The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991–1996)

Billy West: Stimpy, Ren Höek, Mr. Pipe, Salesman, Announcer, Mr. Horse, Mrs. Buttloaves, Shaven Yak, Ren Höek (some lines), The Announcer Salesman, Man, Policeman, Victor's Dad, Abraham Lincoln, Archie, Baby Crab, Bacon, Badger, Bank Reporter, Bats, Billy The Beef Tallow Boy, Blue-Crested Biddies, Bulldog Bouncer, Cats, Clam, Colonel Scrambolio, Crocostimpy, Cyclops, Doctor, Dogcatcher, Dr. Sloth, Dusty Claus, Egg Yolkeo, Elvis Presley, Evil Ren, Explodey, Explody, Filthy, Fly, Genie, Granny, Gray Dog Bouncer, Hideously Evil Ren, Hobo, Hotel Concierge, Indifferent Ren, Jughead, Lawyer, Liberoache, Louie Lungbubble, Magic Nose Goblins, Mailman, Man Eating Village Idiot, Millionaire, Mr. O, Mummified Bog Man, Myron, Narrator, News Reporter, Oaf, Old Man Hunger, Papa Crab, Pierre, Police Officer, Polly the Polyp, Poopy, Powdered Toast Man, Priest, Producer, Ren Beetle, Ren Flower, Ren Höek (one line), Ren Höek (segment: "Monkey See, Monkey Don't"), Ren Rex, Sammy Mantis, Seagull, Shady Brain Farm Workers, Stimpy's Nose, Stimpysaurus, Stinky, Sven Hoek, TV Announcer, Teenagers, Tex, The Ghost, The Grey Tufted Old Fogey, The Hermit Union Worker, The Leprechaun, The President, The Wily Tree Geezer, Toast, Various, Wildebeest, Yak, Zookeeper

Photos 

243 more photos

Quotes 

• Stimpy : Happy-happy, joy-joy.

• Ren : At last I have control of your TV set. Are you receiving me? Welcome to our secret headquarters.

  Stimpy : Thousands of miles beneath the earth's crust.

  Ren : Shut up you fool! How do we know we can trust them?

  Stimpy : We could make them take the oath!

  Ren : Perfect! The oath! Put your hand on the TV screen and repeat after me. I do hereby promise only to watch the Ren and Stimpy show. To make underleg noises during the good scenes. To wear unwashed Lederhosen every single day of the rest of my life! That's it, you're in our secret club! Alright Stimpy, they're OK. Show them the stuff.

  Stimpy : Congratulations...

  Ren : Shut up and show them.

  Stimpy : I'm showing them, I'm showing them. OK kids, its time for a secret cartoon!

• Ren : [afflicted with Space Madness and holding a bar of soap he's been chewing]  Oh, no! I know what you want! You coveteth my ice cream bar!

  Stimpy : Easy now...

  Ren : [shouts]  No you don't! You can't take it from me now!

  [starts to cry] 

  Ren : I've had this ice cream bar since I was a child. People... always trying to take it from me... why... won't they leave me... *alone*!

  [grabs a toothbrush] 

  Ren : [shouts]  Don't make me use this! One step closer, I'm warning you! Don't make me use it!

  [Stimpy takes one more step] 

  Ren : Now you've done it! You forced me to use it!

  [Brushes his teeth] 

• Narrator : How can he possibly resist the maddening urge to erradicate history at the mere push of a single button? The beautiful, shiny button? The jolly, candy-like button? Will he hold out, folks? Can he hold out?

  Stimpy : No I can't! Yeagh!

  [Pushes button] 

• Ren : Hey, Jasper. Where's Phil?

  Jasper the Pup : I told you, they put him to sleep.

  Ren : So wake him up.

  Jasper the Pup : You don't wake up from the *big* sleep.

  Ren : The big sleep... THE BIG SLEEP? THE BIG SLEEP! THE BIG SLEEP!

  Stimpy : What's the big sleep, Ren?

  Ren : ...he's DEAD! DEAD YOU EEDIOT! YOU KNOW WHAT DEAD IS? JUST LIKE WE'LL BE IF WE DON'T GET OUT OF 'ERE!

• [the guys are applying for jobs as firehouse dogs. Ren paints them both with "Dalmatian Paint"] 

  Ren : Now, what do you see, Stimpy?

  Stimpy : Ugly black spots.

  Ren : RIGHT. Now shut up and look stupid.

• Ren : At last I have control of your T.V. set. Is you're mother there? No? Good! Welcome to our secret headquarters.

  Stimpy : Deep inside the lower intestine of a sperm whale!

  Sperm Whale : [At vet's office, clutching stomah]  OH GOD! GOD! I CAN'T STAND IT! MAKE THE PAIN STOP!

• Ren : Now listen, Cadet. I've got a job for you. See this button?

  [Stimpy reaches for the button; Ren slaps his hand away] 

  Ren : Don't touch it! It's the History Eraser button, you fool!

  Stimpy : So what'll happen?

  Ren : That's just it. We don't know. Maybe something bad, maybe something good. I guess we'll never know, 'cause you're going to guard it. You won't touch it, will you?

• Ren : I'm so hungry I can't stand it. What are we having?

  Stimpy : Ta-da!

  Ren : A can! Wait a minute. What are you having?

  Stimpy : The usual. I'm having a sock.

  Ren : You're giving *me* the can? Are you sure?

  Stimpy : Go ahead. It's yours.

  Ren : You're one of the good ones, man.

• Stimpy : Ahem. Presenting the Cheese-A-Phone. Now we can communicate with various cheeses, regardless of their foreign tongue. Go ahead, Ren, say something in Limburger.

• Stimpy : Hey, Ren, this horse reminds me of your Uncle Eddie.

  Ren : Why is that?

  Stimpy : Because he's big and stinky.

  Ren : Hey, you shouldn't say mean things like that! Didn't you ever consider that this horse might have feelings?

• [Stimpy puts the Happy Helmut on Ren] 

  Ren : [panicky]  'ey! What iz this? Get it off me!

  Stimpy : It's the Happy Helmut, Ren. Now you'll always be happy! And this is the remote control, and I use this button to control how happy you are.

  Ren : YOU, SICK LITTLE MONKEY!

• Ren : Boy, Stimpy... we sure had fun today, didn't we? So long, kids! Come on, Stimpy, say goodbye.

  Stimpy : Duh, where are we going?

  Ren : [to Stimpy]  The show's over.

  [to Audience] 

  Ren : See you next time!

  Stimpy : Next time? When's that?

  Ren : Pretty soon. Don't worry.

  Stimpy : Pretty soon?

  [getting choked up] 

  Stimpy : How long is that?

  Ren : In a little while, man!

  Stimpy : [crying]  A little while? What'll we do 'til then?

  Ren : Why, you could shave your yak... or eat olive loaf!

  Stimpy : Blecch!

  [resumes crying] 

  Ren : I know! You can keep yourself busy with this!

  [gives Stimpy a bag of Gritty Kitty Litter] 

  Stimpy : Oh, joy!

  [takes the bag and runs off-screen] 

  Stimpy : [bag-tearing and litter-crunching noises are heard] 

  Ren : [getting pelted with clumps of litter]  Eh... goodbye, folks!

  Stimpy : Duh, goodbye, folks!

• Pixie Stimpy : Hey Ren, you ready for another day of back-breaking labor, kissing dew drops?

  Pixie Ren : Dew drop dead.

• Stimpy : I know how you can be important. I know how you can be really important.

  Ren : Really? How?

  Stimpy : You can be the president... of my fan club!

  Ren : President? Wow! President.

  [Ren imagines he's the President of the United States] 

  Ren : [Screaming on the phone]  What do you mean you don't agree with me? Do you know who you're dealing with?

  [Pushes "The Button"; A loud explosion blows up a chunk of the world; Ren laughs maniacally] 

  Ren : [Back to reality]  I'll do it!

• Stimpy : [singing to the tune of "God Save the King"]  Our country reeks of trees, our yaks are really large, and they smell like rotting beef carcasses. And we have to clean up after them, and our saddle sores are the best. We proudly wear women's clothing and searing sand blows up our skirts. And the buzzards they soar overhead, and poisonous snakes will devour us whole, and our bones will bleach in the sun. And we will probably go to...

  [bleep] 

  Stimpy : ...and that is our great reward for being the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen!

• Ren : All right, Stimpy. He's got us. Give him back the five bucks.

  Stimpy : [crying]  I can't! I've been bad, Ren. You'll smack me.

  Ren : When have I ever? Now go ahead. Tell me what's wrong?

  Stimpy : All this talk about eating made me hungry. I ate the five bucks.

  Ren : [Slaps Stimpy]  You stupid idiot! You filthy worm! You bloated sack!

• Stimpy : [Stimpy rapidly pokes at Ren's shoulder while he sleeps]  Ren? Ren?

  Ren : What EEZ IT, man?

• Stimpy : [singing like Sinatra]  When I eat too much, I regurgitate / Some hits the table, but most hits the plate / I like to eat, then re-eat what I ate / That's why my stomach -That's why my stomach, Jack! - that's why my stomach gets a cramp.

• [Stimpy's nose returns after striking out on it's own] 

  Stimpy : Nosey, Nosey, Nosey! We saw you on TV.

  Ren : So we burned it!

• Stimpy : That was the union, Local 6-7/8s, and we're on a walkout.

  [Takes out his Sidekicks Union card] 

  Ren : Organized ignorance, eh?

• Stimpy : [praying]  And please bless Grandma and Grandpa...

  Ren : And please give me a million dollars, and a fridge with a padlock and, oh yeah, huge pectoral muscles.

• Anthony's Dad : Making people laugh! Real hard work! I could do that! Listen to this: Why did they bury the fireman... behind the hill?

  Stimpy : [terrified]  I don't know why they buried the fireman behind the hill!

  Anthony's Dad : Because he was DEAD!

  Stimpy : That wasn't bad, Ren, maybe we could use that.

• Stimpy : It's my first Material Possession!

• Stimpy : Yay! And it's Carmelly Carmelly Carmel Corn!