Airheads (1994)

Michael Richards: Doug Beech

Photos 

Quotes 

• Milo : I'm gonna need you to come in tomorrow. I'm cutting loose a lot of dead weight. There's gonna be a lot going on here.

  Doug Beech : Oh, boy...

  Milo : Problem?

  Doug Beech : Well, I've been having a little bit of itching on my, um...

  [Milo waits] 

  Doug Beech : I mean, it could be hemorrhoids.

  Milo : I don't wanna hear that.

  Doug Beech : No, I know. It's just that I made an appointment with my proctologist to get some type of... cream or something.

• Carl Mace : You got any kind of training?

  Doug Beech : Well, I was in the Merchant Marines.

  Carl Mace : Marines. Yeah, I copy.

  [gets distracted for a moment] 

  Doug Beech : But, I was an accountant.

  Carl Mace : Nah, you won't be held accountable.