Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)

Peter MacNicol: Renfield

Photos 

Quotes 

• Martin : [throwing Renfield back into his cell]  You'll stay in here 'til you rot!

  [locks door] 

  Martin : [Renfield starts sobbing and Martin comes in a second later]  Well, you're free to go!

  Renfield : Free to go? Why? How?

  Martin : Good behavior.

  Renfield : But I've only been in here for a moment.

  Martin : Well for that moment, your behavior was very good.

• Renfield : Yes, I'm schh-eduled to meet Count Dracula.

  Villager #1 : [horrified]  Dracula!

  Villager #2 : [horrified]  Dracula!

  Villager #3 : [horrified]  Dracula!

  Villager #4 : ...Schh-eduled?

• Renfield : [upon seeing two voluptuous vampire women - one rubbing a table seductively, the other rubbing the bedpost seductively]  My God! What are you doing to the furniture?

• Renfield : [Renfield has been caught peeping at Lucy, and is being thrown back into the Asylum]  I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything!

  Renfield : [Orderly who threw him in the cell leaves]  I saw everything.

• Renfield : [as the two Vampire brides climb into his bed]  What are you on about? What's all this then? Who are you people? I-I'll have you know that's my knee you're straddling!

  Renfield : [they start to gyrate on top of him]  No, Stop! Stop it at once! Oh! Ah... No, no this is wrong! This is wrong! This is wrong, do you hear me, wrong! this is-

  [He starts to moan] 

  Renfield : WRONG ME! WRONG ME! WRONG MY BRAINS OUT!

• Dracula : [in a dream walking about in the daylight thinking it's real]  It is so bright! So many colors! And the sun is so warm!

  [Spots a couple having a picnic] 

  Dracula : Hello, young lovers! I could not help but smell your lovely picnic. Could I presume to ask you for a piece of your chicken?

  Young Lover at Picnic : Surely, sir!

  Lover at Picnic : Some wine, sir?

  Dracula : I never drink... wine. Oh, what the hell. Let me try it.

  [Takes a drink] 

  Dracula : It's good!

  Renfield : Master, master!

  Dracula : Renfield, look at me! I am drinking wine, and eating chicken!

  Renfield : Master, what are you doing out in the daytime?

  Dracula : Relax, Renfield, I am cured!

  Renfield : No, no you're not, look!

  Dracula : [Sees himself burning]  I made a mistake! I've got to get back to my coffin!

  [Starts running in place before waking up in his coffin screaming] 

  Dracula : It's nighttime! It wasn't real. I was... having a daymare.

• [Renfield is having breakfast with Dr. Seward. He sees a bug on the table and eats it] 

  Dr. Seward : I was just telling Ma... what was that?

  Renfield : Huh?

  Dr. Seward : You just grabbed something from the table.

  Renfield : I did not.

  Dr. Seward : Yes you did, I saw you, you put it in your mouth. I think it was an insect.

  Renfield : [thinks of an alibi]  Oh, that was a raspberry.

  Dr. Seward : Raspberry? We're not serving raspberries.

  Renfield : Then it must have been a raisin. I guess it fell off the muffin. See? There's one missing.

  [the two men laugh. Renfield sees a spider coming towards him, and he quickly eats it up] 

  Dr. Seward : How silly of me! It must have been my imagina... there, you did it again!

  Renfield : Huh?

  Dr. Seward : You just put a bug in your mouth. I think it was a spider!

  Renfield : I did not.

  Dr. Seward : Yes, you did.

  Renfield : I did not.

  Dr. Seward : Yes, you did.

  [this goes on for two and a half rounds] 

  Dr. Seward : [shouts]  I tell you I saw you snatch a spider right of the air and eat it!

  Renfield : A spider?

  [swallows the spider in his mouth] 

  Renfield : How absurd!

• Dracula : Renfield, you were having a nightmare!

  Renfield : A nightmare? But it was so real, so vivid. Two voluptuous women; grinding, heaving. I don't know how to describe it...

  [pause] 

  Renfield : Have you ever been to Paris?

• [still at the breakfast scene. A grasshopper jumps onto the patio. Renfield, intentionally, throws his fork] 

  Renfield : Oh! Dropped my fork!

  [Renfield gets on all fours and scrambles under the table for the insect] 

  Dr. Seward : Mr. Renfield, what are you doing down there?

  Renfield : Fork found!

  [comes back up] 

  Renfield : Sorry for the delay.

  [the grasshopper's leg is sticking out of Renfield's mouth, and wiggling about. Renfield looks at Dr. Seward, confused] 

  Dr. Seward : My God, man! You're eating insects right from the ground!

  Renfield : What makes you say that?

  Dr. Seward : I can see one trying to get out of your mouth!

  Renfield : Out of my mouth?

  Dr. Seward : Yes, out of your mouth! Your very own mouth and it's wiggling about!

  Renfield : Don't be ridiculous! Wiggling!

  Dr. Seward : I'm not ridiculous at all! It's wiggling all over the place! Poor thing is fighting for its life!

  [Renfield eyes the grasshopper's leg, and quickly scoops it up] 

  Renfield : I don't know what you're talking about. If you insist on ranting like this, I'm going to leave!

  Dr. Seward : Me, ranting? You're the ranter!

  [Renfield spots a fly] 

  Renfield : [to the fly]  Hello, little darling!

  [grabs the air in attempt to catch the fly] 

  Renfield : Don't be afraid!

  [laughs in a strange tone] 

  Renfield : I won't hurt you! All I want is your life!

  [Renfield does a body slam across Dr. Seward's lap, and knocks everything off the table] 

• Renfield : No! Not ANOTHER enema!

• [after he has inadvertently killed Dracula] 

  Renfield : Master... I'm sorry !

  [draws a smiley face in the ashes] 

  Renfield : There... you're starting to look like your old self again!

  [He breaks down crying] 

• Dracula : [after flying out the window to the ground below]  The field, hurry!

  [Renfield obeys and dives out the window, crash-landing on the ground below, then staggers disoriented to his feet] 

  Renfield : [Hobbles in pain]  Uuuhhhh!

  Dracula : Renfield... I meant for you to use the drainpipe

  [Points] 

  Dracula : I fly... You don't!

  Renfield : Oh yes, of course! He flies, I don't. He flies, I don't. He flies, I DON'T.

  [Hobbling off behind DRACULA] 

• Renfield : Master! Master!... I mean... Mister! Mister!

• Renfield : Yes MASTER!