Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys (1996–1997)

Jerry Doyle: Captain Simian

Photos 

Quotes 

• Shao Lin : Captain, the fuel supply is at critical.

  Captain Simian : What? How did that happen?

  Shao Lin : If I recall, your words were, 'You see the fuel supply as half-empty, I see it as half-full.'

  Captain Simian : That was a JOKE!

• [repeated line, usually referring to the Orbitron] 

  Captain Simian : I've *got* to get that thing fixed.

• Captain Simian : Orbitron, how close are we to the nearest fuel depot in this galaxy?

  Orbitron : You should have thought of that before we left home!

• Captain Simian : [the crew picks the Captain up from the floor]  What just happened?

  Dr. Splitz : Excellent Captain! It would seem that as soon as you lost consciousness, the illusions dissipated.

  Captain Simian : Wonderful... my proudest moment...

• Shao Lin : Recording Sector 3879-B Captain.

  Captain Simian : Log the coordinates.

  Orbitron : No, no, no! Where's the feeling? These are coordinates! You want them logged. You NEED them logged. Try it again, and this time, make... me... CRY.

• Captain Simian : Orbitron, come with me.

  Orbitron : You like me, you really like me!

• [Trying to make aliens launch an attack] 

  Captain Simian : [On the P.A]  We are the Space Monkeys! Resistance is useless, your weapons are useless!

  Shao Lin : Captain, they may actually surrender.

  Captain Simian : [Thinks]  You're right.

  Captain Simian : [On the P.A]  That is, we *think* your weapons are useless.

• General Yot : We are no match for your advanced weapons. We surrender

  Captain Simian : [Slapping his forehead]  I don't *want* you to surrender! How can I convince you we come in peace?

  [Gor is poked with an electric prod and promtly turns into Gor-mungus and starts destroying the building] 

  Orbitron : Well, that certainly was convincing.

• [repeated line] 

  Captain Simian : [For no apparent reason]  Check!

• [repeated line] 

  Captain Simian : Strangely soothing.