Airheads (1994)
Adam Sandler: Pip
Photos
Quotes
-
Rex : We're gonna take the cops up on those demands they wanted.
Pip : We got a killer list goin'.
Rex : Yeah, check it out. We ask for airplay and whatever else we want, then we demand a whole bunch of weird stuff. This way we can plead insanity later.
Chazz : Where'd this come from?
Rex : Pip's idea.
Chazz : Way to go, Pip.
-
Marcus : 22:23 White man with a gun. Same shit been happenin' to my people for 425-odd years.
Pip : Hey, man, you like working here? We're down, man, Hendrix was god.
Marcus : You wanna take a step back, man? You're standing on my dick!
Pip : Yeah, I seen that Antrax and Public Enemy. That was outta control, together, man. Did you catch that one, G?
Marcus : Don't call me G!
Pip : What do you want me to call you? Hey, come on, man.
Marcus : All right, that's it! l can't wait for you to put that gun down, cos when you do we're gonna throw down. That's right, we gonna get serious. Mano-a-swine.
Rex : Just shut your pie-hole and keep working.
Marcus : "Pie-hole." What's that, some kind of cracker slang?
-
Pip : I don't wanna go to jail. I'm fragile.
-
[Rex is trying to teach Pip how to intimidate the hostages]
Rex : [Punches Pip in the arm] I'm not scared, Pip. Come on.
Pip : I'm gonna stab your heads off!
Rex : [Prompting] With what? With what?
Pip : [yells] With my DICK!
Rex : Yeah!
Pip : Yeah! And blood's gonna come out of your head! And there's nothing you can do about it! Cause I'm a MAD MAN! Heh heh.
-
Pip : This is never gonna work.
Chazz : Pip, damn it, what is your problem?
Pip : You remember that guy Doper Greg? Remember that guy, man? He used to blow bong hits in his iguana's face and try to make the thing watch cartoons with him all the time.
Rex : So what? Will you shut up?
Chazz : Just get to the point? What?
Pip : Well, he won this radio giveaway, and when he went down to the station, they wouldn't let him in the building. It was, like, this total security building. They slid his tickets through this litle slot with, like, salad tong things.
Chazz : Oh, so just because that anus couldn't get in, does that mean that we can't?
Rex : Anybody gives us any static, I shove this in their face.
Pip : [Rex holds up his plastic gun and fires it at Pip and Chazz, laughing] Ahhh.
Pip : Yeah, but remember that fat kid on "Hard Copy" with a toy gun. The cops zapped him with a taser until he went bald.
Rex : And then he sued them for a million bucks when his pubes didn't grow in.
Pip : Still got no hair on his balls, man.
-
Pip : [as a small fire starts in an ashtray] PUT IT OUT!
-
[their first attempt at opening the back door fails]
Pip : Oh, man! We almost got in. That's too bad. Let's get goin'.
Rex : Hey, Pip, you backstabber, what, are you quittin' out on us?
Pip : What? The door's locked!
Rex : Aw, man, you're such a flake. You don't even care about this band, do you? You run around in your apartment all day in your fudgies.
Pip : That's not true.
Rex : It is, too. I always got to tell you to put pants on when somebody comes over.
Pip : [yelling] He's making this up.
Chazz : [yelling] Will you both shut up? Please, OK? You're brothers, all right. C'mon, man, we ain't locked out yet. Stay here, Pip.
[Rex slaps Pip]
Pip : [loudly] Ahh, you got a big mouth, man.
Rex : Hey, Pip...
[gives Pip the finger]
-
[Pip and Suzzi are seated on Milo's couch watching TV]
Suzzi : Pip? What are you thinking about?
Pip : Swimming pools.
Suzzi : Swimming pools, huh?
Pip : Yeah. I wish I was in one right now. The water's all clear and cool, and you spin around in there like an egg.
Suzzi : Do you have a girlfriend?
Pip : Mmm-mmm.
Suzzi : No? It's kind of weird us meeting like this, huh?
Pip : [Suzzi is about to kiss Pip] I don't know.
-
[the demo is briefly played on the air, but it's not played properly]
Chazz : Hey, what the did you do with it?
Ian : What did I do with it? Hey, I didn't do anything. Tonto must have loaded the tape in wrong.
Pip : Hey, your machine dilapidated it, man.
[suddenly, the demo is ruined by catching a fire]
