The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

Geena Davis: Samantha Caine (Charly)

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Charlie : Chefs do that.

• Caitlin Caine : Mommy, am I gonna die?

  Charlie : Oh, no, baby, no. You're not going to die. They are. Cover your ears. Hey, should we get a dog?

• Charlie : Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?

  Mitch Henessey : I took lessons.

• Samantha : Easy, sport. I got myself outta Beirut once, I think I can get outta New Jersey.

  Mitch : Yeah? Well, don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.

• Charlie : Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

  Mitch Henessey : I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.

• Charlie : Die screaming motherfucker.

• Charlie : Life is pain. Get used to it.

• Mitch : I'm goin' in.

  Charlie : You can't there's too many of them.

  Mitch : Well kill them for me, bitch! What else you good for?

• Charlie : I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it.

  Mitch : Well why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass.

• Mitch : Oh, shit! Ah, that hurt like shit!

  Samantha : I know. That's why I distracted you first. Same principle as deflowering virgins.

  Mitch : Huh? What? Virgin - ? What?

  Samantha : Read it in this Harold Robbins book. Guy bites her on the ear. Distracts from the pain. Ever try that?

  Mitch : No, no, I sock 'em in the jaw and yell, "Pop goes the weasel."

• Mitch Henessey : [singing]  Putting the keys in my left pocket. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Gun in the right-hand side.

  Samantha Caine : It makes a bulge, people can see.

  Mitch Henessey : Ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?

  Samantha Caine : Now you're a sharpshooter?

• Charlie : ...It ain't over. You're going to die screaming... and I'm going to watch. Am I telling the truth?

• Mitch : [singing to the song "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight" on the radio]  I'm not talking 'bout the linen... And I don't wanna change your life...

  Samantha : Movin' in.

  Samantha : Huh?

  Samantha : It's not linen. The song's not about linen.

  Mitch : Whatever. You cold?

  Samantha : I'm freezing.

  Mitch : Turn on the heater. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise which distracts from the cold.

  Samantha : I'll pass.

• Mitch Henessey : We jumped out of a building.

  Nathan : Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo.

  Charlie : You're Waldman.

  Nathan : No, I'm the Hill Brothers bean buyer. Who else would I be? Hang on. If you want me to talk in front of him, you may be asked... to kill him later. It works for me. Your call.

• Charlie : Goddamn it. You're early. So Perkins wants me dead, huh? What's the rush? Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight? Shoo.

  Alley Agent : Hey, honey, this is a real big fucking gun.

  Mitch Henessey : This ain't no ham on rye pal.

  Charlie : What the hell are you doing?

  Mitch Henessey : Saving your life. I would have been here sooner, but I was thinkin' up that 'ham on rye' line.

• Mitch : And what about your daughter, what's her name... Cathead?

  Samantha : Caitlin.

• Samantha : It's like I'm in goddamn prison. Do you know how that feels?

  Mitch Henessey : "YEAH. YEAH, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THAT'S LIKE. FOUR YEARS inside, Marion, Illinois. A REAL shithole. AND I'M NOT GOING BACK."

• Mitch : Sam... Ill be waiting for you to come and rescue me.

  Samantha : Be just a minute...

• Charlie : Suck my dick, every one of you bastards.

• Samantha : What happened?

  Mitch : I saved your ass. It was great.

• Charlie : I let you touch me, cowboy. I think I need a bath.

• [Charly jumps over a fence with a rifle and surprises Raymond] 

  Charlie : Good morning, Raymond.

  Raymond : Good morning, Miss Caine.

  Charlie : What have we learned about the dangers of smoking? Give it here. Thanks. Tell anyone you saw me... I'll blow your fucking head off.

• Mitch : [as Charlie comes on to him]  What's goin' on?

  Charlie : True love, shut the fuck up!

  Mitch : What you lookin' for? White lady seducing the black help? I ain't handsome, I ain't rich, and the last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel.

• Mitch Henessey : Question. You keep saying "I this", "I that". Like well

  [pause] 

  Mitch Henessey : it's like you don't need me anymore.

  Charlie : [looks at Mitch]  Good point.

  [opens passenger side door] 

  Mitch Henessey : Hey, hey

  [Charlie kicks him out of the car] 

  Mitch Henessey : HEY!

  [Mitch rolls a couple times and ends up on the sidewalk] 

• Samantha Caine : What, are you a Mormon?

  Mitch Henessey : Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a pack of Newport and drank three vodka tonics.

• Mitch : [after Mitch confesses that he's been in prison]  Eight years ago, I was an Atlanta cop. My partner and I worked this fraud case together. That motherfucker hated me! I forget why, but he did. Anyway, some bonds went missing from the evidence room, and, when someone called Internal Affairs and they went searching through my closet, lo and behold, what did they find?

  Samantha : The bonds. Your partner put them there, huh?

  Mitch : No, no, I did. I stole the damn things.

  [starts laughing, then after a long pause Samantha starts laughing. then another brief pause] 

  Mitch : . I never did one thing right in my life. Now that takes skill.

• Charlie : Oh honey, only four inches?

  Timothy : You'll feel me.

• [Nathan says that Samantha Caine was a fantasy] 

  Charlie : No. It's not a fantasy. I'm in the goddamn P.T.A...

• Luke (A.K.A. Daedalus) : Torture, yes, a woman's face never looked so quite beautiful as when it's distended in pain, witness the beauty of child birth.

  Samantha : Untie me and ill make any face you want.

  Luke (A.K.A. Daedalus) : Let's not and say we did.

• [while Mitch is creeping towards the truck to rescue Caitlin, Samantha covers him with a rifle. Two thugs appear and aim their guns at him, she takes them out quickly] 

  Mitch : Gracias.

  Samantha : De nada.

• Charlie : You couldn't hit a lake if you were standing on the bottom.

• Alley Agent : Good evening, pretty lady. How 'bout some company?

  Charlie : No thanks. I'm saving myself 'til I get raped.

• Charlie : They're gonna blow my head off, you know. This is the last time I'll ever be pretty.

• Samantha : I know he has a pin in his leg, car accident. I... I know he cuts his own hair. He doesn't even own a TV. He... he sits when he pees...

  Mitch : Hey, hey, hey. That's enough, I'm gettin' a boner here, all right?

• Caitlin Caine : I can't!

  Samantha Caine : Yes you can. You're one of the X-Men!

• Samantha : Can I ask you something? Well, you seem kinda... low rent. No offense.

  Mitch : [chuckles]  None taken.