User Reviews

This is a children's movie, and there is just so much suffering within it!

The existence of this movie is centered entirely around one mistake: If Meeko never crashed to Earth there wouldn't even be a movie. It's incomprehensible how such a movie which is centered around one giant mistake has multiple mistakes running through it.

Nukie and Meeko are hideous space aliens, with sinus problems; they are two whiny, manic-depressive, creatures. They both look (and probably smell) like two deformed dwarfs who were dipped in a pool of excrement, and deep fried in a pressure cooker.

Because I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone but bad movie fans with high tolerance, or an adolescent whose stuck babysitting their younger sibling and looking for retribution, I will explicate the highlights of this movie.

As you have probably read about the plot elsewhere, Meeko and Nukie are flying around the universe; Meeko lands in Florida and abducted by not-NASA, and Nukie lands in South Africa. Nukie must try to find Meeko.

Throughout the movie Meeko is literally tortured by doctors, complete with probes in his abdomen. The plot in the first half the movie consists of Meeko SCREAMING back to Nukie for help, and replying to the doctors about how "Tranquilzers kill him". At one point Nukie is almost enjoying himself, when suddenly he's interrupted by his brothers howl " NUUUKIIIEEAAAAGGHHH!!!".

Nukie, throughout the movie says suicidal things such as: "I wish the Earth would shallow me up, I want to sleep" and " I hate this planet". There's a questionable scene where Nukie awakens by his brothers scream from a covered trench. Did Nukie dig himself a grave? His resurrection causes an earthquake.

Somehow a tribal Witch Doctor knows Nukie caused the earthquake. Nukie befriends a set of twins from the tribe. They tell him to go to the Witch Doctor to explain hes not a bad-god. Nukie gets the point across by breaking the tribes stuff and paralyzing people. The idiot angers the tribe into sending the twins out into the brush in a trial to see which one will live. Twins are bad luck or something for the tribe, plus the tribe saw them conversing with that hideous, fecal, bad-god, Nukie.

Nukie tries to console the twins through some out-of-sink dancing. The director and costume designer were complete morons to suggest such a midget could dance inside that suit, it's a wonder they could even move in that suit. The controls for the mouth didn't work, and the eyes blinked at separate times. Another thing, they tried to make Nukie look shorter by elongating the stomach over the thighs; he doesn't look shorter-- he looks like he's carrying a load in them pants!

Anyways, as the twins are stuck in the brush, one of them gets bitten by a snake, as Nukie runs to help, "The Corporal" fires tranquilizer darts into Nukies hollow crotch bump; thereby promptly rendering Nukie unconscious and causing one of the twins to shriek "You killed my friend!"

Towards the end-- in search for America, Nukie ends up going down two giant water falls, and yet some how manages to live-- he should have died, really he should have, why not? A twin thinks they found America-- it looks like war-ravaged quagmire. He screams "America help us".(Smart kid, it may not be America, but maybe the cause of it!) Nukie tells him it isn't, suddenly all is lost, but the twin wishes at the stars, and the long-winded tag-line about wishing to stars shows relevance.

Finally the Movie ends with a soppy end of gleeful tears; the snake bitten twin lives; Nukie reunites with Meeko, and a horrible, foul, ragged monkey LICKS THE SNOT OFF NUKIES FACE! Then, at the butt-of-the-end Nukie, Meeko, and the Monkey morph into things which appear to be three sperm cells flying into outer-space.

The audience was supposed to cry with joy with the characters, but you probably didn't or won't, because this movie fails on so many levels. Glynnis Johns should be given an Oscar for crying at the end of this movie, what acting-- she was probably crying for her career (sorry).

In a way I'm saddened that this movie didn't make it big, I would have loved to have seen a Meeko Operation Game which cries for help, or a Nukie plush which mumbles suicidal thoughts!

This is the biggest failure of all time. Even the moral of the story (the tag-line) is utterly meaningless and useless.

BTW the above rating is on a "it's so bad it's good" scale.

I recently watched this movie after reading all the user comments about Nukie. Some of these writeups had me peeing in my pants I was laughing so hard...especially the one guy who said, "I hate God for allowing Nukie to be made". That sold it for me. Call it perverse curiosity, if you will...the same curiosity that drives one to watch such films as Faces of Death or I Spit on Your Grave.

This movie is certainly atrocious, but I wouldn't say it's totally unwatchable. My friends and I regularly get together to have "Awesomely Bad Movie" viewings and make fun of them in Mystery Science Theater fashion. This one managed to keep the laughs rolling. I mean, a few people walked out of the room when the chimpanzee started talking, but that was perhaps the only lowpoint. The rest is just a pure mindnumbing, jawdropping, "what the f*ck?", knee-slapping good time.

I would like to comment, though, how much Nukie was pissing me off. He did absolutely NOTHING to help anyone in this movie. He terrifies the villagers by possessing vehicles with his powers, knocks pots and pans all over the place, causes earthquakes. How about when that kid got bit by the snake? Nukie didn't do sh*t about it. Yeah, he put on a good fireworks show, though. Or when him and the kid are travelling by foot for days, and then finally he gets the bright idea to turn them both into balls of light so that they can travel faster. Or what about the very end when they're reunited and then they turn into balls of light and fly off. Why the f*ck didn't they do that in the beginning? I seriously wanted Nukie and his brother to die in this movie. They are such disgusting-looking creatures. That scene where Nukie goes over the waterfall I stood up really excited hoping that he'd get killed. He survived though. Damn.

My one friend says, "This is absolutely the worst movie I've ever seen. This includes pornos". I want to force Rob Zombie to watch Nukie. I think it's the only thing that can possibly terrify him.

If, by grace of God, you were epileptic, Nukie might just trigger a seizure. This would hopefully prevent you from watching the rest of this film. There are certainly enough idiotic lens-flare light effects and crap. I saw "Nukie" as a child; my father had rented it and has since been convicted by the Hague.

From here on out, I'm not sure I can string together intelligible sentences to describe this film. It consists primarily of a disgusting little alien rushing around the desert, while his brother shrieks NUUUUUKEEEEEE approximately fourteen thousand times. Some kid gets bitten by a snake (cue stock "snake" footage). Nothing makes sense in this film. The snakebite at least limits the number of characters. These people spend their days rushing around shouting things like, "He's an alien made of PURE ENERGY!" Said alien just happens to look a bit like Grandpa, if you turned him inside-out. I can't stop crying. Even if you love campy movies, this one will break you.

Difficult to parcel this chaotic, incoherent piece of kiddie-corrupting garbage into discrete movements, but let's give it a try. In the first part, alien Meeko is endlessly tortured and mutilated by American scientists while his pal Nukie wanders around South Africa and mutters. In the second part, Nukie gets to know some talking monkeys, humorous tribesmen and their cute kids, a nun, a drunk, and Steve Railsback (probably also drunk). In the third part, Meeko is first hypnotized by, then befriends a talking computer, while Nukie disco dances. In the fourth part, the 'witch doctor' tries various strategies to kill Nukie, including running around in fast motion. In the fifth part we sit around absolutely for ever waiting for the movie to end, and the taking monkey licks the snot that has been running down Nukie's face for the whole movie. Throughout, the actors either shriek each others' names for minutes at a time, or talk and look like they've been hypnotized by a computer too. The aliens' mouths don't move, and their rubber limbs crumple and squeak when they are touched. I'm guessing Pakleppa got brought in after writer Odendal botched the job; it appears to have been edited by a lumberjack with the spins. Actually copyright 1989, which is important: not just because this is exactly the kind of film that sits around for four years before it gets released, but because it means that this South African production was completed before, not after, Mandela got out of prison. This means that the stuff about how the bloodthirsty tribesmen should heed the moral warnings of the wise nun were symptoms of apartheid in its decline, not impositions of the World Bank. Another advertisement for Western enlightenment occurs when a snake bites one of the kids and his brother cleans the wound; Railsback insists on taking him to the hospital so he can receive competent treatment; when he asks the nurse how the kid is doing in the next scene, she goes "I have no idea - but I cleaned the wound." Three cheers for whitey!

This movie is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Even the trailer was cringe worthy. The storyline is bad and the storyline is just like E.T.'s storyline. The effects are bad as well. Honestly, I hate this movie so much that I want to forget about it.