This motion picture is protected under the laws of the United States and other countries. Unauthorized duplication, distribution or exhibition may result in civil liabilities and/or criminal prosecution. Now, imagine yourself in jail, surrounded by a bunch of muderers and thieves, and having to explain, that you're in the Big House for illegally duplicating, distributing or exhibiting a movie. Save yourself the humilation.
The characters and events depicted in this motion picture are fictious. Any similarity to actual persons, wether living or dead, is purely coincidential. In other words, if you're a sexist playboy named Joey residing on Long Island, you can't sue us. And you should probably grow up and start treating woman as equals, not as mere sex objects. So there.
No animal was harmed in the making of this film and no knee was actually humped under the blankets
The Joey Fortone Cookbbok featuring "Cloud-Like eggs" amd "Marble Stew" is available in finer bookstores everywhere
Smooth operator: Sage
Elijah: Jackson Thayer
Schlepper: Rhonda Pearl
Sleeper: martin Beverly
Pooper: Shane Matilija
Pinker: Michael Sancola
Lead man formally known as: Brian Rooney
Head mensch: Bruce David Eisen
Body mensch: Peter Block
Swing set: Jungle Gym
Swingers: Cluny and Janes
Editorial mascot: Elephanthead wad of tape
Special Thanks to: JKM dark trick victims - past, present and future
Model Dater: Jonathan Komack Martin
Models Jonathan would like to date: Vera Cox, Cindy Crawford, Angie Everheart, Verdela Kinselbom, Teal Lachlan, Manon, Rebecca Romijn, Claudia Schiffer, Christy Turlington, Fredrique Vander Wal