Mallrats (1995)

Art James: Game Show Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brandi : Suitor number 3, is your kiss like a soft breeze, a firm handshake or a jackhammer?

  Gil Hicks : Definitely a jackhammer, I'm in there with some pressure and when I'm done, you're not the same as before. You're changed.

  Brodie : Where do you come up with this shit? That's the cheesiest response to an honest question I have ever heard. I saw you kiss and it wasn't anything like that.

  Bob Summers : [Chuckling]  Suitor #2, you'll have to wait until you're addressed before you respond.

  Brodie : Richard Dawson, why don't you just go back to your podium until it's time to play The Feud. All right?

  [Audience laughs] 

  Gil Hicks : Who the hell did you see me kiss?

  Brodie : Some dude backstage. I don't know who he was but he seemed unimpressed.

  Gil Hicks : I didn't kiss any guy backstage. I swear. I'm not gay.

  Brodie : Hey, Suitorette, this guys a homophobe. You heard how repulsed he sounded. Is this the kind of guy you want to spend a vacation with? This hate-monger?

  Gil Hicks : I don't hate gay people.

  Brodie : So you love them?

  Gil Hicks : Yes. I mean no.

  Brodie : Textbook closet case self-loather. Can't be comfortable with his own sexuality.

• Bob Summers : Our first suitor goes to Marymount College where he majors in economics. Say hi to Doug Paging!

  Jay : DO IT DOUG!