User Reviews

Despite its troubled production & release history and its low reputation, "Brenda Starr" is a movie with a lot going for it: a lively jazz score by Johnny Mandel, colorful cinematography by Freddie Francis, lots of comic-book-style flourishes by director Robert Ellis Miller, and one fabulous costume after another for Brooke Shields (this may not be a great movie, but it's a great fashion show at the very least!). Speaking of Brooke Shields, she's gorgeous with a great body: the director seems fetishistically obsessed with her legs - there are many frames with only her legs in them - and who can blame him? There are weak spots, too: the story has little drive, Tony Peck (who?) doesn't have enough charisma to be a leading man (on the other hand, Timothy Dalton is perfectly cast), and the cartoonish Russian villains are unfunny, but if you're a Brooke fan, you do not want to miss this film. **1/2 out of 4.

Brenda Starr is based on a long-running comic strip of the same name that I vaguely recall years ago, when I got a newspaper and would turn to the funny pages for Calvin & Hobbes. (For you youngsters out there, newspapers are kind of like web sites . . . on paper!) A 20-year-old Brooke Shields plays Brenda Starr, and at this point of Brooke's career as an actress . . . she's a beautiful woman. We'll leave it at that.

We are introduced to Brenda as a cartoon being drawn by disgruntled cartoonist Mike (Tony Peck, son of Gregory, evidence that talent often skips a generation). In his studio, Mike goes on an anti-Brenda Starr rant directed at his own scribblings of Brenda, concluding with: "I wouldn't even draw you if I didn't need the dough!" In a development that made no sense at the time and makes less in retrospect, Brenda comes alive on the page in front of Mike and quits the comic strip: "I've had it! Who do you think you are? . . . Bug off, buster!" Brenda Starr transforms from animation to Brooke Shields and walks off panel and into her next adventure in live action, which is still happening in make-believe CartoonLand.

I'm not sure what law is preventing the artist from simply drawing the character on paper, but Mike is desperate to get Brenda "back" to save his job. I promise, I'm not making any of this up. Rather than consult a psychiatrist about the mental disorder preventing him from drawing an imaginary woman after she came alive, Mike feels he has to convince Brenda to "come back".

In CartoonLand, Brenda is a "star(r) reporter" for a struggling newspaper known as The Flash in post-World War II New York. She's your typical, chic, spunky gal reporter. Brenda's latest scoop involves a hunt for a former Nazi scientist who has invented super-duper fuel in the Amazon, and whoever gets their hand on the fuel will determine the fate of the world . . . though we know it's just a cartoon where the stakes don't matter.

Mike draws a representation of himself to the exact location where he and Brenda had their spat, precariously perched on the ledge of a tall building. Mike is physically inserted in CartoonLand! I hope you are taking notes, because there will be a test later.

During Mike's odyssey, he stops at a coffee shop where he picks up a paper, and finds a comic strip with his exploits depicted on it, "The Adventures of Mike." The strip shows Mike coming into the coffee shop and reading the paper and having an encounter with a gypsy, which happens moments after he reads that's it's going to happen. So the gag is that in CartoonLand the comic strip shows the antics of a real person.

Now, Mike is a real person currently in CartoonLand, so the idea is that there's a cartoon following a non-cartoon, unfunny cartoonist, but only while he's in CartoonLand, and this strip is capable of depicting events mere seconds from occurring.

Mike ends up tagging along on Brenda's epic scoop hunt. Along the way they encounter lame comedic villains in a group of Russians (including Jeffrey Tambor, who in later years would become funny) and a rival, evil, lady reporter Lips Lipscomb. Brenda is aided by the mysterious, be-eye-patched Basil (Timothy Dalton, poor, poor Timothy Dalton). Basil's purpose in the movie is never entirely clear and his contributions in the story could be replaced by a helpful cab driver.

Basil's presence does add a debonair character with an eye-patch and gives Timothy Dalton a chance to dress like Zorro (no, seriously).

There is a bizarre subplot about Basil's family requiring toxins from a rare orchid or else they'll go "insane before their time," which never comes to fruition. (Incidentally, is there a proper time to go insane? If so, witnessing Brenda Starr may be such an instance.) Basil and Mike vie for Brenda's love. All the while Mike is trying to convince Brenda to come back with him. Again, not to quibble over small details, but I had no clue what Mike means by getting Brenda to come back with him — she is a cartoon character after all, and he's a real person who draws cartoon characters.

Does Mike want Brenda — who he now is madly in love with — to come with him to the real world? If that's the case and assuming it's possible, she was never there, so it wouldn't be coming back, she'd be going there for the first flippin' time! If it meant what I think it does, that Brenda just returns to the comic she somehow walked out on, what matter of consent or participation is required of her? Ultimately, after all the shenanigans are through and Brenda has played the piano with President Truman (seriously), gone through about 813 outfit changes, thwarted multiple spy agencies, skied atop crocodile steeds (again, not a joke), and saved the newspaper, Brenda tells Mike she can't go back with him. This leads to the following conversation:

Mike: "You're not coming with me?" (Brenda shakes head) "At least I'll be able to see you when I draw you every day."

Brenda (smiling): "Only if you're nice."

Mike then somehow returns to the real world, and begins to draw Brenda, the only thing that has changed is that he no longer hates drawing Brenda Starr.

SO WHAT IN THE BLUE HADES DID MIKE NEED TO GO INTO THE FICTIONAL WORLD IN ORDER TO CONVINCE BRENDA TO RETURN WITH HIM? EVEN AFTER HE FAILED MISERABLY HE IS PERFECTLY ABLE TO DO EXACTLY WHAT HE NEEDED TO DO, DRAW A REDHEADED WOMAN ON PAPER! *sigh* Like I said, Brenda Starr is the dumbest movie I have ever seen.

What the hell were the people behind "Brenda Starr" thinking (or were they even thinking to being with) when they made this…film based on the long-running, now-defunct newspaper comic strip by the late Dale Messick? Sure, comic strips, let alone comic books, weren't treated seriously then (Hollywood still had the Man of Steel on their brains), but if you make a film based on a fictional, antiquated female reporter (thanks, Gloria Steinhem), you have an embarrassing cine-wreck.

In the supposed real world, comic strip artist Mike Randall (Tony Peck, son of the Oscar-winning legend Gregory) toils on the "Brenda Starr" strip for Messick. In an odd fourth-wall smashing fashion, Starr (Brooke Shields, "The Blue Lagoon") refuses to be drawn by Randall and "quits". Randall, in some unexplainable way (one of the film's problems), goes into the strip to convince Starr to return before the deadline. She's busy, though, with tracking down a scientist in Puerto Rico and Brazil. Seems the egghead has invented a unique rocket fuel that has attracted both a bumbling band of Russian spies (What? No Nazis?) and Starr's rival newshound, Libby "Lips" Lipscomb (Diana Scarwid of "Mommie Dearest").

Intrigued? If not, congratulations. You have better sense than me, who saw the film for free and still wants the 94 minutes of my life back! The. . .film tries to be cute and campy so much, it descends.

Directed ineptly by Robert Ellis Miller, who used an obviously first draft script by James David Buchanan, Noreen Stone & Jenny Wolkind (a pseudonym for Delia Ephron, Nora's sister), "Starr" dims to black than shines, from start to end, especially from the start. After the women's liberation movement, the novelty of a female reporter seems dated, and those who know and enjoyed Brenda Starr are either dead or collecting Social Security. Who the hell is supposed to watch this film, let alone enjoy it?

Casting then-hot fashion model Shields as the title role was a bad attempt to get young audiences. The fact she goes through silly, implausible costume changes (I didn't bother to count how many. Sorry, Bob Mackie!) did next to nothing to help her in a flat, cardboard role. It's not one of her best moments. Doe-eyed Peck's no help, awkwardly being both comic relief and potential love interest. When he tries to make Starr utter a foul profane word, instead of "jeepers", it comes off a fact to the film's datedness. Also of no real use, aside of being beefcake with a eye-patch, is the dashing, mysterious Basil St. John (a pre-James Bond Timothy Dalton) who captures Starr's heart. At least poor Ms. Scarwid shares the sentiment of any unfortunate viewer when referring to Starr: "Oh! I wish I could kill her!"

Interestingly, the film was shelved to distribution disputes before premiering in 1986. Three years later, it bowed in France, where Shields was popular. Another three years, it came back here and bombed, without much publicity and wallowing in the shadows of better comic book/strip adaptations. If anything can learn from watching "Brenda Starr", it's to make a better film involving a more interesting female comic book/strip character (Paging Wonder Woman…).

Which is sad, as many people probably worked on this as hard as they did on any other film that made sense, had a workable plot, decent writing, any tempo, in short, something that is recognizably a film.

So, what went wrong. Why did the studios put money into something, hire so many people, and look at the end result and table it for as long as they could hoping no one would go to the theatre and see it? ( They were almost right, with no advance pub, screenings, posters etc. it vanished ) However the stars were aligned in heaven, simply every single component of this film failed. Which is not to criticize anybody in the film, I will leave that to, oh, critical people.

Every decision involved in this film worked out badly.

1. The initial sequence involved a man of undetermined origin (until you realise he's Irish!) with the worst accent in a major motion picture ever. NO,really. You have to see it.

2. The love interest/cartoonist is supposed to be a straight man.

Now I have no interest in gender politics, but the man in the role is so undeniably not heterosexual, that you would have to be literally blind and deaf not to notice. (back story is that no one bought a ticket for this when it was dumped out on a Friday, and after a couple of days of no shows, two local critics, and some friends of mine ponied up to get the theatre to show the film. One of the critics is openly gay, and turned around in the middle of the first scene to give a look of such utter perplexity, that to this day, he looked like a dog who had just been given the facility to reason and understand speech and was so utterly disappointed with our species that you could see his soul wither in front of you.)

3.OH a script would be nice. Somehow, someway, all of the ideas and revisions and changes that were made to this and at some point obviously made a director feel that he had made the chronological logic necessary to wrap and print, failed. FAILED. On a massive level.

4. Oh, there is lots and lots of amazing film to watch if you can make it through but find it yourself and go for it.

***Please find a copy and watch this movie. It is so less than the sum of its parts that it is hard not root for everyone connected to this. A jawdropping lack of coherency and committed sincerity, it will stay with you. To all fans who liked this, that is what makes the world so beautiful and why even though Something About Mary is seriously worse than this film I could not let the recommendation as calumnic-ish as it is, go by.

Brenda Starr is a wonky, wacky, campy good time at the movies. Based on the classic comic strip, this movie captures all of the fun and innocence that saturated the childhoods of the seventies. Brenda Starr, brilliantly portrayed by the effervescent Brooke Shields, is a reporter who goes that extra mile for a good story, and when she gets fed up with the artist who draws her, he jumps into her comic strip world of instant outfit changes and convenient plot segues and helps her on her newest search for a scoop.

This movie blends real story with caricature quirk and you will not be able to stop smiling from start to finish. The movie is aware of how ridiculous some of the misadventures are and instead of looking the other way it playfully points it out. Brenda Starr is a hidden gem that should be viewed by children and adults everywhere. It is reminiscent of The Goonies and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Both silly and over the top and completely lovable. 8.5/10