Major League (1989)

Dennis Haysbert: Pedro Cerrano

Photos 

Quotes 

• Pedro Cerrano : Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.

  Eddie Harris : You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.

  Roger Dorn : Shit, Harris.

  Pedro Cerrano : Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.

  Eddie Harris : You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

• Lou Brown : [at a team meeting]  Can I have your attention, please?

  [picks up a bat and leans on it like a walking stick] 

  Lou Brown : I have something I think you all ought to know about.It seems that Mrs. Phelps doesn't think too highly of our worth. She put this team together because she thought we'd be bad enough to finish dead last, knocking attendance down to the point where she could move the team to Miami... and get rid of all of us for better personnel.

  Roger Dorn : Even me?

  Lou Brown : Even you, Dorn.

  Eddie Harris : What if we DON'T finish last?

  Lou Brown : She'll REPLACE you with somebody who WILL. After this season, you'll be sent back to the minors or given your outright release.

  Jake Taylor : [Jake stands up]  Well then I guess there's only one thing left to do.

  Roger Dorn : What's that?

  Jake Taylor : Win the whole fucking thing.

  [long pause] 

  Willie Mays Hayes : [Willie stands up]  Yeah.

  Pedro Cerrano : [Pedro pounds his hand]  YES!

  [everyone talks amongst themselves] 

• Pedro Cerrano : I'm pissed off now, Jobu. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You no help me now. I say "Fuck you Jobu", I do it myself.

• [Dressed in tuxedos, every team member, except Willie, stands behind Home Plate and looks at us] 

  Everybody : Hello. Do you know us?

  [Everybody, except Rick, puts on their caps] 

  Everybody : We're a Major League Baseball team.

  Jake Taylor : But since we haven't won a pennant in over 30 years, nobody recognizes us - not even in our own home town.

  Eddie Harris : That's why we carry the American Express card.

  Rick Vaughn : No matter how far out of first we are, it's cool. You know, it keeps us from getting shut out at our favorite hotels and restaurant-type places.

  Pedro Cerrano : [pointing to us]  So if you're looking for some Big-League clout, apply for that little green home-run hitter.

  Roger Dorn : Look what it's done for US. People still DON'T recognize us but...

  [Roger snaps his fingers] 

  Lou Brown : We're contenders now.

  [Also dressed in a tuxedo, Willie slides into home plate and holds up a green credit card] 

  Willie Mays Hayes : The American Express card: Don't steal home without it.

• Pedro Cerrano : Hats for bats, keep bats warm.

• Pedro Cerrano : Is very bad to steal Jobu's rum. Is very bad.

• Eddie Harris : Hey, Lou. Aren't we gonna have a prayer?

  [Dorn rolls his eyes and sighs] 

  Eddie Harris : I mean, uh, we're not all savages, like Cerrano over there.

  Pedro Cerrano : Cállate, cabrón!

  Lou Brown : You guys go ahead.

  Eddie Harris : Oh, well, ok. Uh, let's, all bow our heads.

  Roger Dorn : Excuse me I'll be in my office.

  [Dorn folds his newspaper, rises from his chair and walks out, making a fanning gesture behind his backside] 

  Eddie Harris : Dear heavenly father, we humbly pray that you will guide...

  [Cerrano ignites his ritual smoke with his cigar, which explodes with a loud bang] 

  Eddie Harris : Jesus Christ Cerrano!

  Pedro Cerrano : Have to wake up bat!

  Eddie Harris : Ok, shit. Can we try this again?

• [last lines] 

  Pedro Cerrano , Eddie Harris : We did it! We did it!