Addams Family Values (1993)

Nathan Lane: Desk Sergeant

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gomez : [shouting]  I demand justice! Someone has married my brother!

  Desk sergeant : [sarcastically]  No!

  Gomez : She took him to Hawaii!

  Desk sergeant : [cynically]  Get outta here!

  Gomez : They have moved into a large, expensive home, where they make love *constantly*!

  Desk sergeant : I hate when that happens.

  Gomez : Arrest her at once, without delay!

  Desk sergeant : Who?

  Gomez : Debbie. My brother's wife, the temptress of Waikiki!

  Desk sergeant : Who are you? What are you? Who moved the rock?

  Gomez : Officer, you must issue a subpoena. I believe they own...

  Morticia : Gomez, NO!

  Gomez : [shouting]  A Buick!

• Desk sergeant : [after being asked to arrest Debbie]  Just leave, leave quietly, leave now. Don't make me call Ringling Brothers.

  Gomez : [shouting]  Has the planet gone mad? My brother, passion's hostage. I seek justice - denied! I shall not submit! I shall conquer! I shall rise! My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil!

  [Grandmama waves Pubert in the air] 

  Gomez : I have seen horror!

  [Lurch waves] 

  Gomez : I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!

  Morticia : They're at camp.

  Gomez : I have seen all this, officer. But until today, I had never seen... *you*!

  Desk sergeant : Hook him, book him, cook him. *Now*!