Striptease (1996)

Ving Rhames: Shad

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chico : Are you Ms. Grant?

  Erin Grant : [sarcastically]  No, I'm Barbara Bush.

  Chico : [to Shad]  And you are?

  Shad : George Bush.

• Nico : What are you, nuts?

  Shad : Yeah, psycho. Delusions of invincibility combined with a strong homicidal urge. I have a kick-your-ass fetish.

• Orly : What do you know about Prozac?

  Shad : It makes you happy. There's side effects.

  Orly : Like what?

  Shad : Limp noodle.

  Orly : Who cares? I haven't had a hard- on since I started running this place. Closest I got was Sea World. Porpoise got me hot.

  Shad : What the fuck you telling me that for?

• Shad : You talk to her?

  Erin Grant : Darrell's phone's disconnected. I think he moved again.

  Shad : You know, I'd embrace the opportunity to maim his white ass up.

  Erin Grant : I know you would, and that's really thoughtful, but I don't think it would help my case in court if I had him attacked.

• [Shad appears besides Erin's car while Darrell is holding her at knifepoint inside it] 

  Shad : Drop the knife! You got 'til three. One...

  Darrell Grant : Suck my dick!

  Shad : Whip the little fella out. Two...

  Darrell Grant : [brandishes the knife at Shad]  This here's a domestic squabble...!

  [Shad seizes his knife hand and wrenches his arm over the window jam, snapping the bone. Darrell screams] 

  Shad : Three.

  Darrell Grant : You broke my arm!

  Shad : You sure?

• Erin Grant : [Shad has just put a roach in a container of yogurt]  So, this is the new brainstorm, huh?

  Shad : Accordin' to the Wall St. Journal we got here the hottest selling yogurt in the country. I bring this in, say my hair fell out from the shock. BOOM! They pay off big time. My lawyer thinks it's a genius idea.

  Erin Grant : Your lawyer has an office over a video store.

  Shad : Call me a dreamer. I don't wanna be a bouncer forever.

• Alan Mordecai : Do you follow politics, Mr. Shad?

  Shad : Do I look like I follow politics?

• Shad : "Free Willy" back yet?

  Video Clerk : Still out.

  Shad : People are pigs! Sit on movies like they own 'em!

• [about going after Erin without police backup] 

  Shad : So we're it? A cop and a bouncer?

  Lt. Al Garcia : Plus two strippers and a kid. We're in great shape.

• Lt. Al Garcia : [about Erin]  Dilbeck didn't invite her back?

  Shad : She said no.

  Lt. Al Garcia : Well, that's good. Because I don't think she should go back there, even with you. And what was with her tonight? She seemed edgy.

  Shad : She got her moods, man. Could be that time of the month.

  Lt. Al Garcia : So now you're the gynecologist-bouncer, bouncer-gynecologist?

  Shad : Hey! I just watch out for the girls.

  Lt. Al Garcia : Wow... so do I. That makes a grand total of two people in the entire state of Florida. Because the higher-ups in my department, they're not exactly pushing this investigation. Is any of this making sense to you?

  Shad : Because of this asshole Congressman.

  Lt. Al Garcia : Bingo! We've got two homicides here, and nobody gives a shit except you and me. And I'm worried about that girl. She's all alone out there.

• [Orly hires Lorelei and her trained python away from the Flesh Farm, only they send the snake's dead body] 

  Orly : Here, go rustle up a new snake.

  Shad : Where, the AM/PM? Who the fuck carries pythons at ten o'clock at night?

  Orly : There's an all-night snake farm on Route 27. Ask for Jungle Juan. And get rid of that thing! God, I hate this business! You know why? It's lost its humanity.

• Lt. Al Garcia : [in the morgue]  Now here comes that brilliant and charming attorney of yours, Mr. Mordecai. Found him 400 yards offshore. Now show him the rest of his kisser.

  Medical Examiner : [uncovers Mordecai's face]  Crabs find lawyers a particular delicacy, yeah.

  Shad : Looks like lasagna. Cover that shit up.

  Lt. Al Garcia : You mind telling me why your name was on his calendar for tomorrow?

  Shad : I was involved in a litigation with a yogurt company.

  Lt. Al Garcia : Just based on my limited experience, this doesn't look like the sort of thing a yogurt company would ordinarily do. You know, I hear this prick represented the same poor kid who got mauled at your club. Now that I find fascinating, Shad!

  Shad : He had a picture...

  [retching] 

  Shad : Man, I'm gonna lose it!

  [the coroner starts to cover Mordecai's face, Garcia stops him] 

  Lt. Al Garcia : A picture of what? A certain legislator?

  Shad : Yeah... beatin' the kid's ass.

  Lt. Al Garcia : And where's the original?

  Shad : I got no idea.

  [the coroner covers up Mordecai, Garcia hands Shad a box of mints] 

  Lt. Al Garcia : Here, freshen up. Thanks.

  Medical Examiner : Can I interest you in dessert?

  Lt. Al Garcia : No, just the check.

  [the coroner laughs and wheels Mordecai away]