] I am Archer, emissary of the Gorgonites.
Chip Hazard : All right. Let's dispose of this garbage.
[still turning on the machine, Brick was still chuckling]
Butch Meathook : [they saw Alan turned on the lights] Hey, it's the kid.
Chip Hazard : Commandos, pull back! Retrograde movement!
[they started to jump down, Brick chuckling]
Brick Bazooka : Uh-oh!
[Archer was still captured and was gonna get killed]
Alan : Hey!
[Alan races back to rescue Archer]
