The Sandlot (1993)

Chauncey Leopardi: Michael 'Squints' Palledorous

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Squints : It's about time Benny, my clothes are going out of style.

  Yeah Yeah : They already are, Squints.

  Squints : Shut up.

• Smalls : Yeah, yeah but I was gonna bring it back.

  Squints : But it was signed by Babe Ruth!

  Smalls : Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she?

  Ham Porter : WHAT? WHAT?

  Kenny : The sultan of swat!

  Bertram : The king of crash!

  Timmy : The colossus of clout!

  Tommy : The colossus of clout!

  All : BABE RUTH!

  Ham Porter : THE GREAT BAMBINO!

  Smalls : [Panicked]  Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?

  All : YES!

  Benny Rodriguez : Smalls, Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived. People say he was less than a god but more than a man. You know, like Hercules or something. That ball you just aced to The Beast is worth, well, more than your whole life.

  Smalls : [Falls to the ground and clutches his stomach, groaning] 

  [Nauseated] 

  Smalls : I don't feel so good.

  [Smalls is almost about to vomit] 

  All : [They grow concern seeing Smalls almost about to vomit, so everyone except for Squints who uses his glasses Yeah Yeah who uses his glove and Tommy who uses both his arms and Kenny who also uses his arms, fan him with their caps]  Uh oh, fan him. Give him air, give him air.

  Smalls : [Feeling less nauseous]  We have to get that ball back.

• Squints : Where did your old man get that ball?

  Smalls : I don't know. Some lady gave it to him. She even signed her name on it. Some lady named... Ruth. Baby Ruth.

  All : [Surprised]  *Babe Ruth?*

• Squints : For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver! For-ev-ver!

• Ham Porter : [mimicking Babe Ruth with a cigar in his mouth; can't understand him]  Check this out. I'm the Great Bambino.

  Sandlot Kids : What?

  Ham Porter : [still can't understand him]  I'm the Great Bambino!

  Sandlot Kids : What?

  Ham Porter : [takes cigar out of mouth]  I'm the Great Bambino.

  Sandlot Kids : Oh!

  Smalls : Who's that?

  Smalls : [narrating]  I had no idea what they were talking about.

  Ham Porter : What did he say?

  Bertram : What? Were you born in a barn, man?

  Yeah Yeah : Yeah yeah, what planet are you from?

  Smalls : [narrating]  But there was no *way* I could let them know.

  Squints : You've never heard of the sultan of swat?

  Kenny : The titan of terror.

  Timmy : The colossus of clout!

  Tommy : The colossus of clout!

  Benny Rodriguez : The king of crash, man.

  Smalls : [narrating]  So, I lied.

  Smalls : Oh! The Great Bambino. Of course. I thought you said the great Bambi.

  Ham Porter : That wimpy deer?

• Ham Porter : [the kids are being chased away from the pool by the lifeguards after Squints kisses Wendy]  Oh, here's your glasses. Did you plan that?

  Squints : [puts on his glasses]  Of course I did. been planning it for years.

• Squints : I've been coming here every summer of my adult life, and every summer there she is oiling and lotioning, lotioning and oiling... smiling. I can't take this no more! Move!

  [Continues saying lotioning and oiling as he goes to the diving board] 

• Smalls : You were all leaving, so I thought I'd hop the...

  Squints : If you'da been thinkin you wouldn't 'a thought that.

• Squints : [Squints is about to tell a story]  Quiet! Are you trying to wake it up. It just went to bed!

  Smalls : [quite loudly]  What just went to bed?

  All : SHH!

  [whispering] 

  All : The Beast.

  Smalls : [louder]  Oh yeah!

  All : SHHHH!

• Squints : Come on, Benny. Man. The kid is a...

  [with his thumb and index fingers of both hands] 

  Squints : L, 7, Weenie!

  Yeah Yeah : Yeah. Yeah. Oscar Meyer even.

• Squints : [In the tree house, telling the story of the mutant dog who lives next door]  ... after a while the cops started getting calls from people reporting all the missing thieves...

• Benny Rodriguez : Where you guys been? We've been waiting here forever, already!

  Yeah Yeah : Ah, Squints was pervin' a dish.

  Squints : Shut up! I wasn't.

  Yeah Yeah : Yeah, yeah, you were! Your tongue was hanging out of your head! And you were swooning!

  [Mocking what Squints was doing] 

  Yeah Yeah : Oh Wendy Peffercorn, my darling lover girl!

  [laughs] 

  Squints : I said shut up! I got a lot of things on my mind!

• Squints : The kid is a L7 weenie.

  Yeah Yeah : Yeah, yeah - Oscar Meyer even. Footlong, dodger dog, a weenie!

  All : Ohhh haha

  Benny Rodriguez : What are you laughing at Yeah Yeah? You run like a duck!

  Yeah Yeah : 'Kay 'kay, but I'm... I'm...

  Benny Rodriguez : Part of the game right?

  Yeah Yeah : Mmm... Yeah?

  Benny Rodriguez : Now how come he don't get to be?

  Bertram : He's a geek, man

  All : He can't catch.

  Benny Rodriguez : [looks back at Smalls] 

  [Angrily to the others] 

  Benny Rodriguez : Man, base up you blockheads.

• Benny Rodriguez : [watching Wendy Peffercorn on the lifeguard chair putting on suntan lotion]  Oh, man!

  Yeah Yeah : Yeah, yeah. Too cruel.

  Timmy : She don't know what she's doin'.

  Tommy : She don't know what she's doin'.

  Benny Rodriguez : Yeah, she does. She knows exactly what she's doin'.

  Squints : I've swum here every summer in my adult life. And every summer, there she is. Lotion. Oilin'. Oilin'! Lotion. Smiling. Smiling! I can't take this no more! Move!

• Squints : It's about time Benny. My clothes are goin' outa style.

  Yeah Yeah : They already are, Squints.

  Squints : Shut up!

• Squints : Oh! Whoa! Geez, Louise.

  Yeah Yeah : What's a matter?

  Squints : Geez. Wendy Peffercorn. Mmmm. Whoa.