Jakob the Liar (1999)
Robin Williams: Jakob
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Jakob Heym : Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" And the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday." Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" And she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."
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Jakob Heym : I believe we are the chosen people... but I wish the Almighty had chosen somebody else.
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Jakob Heym : Here's a book about Africa. You read this, you'll forget you're hungry.
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Lina Kronstein : Jakob, there are thieves in your apartment.
Jakob Heym : My apartment? What's to steal?
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Lina Kronstein : Tonight is Shabbat.
Jakob Heym : Great. We'll fast like every other night.
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Jakob Heym : Hunger for hope may be worse than hunger for food.
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Jakob Heym : I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
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Jakob Heym : A barber with a dull razor is like a blind moyl.
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Mischa : If you had one and didn't want anyone to know... ...the best way would be to say you had one... ...because no one owning a radio would be stupid enough to admit it. They'd leave you alone, which means.... What does it mean, Jakob?
Jakob Heym : I don't know.
Mischa : It means you've got a radio.
Jakob Heym : I don't have a radio.
Mischa : I understand.
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Jakob Heym : Stop torturing me. The Germans are already doing a fine job.
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Jakob Heym : Technically, they're retreating. But strategically, they're advancing.
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Jakob Heym : My name is Jakob Heym.
Miss Esther : The Jakob Heym? I imagined you much taller.
Jakob Heym : So did I.
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Lina Kronstein : What happened to your wife?
Jakob Heym : They *shot* her. Under a tree. I don't know what kind of tree it was. I didn't bother to ask.
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Jakob Heym : Oh, God of the Jews! Why didn't you make your people a race of mice?
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Jakob Heym : I don't want to see you playing with that cat. I certainly don't want to see you catch it and eat it. Any cat that lets itself get caught is sick.
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Mischa : You're hiding someone?
Jakob Heym : Yes. Why couldn't you think this quick in the ring?
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Lina Kronstein : Does that mean it's nearly over?
Jakob Heym : [imitating Winston Churchill on the *radio*.] That's a very good question.
Lina Kronstein : He heard me!
Jakob Heym : [imitating the BBC radio announcer.] We remind listeners not to ask questions... as that interferes with reception. And please don't look at the radio!
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[last lines]
Jakob Heym : But maybe it wasn't like that at all. Because you know, as Frankfurter says, "until the last line has been spoken, the curtain cannot come down".
Rosa : Mischa!
Jakob Heym : About 50 kilometers out of town, the train was stopped by Russian troops, who had just taken Bizonika, and Pratt...
[national anthem proudly playing]