Super Mario Bros. (1993)

John Leguizamo: Luigi Mario

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sergeant Simon : Name.

  Mario : Mario.

  Sergeant Simon : Last name.

  Mario : Mario.

  Sergeant Simon : And you?

  Luigi : Luigi.

  Sergeant Simon : Luigi Luigi?

  Luigi : No, Luigi Mario.

  Sergeant Simon : Okay how many Marios are there between the two of you?

  Luigi : Three: Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.

• [In the police car, a wanted poster of Luigi and Mario flashes on a TV screen naming them Alien Plumbers] 

  Luigi Mario : Aliens? We gotta deal with aliens too?

  Mario Mario : Luigi, *we're* the aliens.

  Luigi Mario : We are? Wow, cool.

• [Lena has become fossilized into a wall] 

  Luigi : Wow, she sure makes an impression.

• [Mario and Luigi survey Dinohattan] 

  Mario Mario : This can't be Manhattan.

  Luigi Mario : I don't know, I haven't been to Manhattan in a couple weeks.

  Mario Mario : Must have been a bad couple of weeks.

• Luigi Mario : Nothing's impossible, you just gotta believe.

• [the Marios try to escape in a police car] 

  Mario : Where's the starter on this thing?

  Luigi : I got a feeling about this, Marioroni...

  [figures out the strange controls to start the car] 

  Mario : How do you know how to do that?

  Luigi : Cuz I been sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's what.

• Luigi : It is an honor to meet you sir, and a pleasure, and I just wanna thank you for all your help.

  Mario : Come on, Luigi. You'll be talking to the mildew in the shower next.

• Luigi : [after learning that Daisy was abandoned as an infant]  You mean you don't know who your mother and father neither?

  Princess Daisy : No. What do you mean, "neither"?

  Luigi : Cuz, you see, Mario here brought me up. He's been like my mother my whole life.

  Mario : Hey!

  Luigi : [laughing]  Ok, ok, my father, all right? And my uncle, cousin, and everybody.

• Sergeant Simon : No one touches President Koopa.

  Luigi : [rubbing his eyes in pain]  You're Koopa? Well, you just said you were...

  King Koopa : One evil, egg sucking son of a snake. Did I lie?

• Luigi : Wow, you mean there were dinosaurs here in Brooklyn?

  Mario : Relax, Luigi. There used to be Dodgers here too.

• Mario : How we gonna get in there? I got two words for you: Im-possible.

  Luigi : Nothing's impossible, Mario. Improbable, Unlikely, but never impossible.

  Mario : I hope you're right.

• Mario : [drives towards a fork]  Which way?

  Luigi : Take the parkway!

  Mario : Right!

  [drives into a tunnel instead] 

  Luigi : [smiles]  Perfect, perfect.

  Mario : You said the parkway!

  Luigi : I know, but I wanted the tunnel, so I said parkway cuz I knew you'd go the opposite way I suggested! Ha!

• Luigi : Remember, trust the fungus.

• Luigi : Do you eat?

  Princess Daisy : Yes.

  Luigi : Dinner?

  Princess Daisy : Yes.

  Luigi : Tonight?

• [last lines] 

  Princess Daisy : [enters with combat fatigues and a big gun]  Luigi! Mario!

  Luigi : Daisy!

  Princess Daisy : You guys gotta come with me! I need your help!

  Luigi : Why, what's wrong?

  Princess Daisy : [cradles her gun and smiles]  You're not gonna believe *this*.

  Mario : I believe it.

  Luigi : You do?

  Mario : [chuckles]  I believe.

• Cop : [sees the Marios' tool belts]  Aha! Plumbers!

  Luigi : No, he is! I'm just apprenticing!

  Cop : Get in the car!

  Luigi : But I didn't do nothin'!

  Cop : Get in the car now!

  Mario : Are you tellin' us that you can arrest a guy for being a plumber? Get outta here!

  Cop : Get in there, plumber! Now!

  Cop : [shoves the Marios and Toad into the squad car] 

  Mario : Hey! What is this?

  Luigi : All right. What'd we do?

  Mario : I'm gettin' arrested for bein' a plumber!

  Luigi : Write his number down!

• Luigi : Hey, Mario! Right now on "Miraculous World", this guy just found out he was in another dimension.

  Mario : The only thing miraculous *I* know is that we're still eating while we're going broke.

  Luigi : We aint going broke, Mario, we're already there!

• Luigi : [trying to make conversation with Daisy after first meeting her]  A-are you ok?

  Princess Daisy : I got a few problems...

  Luigi : Well, you know, we got a van.

  Princess Daisy : [a little confused]  It's... nice.

  Luigi : No no, I'm asking you if you want a ride. Oh, but, uh... it's broken, though.

  Princess Daisy : ...well...

  [turns to leave] 

  Luigi : Your name's Daisy, isn't it? I-I overheard your name's Daisy. I've never heard that name around here. It's really nice, too. N-no, I *have* heard it cuz it's, like, the flower and everything... n-not that I hang around the flower shops or anything like that.

• [Mario and Luigi are chasing after Spike and Iggy as they drag Daisy through the entrance to Dinohatten] 

  Luigi : I'm gonna kill 'em!

  Mario : No, you're not gonna kill 'em, not if I get there first. I'm gonna break every bone in their body, and *then* I'm gonna kill 'em. I'm *really* gonna kill 'em!

• Mario , Luigi : Glug glug glug glug glug!

• Daisy : [after first date]  If you just want to end this right now, I would understand.

  Luigi : You know, I was going to ask you the same thing, if you want to end this right now, and you feel bad about that, but you want to talk to somebody about it, you can call me.

• Luigi : Let's go!

  Brooklyn Girls : Who are you?

  Luigi : Luigi Mario. What, you got a problem with that?

• Luigi : By the bar, that big lady with the red spikes took the rock.

  Iggy : Was she corpulent? Very corpulent?

  Luigi : No no, she was just really round.

  Spike : Ah-ha!

  [snapping fingers] 

  Spike : Big Bertha! The bouncer at the Boom-Boom Bar!

• Mario : If you 2 don't start talkin' we're gonna leave ya to these guys... for lunch.

  Luigi : Now, where's Daisy?

  Spike : No, no, no, no. Where's the rock, Scalywag?

  Luigi : Where's Daisy, Butt-Breath?

  Iggy : Where's the rock, Overweaning-Rogue?

  Luigi : Not till ya give us Daisy, Biscuit-Head!

  Spike : WHERE IS THE ROCK?

  Mario : SHUT UP!

• Luigi : [sees another Bob-Omb hanging on the fungus]  Look! Look! Look, another one!

  [a few Goombas enter the scene] 

  Luigi : Wait, wait, wait, wait, Mario. I think it wants me to take it.

  Mario : Stop fiddlin' with the fungus, and let's get outta here!

• [Entering the Boom Boom Bar] 

  Luigi : Isn't this a little bit feminine?

  Iggy : Yes, I know. It was my ex wife's.

  Mario : But you wear this stuff?

  Spike : Yes. On occasion, we have a... date.

  Mario : Who do you date, a canary?

• Luigi : [driving]  I've heard sea turtles travel thousands of miles on their own.

  Mario : Not in New York traffic, they don't.

• Luigi : I think it's trying to communicate with us...

  Mario : Luigi, it's a mushroom!

• Toad : You boys ain't from around here, are you?

  Mario Mario , Luigi Mario : Brooklyn.

• Luigi Mario , Princess Daisy : [after watching Mario, Daniella and the other prisoned girls escape and land right in front of them on a mattress, to each other]  Are you all right?

  Princess Daisy : [about Mario and the girls]  Are they all right?

• Mario : Treat your tools like a friend. Keep 'em by you. Lever let 'em down, and they're always at your side.

  Luigi : Hey, Mario, how is it that for every situation that could possibly come up, you always got a saying about tools?

  Mario : I got 'em from Papa.

  Both : He got 'em from Grandpapa!

• [Luigi has managed to get a dinner date with Daisy, thanks to Mario's help] 

  Mario : What would you do without your big brother, huh?

  Luigi : I'd like to take a chance and find out.

  Mario : Oh come on!

  Luigi : I was just about to ask her that.

  Mario : You weren't about to ask her nothing! You were gonna let her go!

  Luigi : Now she's gonna think I'm a complete idiot.

  Mario : Come on, you'll impress her with your manners.

  Luigi : Well why'd you tell her that I suck my thumb, huh?

• Princess Daisy : [Scapelli has flooded the fossil site]  Thank God you're here... I mean...

  Luigi : What do you mean?

  Princess Daisy : I mean, you're a plumber, right?

  Luigi : Oh, yeah! I don't know exactly what to do.

• Luigi : Wow, they were dinosaurs in Brooklyn?

  Mario : Relax, Luigi, there used to be Dodgers, here, too.

• Mario : [looks at a newspaper]  Are you spendin' money on this stuff? Look at this!

  Luigi : Yeah, but that's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls in it.

  Mario : Yeah? It's also got one on the scientist who turns brains into cheese.

  Luigi : Well, you don't know. It could happen.

  Mario : [laughs]  How could that possibly happen?

  Luigi : Anything's possible, Mario. You just gotta believe!

• Old Lady : Are you boys new in town?

  Mario : Listen, lady, we're looking for someone. And we're from Brooklyn.

  Old Lady : You know, boys, this is a really rough neighborhood. You really shouldn't be wandering around without a weapon.

  Mario : Yea.

  Old Lady : You got one?

  Luigi : ...No.

  Old Lady : ...All right...

  [brandishes a cattle-prod-like weapon] 

  Old Lady : [shouts]  Get 'em up, suckers!

• [Koopa has had Toad de-evolved into a Goomba] 

  Luigi : That's Toad?

  King Koopa : Why yes. Loyal, lethal... and stupid.